Klein Art Online

I Might Have Mental Problems

Hey bros the names' Klein. I just picked up a new rad game called Sword Art Online. To play it you have to put on this weird helmet that somehow connects your soul to the game. Don't ask me to explain how it works because I have no fucking clue how the human body even works.

Anyways, me and my dudez are gonna play it and see what the hell it is cause we have nothin better to do except go around beating up kids.

Before we start my bro Billy Bob orders a pizza from Pizza Hut. "You better be gettin olives on that or imma beat ur ass when we get back!" I yell, putting on the head gear. It's surprisingly light considering how big and bulky the damn thing is.

Billy Bob and my other man, Juicy J, come running in and also put on their head gear. "Okay boys, lets get this shiz on. Just follow my lead." I close my eyes and yell "Link start!" Which for some reason starts the game.

Instantly my room disappears and I'm sucked into some kind of bright light. Kind of like when you're on drugs...not that I'd know that feeling...heh heh.

Before I could start wondering if my brain had been turned to mush, I opened my eyes and realized I was standing in the middle of a town. Tall buildings stand on both sides of me, and I can faintly smell something like...gasoline? I shrug it off and turn around, my bros appearing behind me.

"Woah, where the hell are we?!" Juicy J exclaims, looking around frantically.

Billy Bob huffs in annoyance. "Well we're obviously in the game you idiot. What did you expect?"

"Guys shut up. C'mon lets go." I start walking towards a big fountain when suddenly two girls stop us.

"Hey babe, want to get it on tonight? All I require is a small kiss." The lady strokes her hand down my chest and looks into my eyes.

Now, normally I wouldn't say no to an offer like this, especially from a smokin hot chick like her, but today I wasn't really feelin it. I was still pooped out from the other night and I needed some time before I did it again. Luckily I have two men who would be very willing to take my place.

"Sorry sweet, but I just can't tonight. But these two guys behind me would love to do a pretty thing like you and your friend if you're up to it." I say, dragging them over to Billy Bob and Juicy J. I give them a wink and they excitedly walk off with the two women.

Wow, what a nice friend I am. I think to myself, mentally noting to ask them how it went when we got back. I start walking further into the city, not knowing where the hell I was going. It was time to explore.

x-x-x-x-x

It was about mid-day by the time I got to the edge of the city. A wide meadow spread out before me, with rows of wild flowers nestled in between tall grass. It was actually quite beautiful.

About 50 yards away there was a huge ass rock just sittin there. As I looked closer I realized there was someone laying on it. What the hell? Aren't you suppose to fight in this game? Or did that dude just think this was some place to lay down and take a friggin nap?!

I start jogging over to the guy just to make sure it isn't a corpse. I mean come on, he could have been stabbed or something. I just have to make sure.

As I neared the rock the guy stirred and opened his eyes. Shit, he isn't dead. I was hoping for some excitement.

As soon as the guy saw me he hurriedly stood up, looking around quickly. I couldn't help but notice how his hair was spiked up in different places, probably from sleeping in an awkward position. He looked to be about 17 and damn, those eyes, they were like gray with a little hint of blue.

Holy shit he's fuckin hot! I didn't notice I was staring until the guy cleared his throat, a small blush forming on his cheeks.

"U-uh, c-can I help you?" The guy muttered quietly, looking away.

"Yeah, you were just sleepin on this rock so I wanted to make sure you weren't dead or somethin. What's your name?"

"My-my name's Kirito..." The guy muttered so softly I could barely hear. What was this dude's problem?

"Um okay... Kirito, my name is Klein."

He looked back up at me. "That's nice..."

Klein, say something before this get really awkward! "So, you been playin the game long?"

"Yeah..." Kirito started looking around as if he was trying to find a way to escape.

"Fuck! Look how awkward you made it! Bad Klein. Bad!" My thoughts screamed at me. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block it out. "Now how are you going to confess your love? He probably wishes he were dead right now cause of the awkwardness!"

I put my hands over my ears. "SHUT UP!" I screamed. The voices instantly stopped and I looked up at Kirito, the poor kid looked at me like I was crazy. Probably cause I was.

Kirito started backing away slowly. "Uh, I have to go." He whipped around and ran.

"Great, now he thinks you have mental problems." My thoughts growled.

"Yeah, no thanks to you." I growled back.

Oh well. Not like I needed anyone anyways. I sighed and continued on through the meadow.

A/N
Hello everyone who somehow found this book and started reading it. Just to make this clear - I honestly have no idea what this book is even about, I just started writing it out of boredom. So yeah, this whole story is going to be totally random. Yippee! I hope you enjoy?
(👍≖‿‿≖)👍
~Ambercat