RadioApple X Reader: Imperfect

18. Comforting

*** Your POV ***

You woke up feeling undeniably cozy underneath the fluffiest blanket in all of existence and your head resting on a pillow of absolute perfect squish. Not to hard, but not too soft. Your eyes opened slowly, accessing the dimmed room to find a large white table and light colored décor with golden accents. Lucifer's office. With a small groan - and very reluctantly - you lifted yourself up as memory of you trying to get to Alastor's office came up. This nap hit very fast, one minute you were fine talking to Husker and the next you felt like you were going to fall asleep where you stand.

You were really growing annoyed with this, even if Alastor was completely correct in that eternity is a long time, it was still frustrating. Nobody warned you that your cat form could make you practically narcoleptic. But then again, this was Hell, and there was a pattern to these, you just haven't gotten the hang of it.

You turned your head and realized that the perfect-squish-pillow you were laying on was in fact Lucifer himself. Oh geez. You couldn't help but observe him for a second, his face relaxed, one arm behind his head, and the other has now fallen to the seat from probably resting around your shoulders. He was absolutely beautiful, the soft shine of the sun, power, authority, and safety oozing out of him, even like this.

Taking a glance up at the clock you realized you must have been asleep like this for over two hours at the minimum. With a big sigh you went to poke at his shoulder, but before you could Lucifer scrunched up, his eyes screwing shut and and his head twisting away from you.

"No, stop, not..." He whimpered, "Not here!" The angel almost hissed, like in a phantom pain, and you could see the beginning of tears in his eyes.

"Lucifer!" Now with urgency you put a hand on his cheek to try to wake him up.

"Please no, not in front... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I..."

"Lucifer! Wake up!" You shook his shoulders and he woke with a start, his eyes looking at you but not really seeing. "Lucifer, its okay. It was just a dream. You're okay."

He began to cry. Quietly, like it was being forced to come out. You sat back and pulled him up off the pillows behind him, wrapping your arms below his shoulders. After a few moments he finally hugged back, burying his face in you hair.

Some minutes passed until Lucifer said "I'm sorry," and pulled away, wiping his tears with the back of his hand.

"Its okay." You said, reaching out to pet his head. You weren't exactly sure why that was the gesture you went with but it seemed to work as Lucifer gave out a huge relieved exhale at it. But his mental state didn't clear up. "You wanna talk about it?"

"I... um." The angel's face contorted between clear want to continue talking and then absolute vehement denial of the notion.

"Its okay if you don't, but it might help. Keeping it all pent up inside doesn't feel good." You said that very sincerely. You were fortunate you met Alastor, and ended up being able to talk to him about, well, everything. But even for those few days prior, processing it all without talking about it was not a great feeling, even if you were distinctly happier on the other side.

"Well. Khm." Lucifer cleared his throat and sat back, leaning on the back of the lounge chair. "Lillith... sent me divorce papers." He paused like he was trying to find the next sentence in an endless void. "I haven't signed them."

"Do you still love her?" You tilted your head. A little confused at this point since he did agree to this little courting game. You kind of assumed if they weren't divorced already they might as well be.

"I don't... know. I want to? Because I don't want Charlie to be hurt. But..." He sniffled trying to wipe tears with the back of his sleeve but more kept coming out, "everytime I think about her... I just... I remember bad things. Not good ones."