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FINDING MYSELF UNABLE to sleep, I went under the bed taking the box of love letters out.
Getting a pen from the dresser, I took a clean page out and began writing.
Dear Skai,
You think so lowly of yourself and I wish I could help. But I can't. I can't help you to love yourself if you aren't vulnerable to me about why you hate yourself. Yuh feel like seh as some random groupie come dung the line mi ago drop yuh but dat far from the truth.
You're more than sex to me. Mi feel actual affection towards yuh weh so strong mi cya even explain it. Lust is there, but the adoration surmounts it. Mi still a touch the parts of my face that your lips ghosted over. Is like mi can feel the kiss sedway.
It made me feel cherished and loved. The way how you chose particular parts of my face to kiss. Mi nuh know how fi explain to yuh seh mi nuh wah yuh leave, seh yah the only one weh mi want. Seh if mi get you nuhbody else naav mi attention. Mi nuh know how fi tell yuh seh mi can hardly focus round yuh..
Is like mi mind turn mushy and relaxed round yuh. Mi let mi guard dung round yuh. Mi mek yuh put yuh mouth pan mi and trust mi, mi nuh play dah mouth inna face ting deh but that fi show you seh you different pan so many levels.
Mi ago try mi best fi express mi self, if anuh inna letter. It ago be inna the form a one song.
Mi jus wah yuh realize seh a from mi heart dis.
Yours Truly, Duijai.
Closing the cap on the pen, I realized that it was after 6 and decided it was time to get ready.
Speeding through my morning routine of showering, brushing my teeth and washing my face, moisturizing and adorning myself in my school attire, I went downstairs for my suede bankrobber that was in the mini-fridge.
"Morning mum." I said as she jumped holding her heart.
"Yuh frighten mi yuh fuck.. no sah.. a weh you get dat deh voice deh from?" She asked as I smiled rolling my eyes while putting my shoes on.
"Cya believe mi mek yuh mark up yuh face suh bout yuh deh pan self-discovery journey.. want a fuck kick." She hissed. "Anyways, guh fi Skai. Mi want uno do sumn after-school suh the two a uno stick together fi the day." She said as I internally groaned.
She and Miss Mary up to sitn enuh..
Nodding, I gave her a kiss on the cheek grabbing my black custom bag and my car keys before leaving out.
Speeding my way to Portmore, I saw her standing at the bus stop clutching herself because of the cold. Seeing my car, she got in the front seat greeting me.
"Morning." She said, her voice low.
"Morning." I replied passing her my sweater from the back seat as she thanked me plugging her phone in and leaning back.
Heading back to our school in Spanish Town, I stayed in the parking lot smoking before I woke her up.
"We reach.. time fi guh in now." I said to her popping a Juicy fruit in my mouth holding it out to her as she yawned taking one.
Fixing her edges and re-applying her lip-gloss, she stepped out with her bag.
One thing mi love bout har is she eva neat and smell good. She put time inna har appearance and mi rate dat. Issa big turn on.
"Mommy wah we volunteer a the youth center a church after school. Dem claim fi seh dem ago busy suh dem wah we tek dem place in cooking and serving. Yuh cool wid dat?" She asked as I nod my fingers brushing against hers as we walked to class.
Did affi lef Diamond.. mi nuh like hurt females and mi nuh see har like that. She too eager fi clout, love post and tag mi and it jus a gimmie a weird vybz.
"Yah man. Nuff time mi volunteer wid har.. Issa ting where Youth Fellowship a keep and alla the youths from the community come out and get food and play game or watch movie. Tonight a movie night fi dem." I said as we entered the class. The teacher wasn't here as yet.
"Yuh sure yuh nuh wah siddung back side a mi?" She said as I sighed.
"Mi a gi yuh yuh space. When yuh ready you will come to mi. Have a good day Skai." I murmured kissing the top of her head as she sighed walking to her seat.
11:00AM.
Sitting around my group of friends, I buried my head in my phone scrolling through and listening to different beats jotting down song lyrics.
"Yow." Demari said calling me as I took the airpods out giving them my full attention.
Skai and her friends were at the same table as us. It was currently lunch time and since wah day yah we've been hanging out as a group.
"Yeah weh uno a seh?" I said getting back in my jovial mood as the girls turned their attention to us.
"Gi wi a freestyle nuh?" He said as I sighed watching the crowd gather around.
Rassclaat now.
"Gi mi a beat." I said as he started making me hum finding the right lyrics.
"Ah mad.." I said.
"Watch yuh mouth likkle fish man haunted, a night now man sick from mawning, spells and names pan list man chant it.. a we a roll wid eh zig-zag brawling step.. cause if yuh dis when dawg is dead bwoy wrap up and stink like mawning breath, bwoy wrap up and stink like dawg shit, bwoy wrap up and stink like dawg him dead." I sung as the table erupted in different comments the boys around me egging me on as more people joined around.
"Bloodclaat mad dawggg!" Corey said as I laughed.
"Mi nuh done enuh, level.. watch yah forgive mi if mi wrong when mi seh ring fi load up and clip fi ram, dem deh bwoy nah live fi long cause we a sin fi real and anuh sin fi prank. Forgive mi if dis wrong but mi dawk and mi dunce and a likkle bit mad. Sinful, dis who? weh? pussy which pawt? Deven inna yuh place cause mi fully witchcraft." I finished watching as Corey ran from the chair across from us then back everybody banging the table in a dramatic manner.
Dem a exaggerate.. dat a did just a rough piece..
"Wow." I heard a small voice said as I smiled to myself as I noticed it was Skai.
Jah know, mi render har dumb wid mi lyrics.
"The man av it doh? Bloodclaat ute yah guh mek it man. Believe." Demari said as I dapped him up smiling slightly.
Hearing the bell ring, I looked at my calendar realizing I had a video shoot tomorrow. Just perfect since school nah keep fi we sixth formers.
Getting up and walking to class, I leisurely took my time texting before actually going in the class.
