Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
••••
VICTORIA KNOCKED ON ROSIE'S BEDROOM DOOR. She didn't know what else to do since she hadnt come out since Victoria had gotten home. She sighs as she opens it a crack, glad she hadnt put a lock on it like Rosie had wanted. She notices her sister just laying on her bed, scrolling through her phone. "I made some breakfast if you want to come out and eat." She suggests with a small smile but it doesn't last long as she receives no answer.
She didn't blame Rosie for being mad, she just wanted to talk. "Rosie, can you please talk to me." Victoria pleads as she leans against the door frame. Rosie moves her eyes to her, a glare set on her face.
"Why should I?" Rosie asks her which honestly Victoria was glad for since at least she was saying something.
"I know I left suddenly--"
"You didn't even say goodbye." She snaps harshly. Rosie would feel different if Victoria had explained what was going on but she didn't. She was just suddenly being picked up by Bobby and brought to their house.
"And I promise you, it had nothing to do with you." Victoria denies, not wanting her to think It had anything to do with her or raising her because Victoria didn't regret that that in the slightest.
"Saying that doesn't make it all better." Rosie retorts and Victoria slowly makes her way over to the bed, sitting on the edge of it. "Why were you in Chicago? Why couldn't I go with you?" She asks, genuinely just wanting to understand what was going on.
"Because it was something I had to do on my own." Victoria admits and Rosie could see the pain that had formed in her sisters eyes.
"Did you visit Anthony's grave? Shays?"
"I was too much of a coward to even show my face at the firehouse." She mutters, feeling so pissed off with herself.
"Then why did you go?" Rosie asks but Victoria seemed hesitant to say anything. "Vic, im your sister. I know you think you need to protect me from everything but who protects you?" She questions as she moves closer to Victoria, taking her hand. "Please talk to me." She pleads, wanting to be let in on whatever pain Victoria seemed to be keeping to herself.
"I-i.." Victoria clears her throat, sniffling a bit. "I um..." She closes her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. "After shays death, I was feeling very down, I felt like nothing mattered anymore, that everyone else was just going... like everything I ever knew was just going to fade away." She starts to explain and Rosie watches her intently. "I felt like I was suffocating every single day." Victoria admits and Rosie felt her heart break a little bit.
Promoted stories
You'll also like
"Vic, why didn't you talk to me about it?" Rosie asks her curiously. She was older now, it wasn't like she was still a little kid, not understanding certain emotions.
"Because I didn't want to bother anyone." Victoria hated being the burden, she hated everyone turning their attention to her when they had their own problems to deal with.
"Did Buck know you felt like this?" Rosie questions, wondering if he had known any sort of inkling as to what Victoria was hiding within herself.
"I bought oxy." Victoria blurts it out, feeling some relief leave her as it xame out. Rosie was shocked at first, her mouth opening but closing as she stared at her sister. "At first it was just to take the edge off, to take away the pain. But it still wasn't stopping the endless thoughts bashing around in my mind." She explains. Victoria had thought it would help but it had only made things ten times worse.
"Is this why you slept with Kelly?" Rosie asks her and Victoria looked a bit surprised. "I know things." She admits as she shrugs her shoulders.
"I didn't sleep with him." Victoria denies with a small groan.
"What? But didn't you tell Buck you cheated on him?" She questions, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.
"We kissed." Victoria says. "For a whole two seconds before I pulled away-- and we were both so out of it." She admits and Rosie closes her eyes, shaking her head a bit.
"Vic..."
"I took a lot of pills that day." Victoria feels her voice shake, having to swallow harshly to be able to speak properly. "I think I was trying to convince myself that it was just to make it all bearable, to make my mistake less of..." She rubs her face as she just shifts in her spot. "I didn't know I wanted to die until afterwards, when I woke up in the hospital and I felt so..... numb." She admits.
Rosie was quietly listening, her hand squeezing Victoria's knee. Victoria felt like she was failing by admitting this to Rosie. She wasn't supposed to be aware of all of Victoria's problems she just had to focus on her own. But this is what Victoria got for not dealing with them properly.
"Bobby and Hen sent me to a rehab facility in Chicago, that's why I went there so suddenly. They sent me to Chicago because they thought being near my friends would help but I was too scared to face them because I felt like everyone would judge me even though they are like our family and they would've done nothing but help."
"I'm so sorry." Rosie apologizes, having no idea any of this had been happening to her and she felt ashamed that she didn't notice anything was wrong.
"I wanted to visit the graves but I felt like it would've been too much." Victoria surely wouldnt have made it if she had gone alone. "Even after I left rehab, I just feel like if I went there, I would've spiraled again." She admits and Rosie nods her head.
"You don't have to explain anymore, okay? I understand." Rosie didnt want her to say anything she wasnt ready to say yet. "Does Buck know any of this?" She asks cautiously, not knowing if it was a sore subject to bring up. Victoria was silent.
"No."
"Why did you hurt him, Vic?"
"I wasnt thinking. The only thing that was in my mind was the constant nagging that I wasn't good enough for anyone and that he deserved someone better. So, I guess my mind convinced itself that if I made him hate me, he would be forced to move on instead of waiting for me to get out of rehab."
