Haikyuu!! Oneshots

You Deserve Better (Asahi Azumane)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to azuriota]

Requested by: Yours Truly

Word Count: 3,561

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:
- Mental Health
- Anxiety
- Mental Breakdown

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The teddy bear energy that radiates off my boyfriend filters into my club room before the sight of the man is present. The other members of the band can sense it too, soft snickers being sent my way, a few soft teases mixed in.
"Honey, are you in here?" Asahi's voice quickly joins the joking, a soft knock on the club room door ringing out.
"Hey," I greet, sending him a reassuring smile. Some of the anxiety melts from his face, his smile cementing a bit more. "How was practice?" I ask, quickly - but carefully - putting my things into my cubby.
"Tiring," Asahi answers, his focus on slowly working his way into the room, making sure not to bump into or break any of the instruments or parts littered around the room. "Noya tried his rolling thunder move again which used to not be a big deal but this one time - "
"This one time, at band practice." The volume of the room explodes, every member piping up with the well-known quote.
Asahi nervously laughs, awkwardly standing behind me. "I don't know what that means."
"It's a quote from American Pie," I fill in the gaps for him, settling on the carpeted floor so I can pull my band shoes off and slip my day-to-day shoes on. "Anyway, rolling thunder is a big deal now, why?"
"He... uh... tripped Tanaka and Coach band the move for a while," he finishes his statement, nervous hands toying with my hair before he scares himself into stopping the soft touches.
Once my shoes are on, I jump onto my feet, tugging my school bag out of its place before turning around. "Ready?" I ask, situating the strap comfortably on myself.
     "Ya," he murmurs, eyeing me for a second before his head snaps away, a soft pink slithering across his cheeks.
     I smile to myself, enjoying Asahi's easiness to embarrassment as I make my way out of the room, saying goodbye and waving to a few of the other members. He follows after me, trudging around like a shy Great Dane, worried about knocking something over with its wagging tail.
     He eases up when we get outside of the club room, an audible sigh leaving him as his shoulders relax. Once I'm sure Asahi is fully relaxed - or at least as relaxed as his nerves will ever allow - I slide my hand around his arm, my fingertips clinging to his bicep. "You have a game tomorrow, right?" I ask, glancing up at him before I lead us forward.
     "Ya, well, a practice match," he stumbles out, happily letting me take the lead as I direct us down the stairs and away from the club rooms.
     "That's like a 'fake' game, right? No actual reward for winning? Just some in-game practice?"
     "Ya," he sighs, voice a bit airy as he trudges along beside me. I don't have to glance to know what his face looks like. His cheeks are pink, like always, eyes soft and pretty much stamped with hearts as he stares at me.
     Asahi is an easy man to love. It doesn't take much to make him happy. Get along with his friends, take an interest in volleyball and his fashion knowledge, and listen when he talks. That's the whole groundwork for making him feel cared for. His anxiety is a harder part to care for, but even that can be pretty easy. For the most part, he just needs reassurance.
     "Um... since tomorrow is Saturday and it's against Nekoma I probably won't be available most of the day," he rushes out, his free arm jerking to the side so he can lay his hand on top of mine.
     "That's alright. Practice is important," I tell him, knocking my head back so I can look up at him. I squeeze his arm as I send him a smile, hoping it'll help calm down any thoughts starting to brew in his mind. "Plus we have a band meeting tomorrow to discuss the upcoming school club presentations. I'll pop my head into the gym to say hello and see a few of your spikes. Maybe I'll even get spoiled and get to see you serve."
     That does the trick, Asahi's muscles relaxing again under my soft reassurance. "I don't know if I'll play as good with you watching."
     "I went to all your official games last year and you played fine," I remind him, leading the two of us out of the school gates and off school property.
     "Ya, you did," he mutters, a weary smile on his face as his hand messes with the bun his hair is tied in. "Anyway, I just brought it up 'cause... well... um... since I'll busy most of tomorrow and usually we... you know... Saturdays are kind of our day to spend... together. I was just... I want to - "
     "Asahi?" I interpret, my footsteps falling to a stop, his quickly ending too.
     "Ya, Hon?" He mutters, looking down at me, a bit of curiosity coating his face. It's nice to see something other than worry or anxiety painting his features.
     I turn to the side, my head tilted and the side of my body pressed into his arm so I can look up at Asahi better. "Since you're going to be busy all day tomorrow, could we get dinner tonight instead?"
     I can see my question working its way into his thoughts, a slow smile growing on his lips as he processes my words. "Of course, I'd like that," he mutters, pink quickly joining the huge grin on his face.
     I jump up to my tippy toes, plopping a kiss on his cheek before I settle flat on my feet again. An excited peep spills from him, one that I don't acknowledge so he doesn't get self-conscious about it. Instead, I start our footsteps again, making our way down the street, toward the neighborhood we live in.
     Our walk is quiet and soothing for a few moments. The sun setting, the soft final chirps of the birds, the slow melting of the stars into the sky. Even the long shadows starting to form on the road bring a different kind of comfortable beauty.
     "Honey?" Asahi calls, pulling my attention away from the soft admiration I was giving our walk. I let out a hum, once again tilting my head back to look up at him. "I don't think there's anything open this late. I'm sorry."
     "The Sakanoshita Market should be open, right?"
     The smile that's always on his face drops away, a soft frown replacing his pearly grin. "I'm not taking you to a convenience store for dinner, Hon."
     "Why not? As long as we get to eat together, I don't care where we go to dinner. Sakanoshita is fine, it's open, and it's on the way home. Seems perfect to me," I mutter, shrugging my shoulders once I'm done talking.
     A big part of Asahi's anxieties surrounding our relationship is his insecurities and worries I'm going to leave. The biggest root of that issue is money. He's always worried he's not living up to or offering enough of the glamour he believes a boyfriend should offer his girlfriend. No matter how many times I tell him I don't care and that material love is something I don't need, it never seems to sink in.
He sucks in his cheek, nibbling on it as he thinks my statement over. "You deserve better than Sakanoshita," Asahi whispers, looking anywhere but me.
     "They have the best rice balls I've ever had. I'm excited to have them for dinner," I try to soothe, leaning against the ace as we walk. Silence falls between us again, Asahi buried in his thoughts, and me buried away too, thinking of ways to make him feel better.
     Why can't he see I'm happy with anything as long as it's the two of us together? We could get cheap ramen cups and heat them in the microwave at one of the houses and I'd be happy because we're eating together. I wish he could see that. I wish he'd believe me when I tell him that.
     It's not long until the hill leading down to the Sakanoshita Market comes into view. Instinctually, Asahi shakes my hold off his arm before slithering it around my back, clinging to my hip so I don't stumble on the decline and fall.
     My hand slides across his back too, crawling across the material of his white practice shirt. My fingers ball up some of the material, holding onto it instead of the stretch waistband of his shorts. "You deserve better than Sakanoshita," Asahi repeats, his grip tightening before it evens out again.
"Sakanoshita is perfect, just like you're perfect," I mutter back, laying my head against him.
"I'm glad you think so," he sighs, pulling away from me when we get to the bottom of the hill. Asahi is too deep in his self-doubt for me to drag him out of it. I decide to leave it be, wanting to fill our quick dinner with admiration before we're apart for the weekend. Sometimes showering him in love is enough to get his mind off its negative track; hopefully, this is one of those times.
His body stiffens the closer we get to the store's door, but he still holds it open for me, letting me walk in first. "Thank you," I mutter, smiling at him as I walk past.
"You deserve so much better," he whispers under his breath, but I still pick up on it. I leave it be, focusing on the way Asahi's hand settles on the small of my back, leading me around his coach's shop. Why can't he see that these little moments are all I need? I wish he could see himself through my eyes.