The Voice In The Crowd - Leah Williamson

79. Escape

Sophia's POV.

I wake up to the harsh blare of the alarm at 6AM, the same grating sound that's been my companion for the past five days. The sun hasn't crept over the horizon yet, and the early morning light casts long shadows across the room. I sit up in bed, groggy but determined. Today is another day in rehab, another step in the long journey of putting my life back together.

I shuffle out of bed and make my way to the shared bathroom. The cold water from the sink shocks me fully awake, and I stare at my reflection. Dark circles under my eyes, a paleness that wasn't there before, and a certain emptiness in my gaze. This place is already starting to leave its mark, but I know it's for the better.

Breakfast is a muted affair in the common dining room. I sit with a group of people I've started to get to know over the past few days. There's Maria, a former nurse dealing with prescription drug addiction; Jamal, a musician whose life was derailed by heroin; and Claire, a college student battling alcoholism just like me. We exchange nods and murmured greetings, the early hour stifling any real conversation.

After breakfast, we head to our first group therapy session of the day. We sit in a circle, the chairs arranged in a way that forces us to face each other. Our therapist, Dr. Patel, is a kind woman with a gentle demeanor but a steely resolve. She guides us through a series of discussions and exercises meant to help us confront our addictions.

"Sophia, would you like to share today?" Dr. Patel asks, her eyes meeting mine.

I take a deep breath, feeling the weight of everyone's attention on me. "Yeah, I'll share," I say, my voice trembling slightly.

I recount the events of the past few months, from the assault that shattered my sense of security to the feelings of insecurity at the England camp, to the spiral into drinking that followed. As I speak, I feel the raw emotions bubble to the surface—anger, fear, shame. But most of all, there's a deep, gnawing guilt about Leah. I tell the group about her, about how she's been my rock through everything, and how I betrayed her by cheating.

"Why do you think you cheated, Sophia?" Dr. Patel's question cuts through the silence.

I swallow hard, the words forming slowly in my mind. "I think... I think I was just self sabotaging. There was so much noise regarding my life and my relationship that I just wanted to shut them up, I did that in the worst way by completely destroying everything around me."

The group is silent, absorbing my confession. I feel a strange mix of relief and vulnerability, laying my soul bare like this.

"Thank you for sharing, Sophia," Dr. Patel says softly. "Acknowledging the root of your actions is the first step toward healing."

After the session, we break off for some individual therapy. Dr. Patel has assigned me to work with another therapist, a man named Mark who specializes in trauma. We sit in his cosy office, surrounded by books and soft lighting.

"Today, I want to talk about coping mechanisms," Mark begins. "You've been using alcohol to cope with your trauma. What healthier alternatives can we explore?"

We spend the next hour discussing various techniques - mindfulness, journaling, physical exercise. It's a lot to take in, but I'm willing to try anything at this point.

Lunch is a quieter affair. I find myself sitting with Claire again. She's young, just a few years younger than me, and there's a sadness in her eyes that mirrors my own.

"How are you holding up?" she asks, poking at her salad.

"It's tough," I admit. "But I think it's getting a little easier each day."