Garfield in captain underpants

Chapter 6

Captain underpants saw the water gun. He put his eye to it "That will be interesting to put my eye up to."

He accidently squirts the water gun, turning himself back into Krupp. "What? How did I get here? Why is my face wet?" He saw his broken window.

Harold and George head to their classroom where Poopypants writes down his name.
Which is Professor P.

Professor P. said "Hiya, class. I'm your cool, new teacher. Not some scary guy with a secret evil agenda. Anyway, I'm just going to dive right in here. If there was one thing about this world that you could change... what would it be?"

A girl said "Ooh! Ooh! Peace on Earth."
Professor P said "Unattainable. Anyone else?" He walked down the desks, and continued talking.

Garfield said "Pacific Ocean into chocolate."

Harold said "Atlantic into nacho cheese."

George said "It's like we're the same person and yet so, so different. I love it."

Professor P said "But more importantly... if I had to change one thing about the world... it would be to get rid of... laughter."

Vic asked "Get rid of laughter?"

Harold asked "What kind of person wants to do that?"

Melvin said raising his hand "Oh, oh! Ah! Ah! Sir, sir."

Professor P asked "Yes?"

Melvin said "I love it."

Professor P said "Oh, look at this. We got a grade A suck-up. Good to know, good to know." He opened his case and pulled out a chart of a brain "Anyway. This is the brain of an average child." As he says this Melvin wrote every word Professor P is saying. "Right here is the "thinking about candy" lopalus. The "fear of what's under the bed" lobe. This is the "only thing I'll eat is pizza... "chicken nuggets, or buttered noodles" lobe. Right here is the "as soon as someone else has a toy... "I want that toy" anterior lobe." He tossed his stick "And this... This is the Hahaguffawchuckleamalus. This funny little purple part holds our entire capacity for laughter. For years, I've tried to shrink it or cut it out entirely...he made a cutting motion to it, as the kids tired to see by leaning "but frustratingly, our survival seems dependent upon it." Professor P smiled.

George said "I don't like this. I mean, I don't really understand it. But the stuff I am understanding seems genuinely bad to me."

Harold said "Yeah, same. Um... Excuse me, Professor P? Why are you trying to get rid of laughter? Isn't laughter the best medicine?"

Profesor P shouted "Medicine is the best medicine! So..."

Harold shrunk a bit "Yeesh."

George raised his hand. Professor P asked "What?"

George asked "What does the P stand for?"

Professor P asked "Excuse me?"

George said "The P. In your name. What does it stand for?"

Professor P said "Oh, it's private." He began wiping off the chalk.

George asked "So that means your name is Professor Privates?"

Then the kids began laughing. Melvin said "What's so funny? I don't-I don't get it."

Professor P jumped onto a desk making the kids gasp as he shouted "Principal's office, now! You too!"

George asked "Why him?"

Professor P said "Because your friendship and shared sense of humor irritates me... and must be destroyed!"