SomewhatDistracted Critiques

Will You Read My Story?

Critiques are CLOSED for now. I'll open them up again soon. My apologies.

Maybe...

Everyone who has written anything on Wattpad wants whatever they've written to be read. It's just a simple fact. And now we're pretty much limited to the SYS threads in each genre to advertise. Yes, that is a problem.

The SYS Club was awful. Now, don't get me wrong. I received many wonderful fans, followers, minions, and partners-in-crime from sharing in that club, but I found that most of my genuine reads/fans came from my critiquing threads.

What I found in SYS was that people just clicked and left a super-generic comment. I'd spend thirty minutes on their story and they'd spend thirty seconds on mine, at times being nice enough to critique my author's note.  When I created threads in there, they always came with a caveat. The person wanting my read/critique had to tell me what they learned from my story, Seriously, Horrible. And let's face it...That's easy. There are so many lessons in each chapter that practically scream at people or jump out at them and grab them by...whatever. Each time I did that, I ended up with devoted followers and people adding my story to their reading list of their own volition. Not because I said they had to, but because they wanted to. That's why I add stories to my library/reading list, etc.

Let me tell you about my critiques. They're helpful. I've had some people tell me that my critiques were the most helpful that they'd received on their now-published books. I've had people tell me that I catch what everyone else misses. I've also had people tell me that I'm professional about it---but, it's important that I point out that I'm not a professional. I've also had someone say that they would just about kill to have me do for her novel what I've done for some of the others. 

What I am in my critiques: thorough. I'm also generally pretty nice about it. If your story is the worst thing I've ever read, I'm not going to tell you that. I'm going to focus on how to improve it. I don't believe in destroying a person's spirit. I'd rather help you by listing things to work on and things that I liked.

Will I critique your story? Why, yes, I probably will. But it comes at a cost.

1. You will need to read at least one chapter of my story, Seriously, Horrible.

2. You will also need to leave a meaningful comment. "Dis so funny, u da next JKRowling" will not work. I want something that shows you actually read the chapter. I'd also love something that you learned from the chapter (something not to do, something I did that's a big no-no, etc.) in that comment. 

3. AFTER you have completed your part, you will need to leave the following in the comment section of this chapter:

          A. Leave a link to your story.

          B. Tell me the genre.

          C. Give a blurb about your story that is no more than twenty words, basically an advertisement.

Do NOT leave a link to your story on Seriously, Horrible. If you do, I will delete your comment and I will NOT critique your story. Let me repeat that: Do not leave a link to your story on any other story of mine except for this one. It's very bad manners. Right here on this chapter is where you can advertise your story for a critique. 

Here is what I will do:

1. I will take a look at your first chapter/prologue. I may choose to go further, depending on time/chapter length, etc, but that is at my own discretion. Don't ask me to look at chapter twenty-four if I haven't read chapter one.

Now, if you're a fan/follower/minion/loyal supporter of my story, I will GLADLY take a look at a later chapter. I will probably be paying you guys and gals a much-deserved visit soon. This is not me telling you to fan me. I only want you to follow me if it is warranted.

2.  I will be as tactful and constructive as possible. Unless your story is absolutely flawless, you will probably have a several-hundred-characteristic comment on your story, possibly even more than one comment if I run out of room. 

3.  I will post my critique in your comments. If you don't wear big-girl/boy panties, don't bother to ask for a critique. I won't PM them, because honestly, that's three extra clicks that I don't want to make when I've just spent thirty minutes to an hour on your story. I know. I'm lazy. But generally, when someone wants them PMed, it's because s/he can't handle criticism, even if it's very constructive.

4.  I will answer any questions regarding my critique. If I use a term you aren't familiar with, please ask me. Same goes if you're not sure how to correct the problem. 

What I will NOT do:

1.  Write your story for you.

2.  Edit for you (unless I've agreed to do that for you). If you have minor errors, I'll point them out, but if  I'm going to spend two days correcting grammar issues.....ummm....no. 

3. Vote for your story unless it is something that I would be willing to buy in a store. I hope that you're the same way.

4. Make you feel like the worst writer ever. I just can't do that.

Okay, Peeps. Those are my terms. Any takers?

Again, critiques are CLOSED for now.