Nirvana

Chapter 32 : Midnight- turning point

Waking up is such a dread. Times were simpler when Arthur and I were little. Now we have to find ways to escape from reality. Atleast I don't have to convince dad to let me stay with Arthur, since he doesn't care about me.

" You done? my flat is 3 streets away. We'll won't be there for long. Ill get a job in the city or anywhere better than here. Ill enrol you in a school there as well." Arthur tells me sternly.

" It will be tricky enrolling me without dad. Just let me finish high school here, I only have one year left anyways."

" I will always be here for you from now on. So promise me you'll stop all this gang nonsense."

" Yeah I know, everyone's been hammering that into my face. I can see the consequences myself. Anyways let's go quickly now before school starts. It's the last day so dorms are gonna close soon... you got a zol?"

" You smoke?"

" I run a fucking drug cartel."

"You're beyond saving."

We go to dad's place to get my stuff. Hopefully It's the last time I will be here. Its messy and decrepit. I've barely been here after mom died. Opening a drawer I see a picture of mom, then of a different younger woman. I knew he was cheating. He leaves the house dressed to the nines; you wouldn't believe this is the state he lived in. as I leave I say goodbye to my childhood as I fully embrace the darkness.

Midday. I meet some friends for the last time this year or forever. In the change rooms. Muhni says he's transferring to a better school for metric. Kesha smooches with Josh while Letisha rants about being single. It's been so long that smoking with them feels nostalgic. I will miss them, these times. The bright blue summer sky, the cicadas, the taste of zol, women and alcohol, the slight breeze bringing in the scent of flowers, running on the grounds. I wish them the best for their futures, Letisha holds my arm before I walk away.

Afternoon. I show my grades to Jibrael. I've dropped from 7th to 19th. Jibrael knew devi was a traitor. But whether I was alive or not, whether he knew or not, what happened was inevitable. A soft sorrowful tune fills my head. Id like to believe id be able to leave this world.

Sunset. On the balcony with Ezra. The red sky amplifies my rage inside. I break down, I wish I could go back, not argue with my mom, value my time with her. Gave her hug, told her goodbye. That she'd never have to see me become a bad person. Ezra looks at me, disappointed.

" Finally feeling it huh? You can't go back, but you can still change and be good for those who don't deserve to be hurt. If you don't heal your wounds, you'll bleed on those who didn't cut you,"

" Nick did this to me, all of it. He planned it all" I say in words twisted by my rage." Come at me! that's what that cocky bastard is trying to say. Well I will. You destroyed my life, so ill destroy yours."

Ezra seems disappointed that I keep on blaming others for my own downfall. He can't change me now.

Iris is in the library. She sees nick walk in. he notices her sigh sadly.

" what's wrong, boyfriend problems?"

"Yeah..."

" With everything people are saying, wouldn't it be in your best interest to leave him".

" He wanted that too."

" So why didn't you? I've noticed talk about you'll stopped since you stopped going out together in public. Did it get awkward, and you stopped talking?"

" Yeah..."

" isn't he a pain. A blown-out fire. Isn't he holding you back. Don't you think you should let it go and focus on yourself. He doesn't deserve you. You've looked worse ever since he started giving you problems. It's affected your image badly didn't it? "

" Yeah... you're right. The sparks dead. Besides now that Asiyah's done with school, I need to step up as the queen of this school."

Nick hugs her. " don't worry, we all get over breakups eventually."

As twilight sets in, I walk the hallways towards the library to say talk to iris. I've made up my mind, I want to be with her. She walks out into the hallways.

"Iris let's get back together. Please I need you."

" I'm sorry... it won't work out between us. We just weren't meant to be... lets just be friends... but that probably won't work out either now... I'm sorry I can't be with you... goodbye".

She cries and runs off. I stand in agonizing silence, on the verge of weeping, I get punched in the face.

I lay flat on the floor, Isiah on top of me beating me up.

" How dare you! How dare you kill Eva you monster! Even though I just got back... even though I know not to trust nicks words... I know he wasn't lying! You really killed Eva! I liked her!" he continues screaming. I don't even have the willpower to move or reply. He gets angrier the less I respond. But he's right, I really am a monster, I feel not even a drop of guilt for Eva. The world fades black. It's the last time I will ever see him again. Such a shame we ended in this way. it was nice... those fun times we had. Ill never get to compete with you again.

I wake up at midnight in the exact same spot. I have one last job. I go to the smoker's inn, imagining the fun times Arthur had there at my age. The moonlight shines on me as I try to hide. Kyle sneaks up and chokes me. after a struggle, he's on his knees facing me, who is lying on the ground. I aim at his head and pull the trigger. Bham!

Ariel is in a bar in the red-light district, Solomons territory, now owned by nick. The red, blue and green neon LEDs and yellow fluorescent lights illuminate the dark room. as he drinks, a stripper questions him.

" Are you sure you wanna go down this path like a lone wolf. Its crossing the Rubicon you know."

" I like this song. Stay high..."

" Stop avoiding the question."

" Yes..." he mumbles depressingly.

" Well, nothing new honestly. You'd make a cute assassin."

Ariel giggles softly, his eyes sparkling as music drowns the room.

Bham! As kyles body falls, I see ariels silhouette in the dark behind him. We both shot kyle simultaneously. As the moonlight reveals ariels face, he mumbles to me.

" Michael... we need to talk."

He tells me everything that happened from his perspective.

" Kyle wasn't after you Michael. The one you should worry about is Neym. He's nicks most valuable piece."

" Thank you Ariel. You're the only one I can trust... you're irreplaceable,"