𝑳𝒂𝒃𝒚𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒉 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 - ᴀ ᴍᴀᴢᴇ ʀᴜɴɴᴇʀ ꜰᴀɴꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ

𝟷𝟸 - 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝-𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚢

A/N: This chapter includes trigger warnings for isolation and loneliness, self-harm, and verbal conflict.

I just wanna clarify that I am not using these struggles for "the plot" or to make it "spicier". It's a part of Wren's character development. I'm just putting this out here to avoid misunderstanding and to also spread awareness for other authors that it is kinda wrong to make their ocs experience these struggles even tho it has nothing to do with the plot. 

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That was fucking embarrassing, holy crap.

Crying in front of the mirror? Talking to myself? And he saw it all? Heard my sobs? That's embarrassing.

I head back to the Med-hut, feeling somehow calmer.

Yeah, because I just had to have a breakdown in front of the last person I wanted to see.

I peeked before I entered the Med-hut to see if they were still there. Good thing they're not anymore, and it was already late anyway. I glanced at Alby who seemed to be sleeping peacefully, looking better than earlier.

Afraid of those horrible thoughts returning, I grabbed scissors from the cabinet and cut the bandage on my arm. I'm just sick of it.

Peeling away the bandage, I was met with the ugly scar—an everyday reminder of my failure. The scar was closed, but the memory of that day was still fresh. No physical healing nor medicine could ever mend the deep, mental wounds.

I have a battle scar though. That's the only cool thing, I guess.

The stitches were already gone two weeks ago and the removal was twice as painful as the stitching process. I have no idea why that is.

I clenched and unclenched my fist, staring at my scar. Physically, it didn't hurt anymore, but mentally, it always would.

I kept zoning out, yet I'm hyperaware. I crave peace, but that's impossible. My mind was always loud, even when I wasn't thinking.

Everything I try to avoid happens. My plans always go awry.

How did I end up so pathetic? What happened to the cool, mysterious girl who was determined to escape without getting close to anyone?

It was 11 pm and I was in desperate need of a shower because I smelled horrid. The bandage on my arm had kept me from bathing for weeks. I fixed my cot, put the scissors back, discarded the bandage, and left the Med-hut.

I went to my bunker to grab my towel and the clothes I arrived in, but this time, cleaner. It was a good thing that we all had extra clothing so we could wash what we wore.

What sucks is we can't take a bath every day, just three times a week and it's crappy 'cuz 'Greenies' were always the last ones to use the showers. Meaning that Teresa and I had to force ourselves to bathe even with the lingering awful smells in the area.

Fun fucking times.

Also, I just realized that they seem to favor Teresa more. I mean, yes, understandable because she wasn't the killer girl.

And I'm not being jealous or anything, but I can't shake off the feeling that I am in this constant competition with her, which I genuinely don't understand. Because why would I feel that when I'm just so glad that she's with me here in the Glade?

Where did that even come from? I don't know, but being the only girls here, we need to stick together. And come on, she's really pretty, her black hair and pale skin really contrasted well. She wasn't rude or mean, she's the total opposite of me, and she's the most likable person around here.