𝑳𝒂𝒃𝒚𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒉 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 - ᴀ ᴍᴀᴢᴇ ʀᴜɴɴᴇʀ ꜰᴀɴꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ

𝟷𝟾 - 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Minho's eyes widened, clearly shaken by my words. His shoulders slumped further, his gaze searching mine for something I wasn't sure he could find. I held his gaze, letting the silence linger, waiting for him to say something—anything—that might make this easier.

"I don't," he began, his voice almost a whisper, "I didn't feel good about hurting you. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Then why did you?!" My voice cracked, raw with anger and pain.

I could see the struggle within him, the battle between his pride and something deeper, but I knew not to expect vulnerability.

"Then why did you say all those things if you never wanted to hurt me?' I pleaded. "Am I really a burden? Just a weak girl dragging you all down? Pathetic? Is that all I am to you?" Uncontrollable sobs escaped me, and through the flood of tears, I could barely see him.

"I know most of it's true, but please, Minho, you have to know I tried. I did my best. I tried not to let my problems drag me down, knowing they're nothing compared to yours, but I couldn't. I couldn't." My sobs grew more violent as I begged him. "I did my best, Minho. I really did. Please...you need to see that. You have to believe me."

I buried my face in my hands, the sobs getting relentless and I don't want him to see it directly.

Just then, I heard shuffling, then felt arms wrap around my shoulders and back, pulling me close to his chest.

That only made me cry harder. I didn't care how I looked to him anymore. He already saw me as someone weak, I might as well drop the tough act, right?

I tried my best to talk clearly against my hands, "I don't know what...what's going on anymore. Why does it have to be like this? Why am I...why am I like this?"

A moment of silence, thick with tension.

"It's unfair how I can only remember the bad things, when all I want it to be is good, to feel good," I said, once the sobs lessened. But tears still continued to fall down, flooding my hands.

"But I can't, because these dreams or memories keep haunting me. Like I deserve to have this in my mind. Like it has been planted in me. Like they wanted me to remember every bad thing that happened to me, to torture me."

I don't know what went through my mind but the words just kept spilling out of my mouth. It was too late to stop now.

"Now, it's making me think that maybe there was nothing actually good that happened in my life before this. Like I was born into it and it's all I've ever known since."

"I'm being a bad person right now and I don't even know why?" Shaking my head, I looked up at him, noticing his eyes welled up with tears. I frowned at the sight.

Why does it break me to see him tear up?

I avoided his eyes, looking down, "I don't know why I keep having these dreams or memories– I'm not even sure what it was at this point. It makes me act badly. Why can it control me, when I just want to be my real self? I don't know who I truly am, but I hope this isn't me."

My unstable breaths filled the air between us.

"Shucking hell, that's...a lot, Bean." He muttered softly as he caressed the back of my head, looking down at me with pity. His other arm was placed on my back, holding me in place, and acted as a support in case I fully broke down.

Which I did. I broke into a cry again, sobbing like a little girl against the hold of someone who felt so caring. And he did it so effortlessly.

I don't get how the guy who absolutely destroyed me can also comfort me with a simple hug without putting in so much effort.