Chapter 27

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I lay in bed weighing out the pros and cons. It's not as simple as it once was, I can't just get rid of him the way I originally set out to do. I toss and I turn but my mind refuses to settle "Asmodeus" I call out " yes my dear" he smiles that devilish smile, he's so handsome and I know he can still hear my thoughts. "What would it be like if I come with you? I ask truth be told I have nothing left here." I can make all your dreams come true" he strokes my cheek and u nuzzle my face further into his hand craving his touch. "What would that look like?" I enquire and he leans into kiss me but just before his lips touch mine, he whispers "this" our lips connect and I want to say I had butterflies but it felt more like elephants stomping around in my stomach, I crave him, everything about him. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer deepening the kiss as he climbs on top of me parting my legs, he lifts my top over my head as I help him and or lips reconnect for a moment before his kisses move from my lips to my neck, then down from my neck to my breasts, I moan as I fist at his messy hair. Then he moves from my breasts down across my stomach and in to my thighs, so close but not close enough "I need you" I beg and I feel his smile against me "not yet my dear, not yet" his breath tickles me so much my whole body shivers.
"Hey Bee can we talk?" Jasper knocks lightly on the door and I throw my head back with frustration as Asmodeus disappears "sure" I respond throwing my shirt back over my head as he opens the door and takes a seat on the edge of my bed. "Silas wanted me to give you this as a safety precaution" he says handing me a vile of blood "we can't lose you Bee" he continues and I hadn't even considered how Jasper would feel until now "you are the only person who has accepted me for me" he looks down as he fiddles with his fingers. "I'm going to do the right thing but whatever happens don't hide yourself away from the world, you will find people who love you just the way you are" I reassure him, he let's out a weak smile before he stands up and leaves. I look at the blood in my hand, I tip it upside down and then upright again,I contemplate taking it I really do. Hours go by, hours that I watch the blood, hours that I wonder.
The time has come.
With the sun beaming brightly onto the surface of the sea, I stand on the boat with a shiny blue stone in hand as Silas and Jasper watch on. A freshly sharpened blade sits ready in my other hand, ready to prick myself and draw blood. I place the stone at my feet and rest the sharp blade against my wrist, "just a small amount" Silas says and I look at him one more time before I turn the blade and drive it into my chest. It has been over twenty four hours since Silas brought me back to life, his blood is out of my system and I decided not to drink the vile. I know an injury this intense even his blood will not heal me fast enough. I feel my head smack against the cold surface of the deck and I watch Silas joined by Jasper run to my side. You might think I'm a fool and maybe I am, you might think I'm selfish and that's okay. As I feel the life drain from my body, as I watch Silas cry and as I hear him beg for me to come back, I'm glad I made the decision that I did. Silas will come to understand, I left him a letter that read,

Dear Silas,
I know this doesn't make sense right now,
maybe it never will but please know I care for you deeply that is why I have to go.
Asmodeus will never stop not until you stop him,
I give myself to him as a distraction,
I need you to destroy the book.
I know now that this is the only way,
too many people have been hurt because of me and I have lost so much that I am no longer the girl you fell for.
You deserve the world,
you deserve somebody who brings you peace,
not problems.
Please do not bring me back,
please do not grieve for me,
you have to let me go,
you have to let me let you go.
Love always
Beatrix

             

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