Sleepless (HIATUS)

08. decent amounts of confusion

"Sophie!" my mom exclaimed as she walked through the door. It was her first time home since she left in August, and the October air had stained her cheeks bright pink. Skies the colour of gunmetal, and crows crying loudly, it was a typical autumn day. My mother and sister hugged excitedly, making little noises and quickly beginning to converse about this and that. She then embraced me and Michael, and lugged in a huge sack of laundry.

"Oh, my god, you two have no idea how good you have it here," she sighed, her blonde beach waves bouncing. Michael made one of his usual remarks, and I just sat at the table, feeling rather complete. I loved my family. My father, not so much, but that didn't matter. He was still at work, then, anyways. We hadn't spoken since the night that we fought, and avoided each other. Derrick told me to forgive him. Andie told me to hit him back. Austin told me that it was okay, and that I should just clear my mind. That I didn't need my dad to make me feel like shit.

"So, Alan, what've you been up to?" Sophie asked, sitting down with me as our mother made dinner. I shrugged, smiling.

"Oh, he's been hanging out with the nicest boy!" Mom cooed, and I hung my head in defeat. She could not get over the idea that me and Derrick were together.

"Mom, please," I groaned.

"Who?" Sophie demanded. I sat back and listened to my mother describe Dare in full, speaking fondly of what a dedicated student he was, and how he was always helping me study for my ACT. I bit my lip, picturing him in his drug rug, trying to explain Algebra II to me. It was hilarious.

"Is he cute?" Sophie asked.

"Why is that the first thing everyone always asks? Why are you all so obsessed with looks?" My sister clicked her tongue at my response.

"So he's a 'good personality' kind of guy?" she said, smirking. My mom snickered. Maybe my life would've been easier if I just went with it. I mean, they would have no reason to be suspicious about me and Austin if I convinced everyone that I was with Derrick. Not that there was a reason to be suspicious. Our friendship was more mature than most people's, and I liked where we were at. Of course, my silly teenage heart often fought me on the 'platonic' part of it all, But that was to be expected. I couldn't... I couldn't let myself think about what I was missing out on. Looking him in the eye was still a problem. Letting my gaze wander anywhere else was even worse. So, yeah, things were dicey. But what else could I ask for?

"He's really cute," I mumbled through their laughter.

"What does he look like?" she asked quickly, eating it up the same way my mom did. I knew they only wanted my happiness, so I tried to not let it bother me that they were so invested in my life.

"Oh, Alan, just invite him over for dinner tonight," my mom suggested. Sophie squealed, and I basically listened to both of them squealing until I took my phone huffily and walked into the other room, dialing his number. I needed a little privacy. The living room was darker than the kitchen, and quieter. I breathed in the nothingness, and listened to it ring a few times before he answered.

"Yo yo yo!"

"Hey, Dare, can I ask you a favor?" I said.

"Yes, kiddo, what can I help you with?" His voice was so smooth and gentle. I knew I loved him. He was my best friend.

"Can you come over for dinner? My mom still thinks we're dating," I whispered, rolling my eyes and staring out the window at the steely sky. It was a flat, dull backdrop for the elegant, dancing orange leaves.

Derrick laughed for a long time. After he collected himself, he said, "Sure, sounds great, honey."

"I hate you."