"And lastly, I'd like to thank the person who took me under their wing and saw me for who I am; a shoe loving fanatic."
I look at Chris. He went from sulking to sitting up confidently in his seat. He actually thinks I'm talking about him... Good, I...
Warner must be next. I just know he is going to have the best entrance of all time. Leshawna, I know for a fact, is going to be excited. Gwen is probably going to sh1t her pants. She did completely ghost me, and there was that whole thing on "World Tour." She has so much she needs to answer to, and though I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready to have that discussion, I know Warner is, and I know Leshawna is, too.
"And now," Chris begins. "Our next contestant. He may not have competed on ''Total Drama,'' but he was all the drama behind the scenes. You may want to grab a snack for this one, and take a seat because-"
"Just tell us who it is!" Jo snaps.
"Ah, rude," Chris complains. "Any who... Introducing, talent manager and bagel connoisseur, give it up for... Warner Bradley!"
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It goes quiet for a moment. Even I hold my breath.
"You've got to be kidding me!" Heather finally says.
"Awesome," Day says happily, and Trent agrees.
Everyone gasps, and I think Sierra just had a stroke.
"My 'Total Drama' fan club, they're going to explode- I'm going to explode!" She says excitingly.
I didn't think it were possible, but Gwen's face turns even more pale, and Duncan looks constipated. I watch as Gwen, Duncan, even Courtney look at each other worryingly. The camera Zooms in on Duncan's face. I know that look. He scrunches his nose when he's upset, and yeah, he's definitely upset. I would be lying if said I'm not enjoying this, because I am. They look absolutely petrified.
Warner struts down the beach onto the dock. No way, they even gave him a slow-mo edit! And they added music. You know that song they played in "Twilight" when they were all playing baseball? Yeah, that song. And he even glimmers like a vampire in the sun!
"Surprise, b1tches!" He says, then strikes a pose.
"Hey, babes," Leshawna welcomes him, and the two embrace. "Looking good!"
"Hey, man," Trent welcomes him as well.
"It's good to see you, it's been awhile," Day says kindly.
"Warner, welcome to Camp Wawanakwa," Chris tells him. "I've missed you, dude."
"Really? Because I haven't missed you, like at all," he replies, his smile never leaving his face.
"And that, folks, is your season five cast-"
"Wait a second," Heather interrupts. "You said there are 16 contestants."
"Yeah," Scott agrees. "This doesn't look like 16 to me."
"Ugh, fiiiine," Chris says annoyed. "If it's that important to you, we'll add the Drama Machine."
An old, rusty, run down robot clank's it's way onto the dock. It wheels its way over to the contestants, parking near Heather. She looks at it with disgust.
