Hold On

Chapter 1

  A/N: If you haven't yet- READ THE WARNINGS IN STORY DESCRIPTION!!

  There was no warning when the girl had jumped off the roof of the school. She didn't scream, she didn't yell for anyone to move, she didn't even cry- she just let gravity take her plummeting to the ground. 

  It was during the lunch period a few days before, she was in Hinata's class. He could recall asking her for a pencil or for the notes every so often when he fell asleep, but why hadn't he been able to recall her name? She had friends, anyone could pick them out the day she jumped. They were sobbing and screaming- the pain in their voice wasn't something Shouyou could get out of his head. When she hit the ground, he could recall the sound of her bones breaking and blood splattering, she landed in front of him and he had moved forward to see if he could help her, but made a mistake by meeting her eyes. She didn't die fast, she was still dying when he saw her, he watched the light fade from her eyes.

  Suga and Asahi were by his side first, he couldn't remember what Suga had said to him, probably something to make him rejoice with reality, but he was frozen. He was stuck staring at the girl, he didn't have time to wonder why they were trying to get him and not help her. He remembered Asahi wrapping an arm around him and carrying him to the gym. He didn't say anything to the team that day, he was still numb when Suga took a wet towel to his face, getting rid of blood that had sprayed on him. He wanted to argue with his upperclassmen when Noya and Suga took off his school jacket and talked him into different shorts, what he had on was fine- He didn't even notice the red. Daichi had let them go home early. He could recall Kageyama walking a bit closer to his house than he normally walked, before turning around without a word and walked back. He figured he got stuck in his own little world.

  When he got home, the scene replayed itself a hundred times in his head. Why had she jumped where he was walking? Why when he was the only person that was close enough to spot her when she hit the ground? The more he thought about the incident, the harder he found it to not cry. It wasn't until he started to fall asleep that he knew what her last words were and they had been directed towards him. 'Help me.'

-

  For a few days after, that first day repeated itself. He found it harder and harder to smile for the team. He always felt tired, he couldn't do the fast attack with Kageyama anymore, he felt so drained. His mind was so numb, he ended up spacing out during practice, being hit more than a few times with the ball. Coach had him sit out practice one day and he found himself outside by the fence, curled up in the shade. Why wasn't he worried about losing his spot on the court anymore? What was wrong with him? When did he become so useless? He cried until Suga appeared in front of him, and he walked past the older male without a word.

  No one in the school would go onto the roofs after the incident, staff or student. It wasn't everyday something like that would happen. Hinata on the other hand, he found himself on the same roof the girl had jumped off of, looking over the edge as he sat with his feet dangling and arms wrapped securely around the railing. Why was he there? He had no clue. Hinata simply stared at the pavement below him, wondering how easy it would be to just... jump.

  When the door behind him opened, his entry body stiffened in alert. "Hinata..?" The voice that came from behind him was what surprised him the most. He had expected Suga or Daichi, maybe even Noya and Tanaka. Not him. Not the one person who he would jump just to avoid his attempt at encouragement. "Are you okay?" Kageyama's voice cracked a bit, obviously not use to having to comfort people in the way he was probably being forced to at the moment.

  "I'm fine. I'm just thinking, Kageyama. You can go back inside if you want." The decoy expected Kageyama to stick his tail between his legs and take off, not to take a seat next to him with his usual milk in hand.

  "Idiot. If I didn't want to be up here with you, I wouldn't be here... What are you thinking about?"

  "Just... Stuff..." Hinata kept his eyes forward, not wanting to look at Kageyama when he was on the verge of tears. "I can't really explain it. I've been thinking, but when I try to remember what I was thinking about... I just kinda draw a blank..."

  Kageyama was quite and Hinata was pretty sure he had left until he felt a hand on his back, he turned to meet the setter's eyes. "Sho- Hinata... the team's worried about you... I'm worried about you. I haven't seen you smile in a week... I'm worried, I don't want you to be upset. If you just talk to someone then maybe-"

  "Is that why you're here? Because the team forced you to come talk to me? Look, I don't want to bother you with my problems if you don't want to be here just go." Hinata stood up from his spot, walking to the centre of the roof. The thought of jumping was to welcoming for him. He only stared at the cement under his feet, not noticing that Kageyama had stood up after him.

  "You really are an idiot."

  "I heard you the first time, Ka-" He was cut off when he was turned around, his eyes widening as he was pulled into his setter's chest. One of Kageyama's hands were pressed against Hinata's head, keeping him close as the other was wrapped against his upper back.

  "I already told you, I wouldn't be up here with you if I didn't want to be. I want to see you smile again, I want to hear that stupid laugh of you have, and I don't like seeing you upset... Just talk to me, the team, someone, anyone. Hinata, I'm begging you to be yourself again." He was frozen. He could here Kageyama's heart thumping in his chest, it was so calming. He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve Kageyama's words, his tosses, his anything.

  So, he pushed him away and ran off down the stairs. Kageyama called after him, but he kept running. He had to get out of there, he had to leave. School was over anyway so, he just ran to his bike and got on it, pedalling like his life depended on it. As far as Hinata concerned, it did.