How could we?

Chapter 53

Fatima POV:

My heart feels like it's being torn in two as I watch Zac crumble in front of me. I want to tell him it's going to be okay, that we'll figure it out, but the words won't come. They get stuck somewhere between my mind and my mouth because... is it really going to be okay?

I mean Mani... he looks so much like Zac. I've always thought that. But now, with this doubt, I wonder if I've just been seeing what I wanted to see. Maybe I'm just convincing myself that Mani is Zac's because that's what I want for him, for us. But if he's not... what does that mean for Zac? For Mani? For us? I can't bare the thought of losing him, I'm too attached. Mani is like my own child now, and thinking of him being Derwin's, of Zac having to deal with that... it shatters me.

And Malaysia... what kind of woman does this? What kind of mother creates this kind of chaos? I can't wrap my head around it, and the anger bubbles up inside me, but I push it down. Right now, Zac needs me to be strong. I hold his hand tighter, willing him to feel my strength even though I feel like I'm barely holding it together myself.

Fatima: Zac... we're going to get through this.

I make sure my voice is steady, even though my heart's breaking. He has to hold onto my words because if nothing else, we have each other.

Fatima: I don't know how yet, but we will. If there's nothing else you can hold on to right now, then hold on to me, to my words. We'll figure this out. Together.

He looks at me, and I see the doubt in his eyes, but I need him to believe me.

Fatima: Hold onto that, okay?

Zac squeezes my hand, and I catch the tear that slips down his face. It's so rare to see him like this—vulnerable—and it breaks my heart even more. I gently wipe the tear away, pulling him into my arms.

Fatima: Ahhw, Zac... come here.

He sinks into my embrace, and I hold him tight, wishing I could absorb all his pain. I can feel the weight of everything he's carrying, and it's crushing me. When he starts talking about the test for Mani, his voice is sharp, almost dangerous.

Zac: I'll get H here in the morning before Mani goes to school. The sooner we get him tested, the sooner we can move forward. I'm sick of playing the long game. Malaysia and Derwin have gotten away with a lot—fuck the long game. I'm taking over that operation.

His tone is hard, full of determination, and I know there's no reasoning with him when he gets like this. He's too deep in it, too consumed by the need to control what he can. My heart races, but I stay quiet. Arguing with him now will only fuel the fire. Dr. H is the only one who can possibly talk him down from this, but that's for tomorrow. Tonight, my only mission is to get him to bed, to give him some kind of peace, even if it's just for a few hours. I pull back from the hug, looking into his eyes.

Fatima: Come on, let's get some rest. We'll figure it out in the morning.

He hesitates but doesn't fight me, letting me guide him to bed. For now, this is enough. Before Zac climbs into bed, I watch him pull out his phone and quickly type out a message to Dr. H, asking him to come by first thing in the morning for Mani's DNA test. I know he wants this done as soon as possible—waiting is only going to make things worse.

Fatima: Babe, maybe you should eat something before we sleep?

I suggest gently, hoping it might help him relax even just a little.

Zac: (shaking his head) I'm fine, babe. Let's get some rest.

I don't push him further. We climb into bed, and I stay close, letting my presence offer him whatever comfort I can. Zac's body is tense beside me, his mind clearly still racing, but I hold him close, hoping that the quiet of the night will bring him some peace. My own thoughts are swirling, but I try to push them aside. Tomorrow will bring its own challenges, but for now, all I can do is be here for him. I squeeze his hand gently, silently reassuring him that we'll face whatever comes together. Eventually, we both drift off, though sleep feels fragile, like it's just a temporary escape from everything looming over us.