Butterfly Stories - Trivia & More

Instagram Overload

You know what's wild these days? Social media. It's like the digital version of speed dating but with every human being on Earth.

Instagram has taken it to a whole new level. Every time I log in, it's like they're desperate for me to say something—anything! 'Add a comment here!' 'Reply to a comment there!' 'Leave a note!' I'm like, is this Instagram or my high school yearbook?

Seriously, there's so much pressure to interact! I mean, I thought social media was supposed to be social, but now it feels like I'm at a job interview for the position of 'Professional Commentator'! Instagram's like, 'Please add your opinion on this picture of your friend's lunch.' I'm like, 'It's a sandwich, Mona. I'm not writing a food blog.'

And what's up with these 'notes' now? It's like a little text box they threw at the top of your messages, just so you can write... I don't know... cryptic poems or passive-aggressive song lyrics? Instagram's like, 'Hey, why don't you just jot down your inner monologue for the whole world to see?' And I'm thinking, 'My inner monologue is just me arguing with myself about whether I should have ice cream or pizza for dinner. Do people need to read that?'

And then there's the stories, the reels, the IGTV, the close friends list—I'm like, am I supposed to be Steven Spielberg, making content for every format? When did Instagram become a full-time job?!

You know, for someone who's not active on social media, this feels like torture. I feel like I'm being interrogated by my phone. 'Why didn't you react to this post? You didn't like it enough to double-tap?' And I'm like, 'Because I've got other things to do, Instagram! Like, I don't know, live a life?'

Then they ask, 'Are you interested in posts like this?' I say no, and what does Instagram do? It shows me the same thing with a different hashtag. 'Healthy Living Tips.' Yeah, right. The only healthy living tip I need is to stop snacking while scrolling!

And the influencers, oh my god! There's always that one travel influencer who's living the '#Wanderlust' life. They're always in the Maldives, drinking coconut water, saying, 'Just pack your bags and go!' Sure, I'll just pack my bags... and go to my living room, because that's the only trip my budget allows!

Fitness influencers are no better. They're like, 'Do this 5-minute workout and get abs!' I try it, and I'm like, '5 minutes? It took me 5 seconds to realize this is not happening!'

I just miss the days when social media was simple. Remember when Facebook was just pokes? No algorithms, no pressure to create, no stories, no notes. You just poked someone, and that was it. Simpler times. Now, it's like a full-contact sport. Instagram's basically saying, 'Engage or perish!'

And sometimes they show me random posts that make no sense! Like a meme of a girl holding a cucumber in the kitchen, with the caption, 'Healthy choices.' I'm like, 'Healthy? Yes. But there are different definitions of healthy, right?'

The notifications are nonstop. 'Guess who just posted?' I don't know, Instagram—guess who's about to mute you?

Instagram filters are like makeup for photos. You start with a picture of a sad sandwich, and after a few swipes, it's a gourmet meal. I'm like, 'Wow, maybe I should use Valencia on my life decisions too!'

People on Instagram use hashtags like they're casting a spell: #MondayMotivation #Blessed #LivingMyBestLife. Meanwhile, my most-used hashtag is #WhyAmIHere

There's always that one relative on Instagram you wish you could ignore, right? The one who comments on everything like they're narrating a daily soap. 'Nice photo, beta! Looking very smart!' And then, 'Where's the baby? Show us the baby!' I'm like, 'Aunty, the baby's not on a world tour, she is just napping!'

And then she DMs me, 'Beta, why didn't you like my photo?' I'm like, 'Aunty, I'm still recovering from your 17 comments on my last post!' Instagram needs a 'Hide from Relatives' button, or at least a 'Aunty Detox' filter!

Anyway, so now, when I log in, I just start laughing. Because everywhere I look, Instagram is just screaming, 'Do something! Say something!' And I'm like, 'Chill, Instagram! Not everything needs my opinion! Sometimes, silence is golden!'

But, if Instagram's listening... maybe add a feature where I can send in a doctor's note excusing me from mandatory participation... You know, like, 'Sorry, can't comment today, I'm on a social media cleanse.'