Just Sh*t: A New York City Story

Chapter 30: Drip or Drown

As Jamie left the office, he took a deep, confident breath, straightening his posture as if it would help him blend in more seamlessly. But as soon as he hit the hallway, he felt every pair of eyes on him. Kids were everywhere, some leaning against the lockers, others in small groups, chatting and joking. The moment they saw him, a ripple of whispers and suppressed laughter followed his every step.

"Yo, who's that?" one kid muttered under his breath.

"Man, he lost or something?" another one snickered.

Jamie kept walking, trying to ignore the burning feeling of their eyes boring into him. *Be cool,* he told himself. *You've got this.* His feet felt heavy as he finally reached the classroom door, the number staring him down like it was a test he hadn't studied for. He adjusted his shirt, inhaled one last time, and pushed the door open with more energy than he intended.

"Good morning, class!" he boomed, stepping into the room.

Twenty pairs of 6th-grade eyes swiveled toward him, silent, watchful, and unnervingly respectful. They were all sitting up straight, hands folded neatly on their desks, as if they had been trained in some kind of military-style discipline. Jamie blinked. This was not what he expected. Where was the chaos? The backtalk? The uncontrollable energy of preteens hyped up on sugar and boredom?

"Uh, I'm Mr. Jamie... I mean, Mr.  Brooks," he said, recovering from his awkward intro. "And, well, I'm your substitute teacher for today."

The silence in the room was deafening. Jamie shifted on his feet, feeling the air in the classroom grow stiff and stale. The kids were waiting, all of them, like soldiers waiting for their orders. Their eyes were wide, alert, yet unmoving.

"Right, so..." Jamie tried to lighten the mood, forcing a smile. "Let's break the ice a little. Who here has a favorite animal?"

Crickets. Not a single hand moved.

Jamie chuckled nervously, quickly switching tactics. "Alright, uh, how about a joke? What do you call a fish with no eyes?"

A couple of kids blinked. The silence stretched longer. Jamie cleared his throat. "Uh... Fsh!" he said, making a dramatic noise and flapping his hands.

Still nothing. Not even a giggle.

He was dying up here. It felt like the world's longest minute. Jamie wiped the sweat forming on the back of his neck and desperately searched for another lifeline. Then, it hit him.

"Hey, anyone here use TikTok?"

It was

like flipping a switch. The once quiet, dead-eyed classroom suddenly came alive.

"OH MY GOD, TikTok!"

"Yeah, I follow this one account—"

"Did you see the new trend where—"

Suddenly, every kid was talking at once, a cacophony of voices exploding in every corner of the room. Hands shot up, but no one waited to be called on. They were buzzing, their energy bouncing off the walls, as if the mere mention of TikTok had sparked an uncontrollable surge of enthusiasm.

Jamie blinked, trying to keep up with the tidal wave of noise. His attempt to rein it in—"Whoa, whoa, one at a time!"—was completely drowned out by the chatter. But he wasn't about to fight it. At least they were engaged now.

"Alright, alright, what's the latest TikTok trend then?" he asked, his hands raised in surrender, trying to play along.

A girl in the front row, who had been practically vibrating with excitement, nearly jumped out of her seat. "It's all about this new filter! It like, gives you these crazy anime eyes, and everyone's using it!"

Another boy chimed in, "Nah, that's old. It's all about that 'Glazed' trend now, where you, like, prank your friends with this gross glazed donut that has toothpaste in it."

Jamie furrowed his brow. "Glazed? Toothpaste donuts? That's... a thing?"

"Yeah, duh," said a kid from the back. "You just pretend it's a regular donut, and then when they take a bite, it's full of toothpaste. It's hilarious."

He tried to picture it but just ended up feeling mildly nauseated. "Okay, so what else is trending?" Jamie asked, pretending to jot down notes on the board. He figured if he kept the conversation flowing, they'd think he was cool. At least, cooler than a regular teacher.

"That's so sus," said one kid in the middle of the room.

Jamie paused mid-writing. "Wait, sus? What's that mean?"

The kids looked at him like he had just crawled out from under a rock. "Sus means suspicious, Mr.  Brooks," a boy explained slowly, as though talking to a very old man. "You know, like, if something seems shady or off, it's sus."

"Oh, right, right. Got it. Sus," Jamie nodded, trying to store the word in his mental dictionary. He was learning fast. "Okay, what else?"

"There's this celebrity beef going on right now," a girl said, her eyes wide with excitement. "You know, between Paige and Lyric. Everyone's talking about it."

"Paige and Lyric?" Jamie echoed, blinking. "Who's that?"

"Mr.  Brooks, how do you not know? They're the biggest influencers right now! It's all over social media. They're fighting because Paige said Lyric's outfit was 'mid,' but everyone knows Lyric's drip is on point."

Jamie's brain was struggling to keep up. "Drip? Mid? What's—what's mid?"

"Mid means average, like, not great," a kid from the back said, clearly exasperated. "And drip is your style, like how you dress."

"Ohhh, okay," Jamie said, nodding like he totally understood. But inside, he was spiraling. *Mid? Drip? Sus? How many new words did these kids have?*

The conversation turned into a full-blown debate about celebrity drama, fashion, and whatever else was blowing up on social media that week. Jamie tried to keep up, occasionally chiming in with, "Oh yeah, I saw that!" even though he was hopelessly out of his depth.

At one point, a kid started explaining "glazed" in more detail, and Jamie thought for sure he was just making things up at this point. But the rest of the class nodded along like it was common knowledge, and Jamie just accepted his fate. He was never going to fully understand this new-age lingo.

By the midday, Jamie hadn't taught a single math or history lesson. Instead, he had been schooled in TikTok trends, slang, and influencer feuds. The kids had even pulled up their phones to show him videos, and despite the fact that he was supposed to be in charge, Jamie found himself genuinely curious about some of the absurd things they were showing him.

As the lunch bell rang, Jamie collapsed into his chair, mentally exhausted. The kids filed out, chatting amongst themselves about who would be the next big TikTok star and who had the best "glazed" prank video.

One of the kids lingered for a moment, looking up at Jamie. "You're alright, Mr.  Brooks. You're not like other subs."

Jamie smiled, tired but somewhat proud. "Thanks. I'll take that as a compliment."

As the student left, Jamie leaned back in his chair and sighed. He hadn't exactly stuck to the lesson plan, but he had survived. And he'd learned more about TikTok and Gen Z slang than he ever thought he would.

*Well, at least they didn't call me mid,* he thought, chuckling to himself.