Squib On The Run (sequel to Squib In The basement)

16. Stop And Listen

**TW- mentions of SA and child abuse**

Lucius stared at Narcissa for a few moments, before realising that she was being serious.
With a deep sigh, he headed for the table and sat down at one of the seats Cassiopeia hadn't thrown at him.
Narcissa took an empty seat next to him, before looking expectantly up at Cassiopeia.
"You can't be serious" frowned Cassiopeia as she folded her arms.
"I am. We are a family, and we need to sort this mess out, so that we can all move on with our lives" replied Narcissa.
"I'm not just going to sit down and have a civil conversation with my rapist. Especially when I have nothing to apologise for" snapped Cassiopeia.

"Don't forget that you are the one who broke into my house in the middle of the night, and trashed my library" pointed out Narcissa.
"I only snuck in, because I wanted to research the Chamber of Secrets, in order to keep both of my godsons safe. And I only started throwing your furniture around when your monster of a husband started telling me how much he enjoyed fucking me while I was unconscious. Apparently he still remembers exactly what I look like naked, and how I tasted, all those years ago" spat Cassiopeia.

Narcissa frowned at Lucius, "Is this true?".
"I may have lied and exaggerated a little, but that's only because she was shouting at me. You know how much she winds me up, and pushes my buttons. I only said what I did, to make her angry" insisted Lucius.
"Well, as your wife, I don't particularly appreciate you talking about, or thinking about another woman's body. Especially as the woman in question, is my cousin" replied Narcissa.
"Don't worry, it won't happen again, you have my word".

Cassiopeia scoffed, "Like anyone can trust the word of a death eater".
"Name calling is not going to get us anywhere... Look, I think that sitting down and talking about your feelings, is exactly what you need right now. You've shouted at Lucius, and allowed all of your rage out, but now it's time for you to calmly tell him how you feel. You need to let him know how his actions affected you, without yelling at him" informed Narcissa.
"He knows full well how his actions affected me, as he was there. He knows what he did" replied Cassiopeia.
"Actually, I don't think that he does. He has no idea what happened between you and your mother. He doesn't know what led to her asking him to impregnate you. And he has no idea what happened after he left you that night. As a man, he has no idea how hard it is to be a pure-blood woman. You need to tell him" encouraged Narcissa.

"Fine" Cassiopeia said curtly, before kicking one of the chairs out from under the table, so that she could sit down opposite Lucius and Narcissa.
"Do I get a chance to defend myself? Of do I just have to sit here and listen to all the hate she is going to hurl at me?" Questioned Lucius.
"You will get the chance to talk. But right now, I want you to just stop and listen to what Cass has to say" answered Narcissa.
"I don't know why I should have to".

"You are doing this, because you owe me. Don't forget, that not only did you assault my cousin, but in doing so you cheated on me" reminded Narcissa.
"I didn't mean to be unfaithful to you, my love. But you know Walburga was like. She was a hard woman to say no to" admitted Lucius.
"I'm sure that if you had wanted to, you could have found the will to refuse her. But right now we are not talking about you. You'll get your chance to speak later... So, Cassie, go ahead" encouraged Narcissa.

"I'm not sure where to start. I don't know how much Lucius knows about my childhood" mumbled Cassiopeia.
"Just assume that I know nothing" sighed Lucius.
"Alright, well, my life was pretty shit, right from the start. My mother would beat me and my siblings for the slightest acts of disobedience. She would even use dark magic and Unforgivable Curses on us, to correct our behaviour" revealed Cassiopeia.
"I always knew she was rather cruel and slightly unbalanced. But I can't believe that she would use the Cruciatus Curse on her own children".

"The torture spell was a particular favourite of hers. But please stop speaking, for now is not your time to talk, it's mine, and I have a lot to say... When my mother realised I was a Squib, she took my punishments to extreme levels, to try and coax some magic out of me. But nothing she did had any affect, so in the end she decided to just lock me in the basement. Out of sight, and out of mind. I spent more time in that horrible basement, than I did my own bedroom. Eventually though, my mother gave up on me, and decided to kill me. She poisoned my food gradually over time, hoping to make my death not seem suspicious. Luckily Regulus got wind of what she was up to, and told Sirius, so he could come and rescue me. This was when Sirius and I left the Black family. I thought I was finally free of my mother... But she had one more trick up her sleeve" admitted Cassiopeia.

She took a deep breath and remembered the day she had been tricked into going to the Ministry.
Losing James and Lily had felt like the end of the world, but when Cassiopeia was dragged back to 12 Grimmauld Place, by Ministry officials, she really felt like she had ended up in hell.
"My mother told the Ministry that I was a half-wit, who couldn't look after herself, and I was forced back to Grimmauld Place, against my will. Mother told me that if I followed her rules, and played the perfect daughter, then she wouldn't have to go through with her evil plan to impregnate me and take my child to raise as her own. I was terrified of her, so I did as I was told. I had hoped to escape before she married me off to some pure-blood. But when Bellatrix was imprisoned in Azkaban, my mother decided that she couldn't wait any longer. She needed a Black heir. And that was where you came in" continued Cassiopeia.

"You don't have to go on, I know what happened next" said Lucius uncomfortably.
"Oh, you do, do you? So you know how terrified I was when my mother revealed that she had drugged my food, and that you were going to rape me while I was unconscious? I fought against that sleeping potion, with everything I had, but it still wasn't enough. The last thing I remember was your stupid blonde hair falling into my face, and me being unable to move it, as I had no control over my limbs anymore... When I woke up, my body felt strange, like it was no longer mine. I was in pain, and covered in blood. I was disoriented, as the sleeping potion had made my head feel all woozy. I felt more afraid than I ever had in my entire life. After putting all the pieces together, and realising what you had done to me, I ended up throwing up in disgust... In that moment, I just wanted to die" revealed Cassiopeia.

"I sort've hoped that since you were unconscious, you wouldn't have any memories of the event" mumbled Lucius.
"Just because I was asleep when you raped me, it doesn't mean that I don't have regular nightmares about that day. I remember the before and after, all the time. I frequently remember the pain I felt when I woke up, back in that basement. I remember banging on the door so much, trying to escape, that my knuckles bled. I remember sitting in darkness for 9 months, slowly forgetting what happiness was. And I will never forget going into labour all by myself, with no one to help me through my pain... Even though I didn't get to have him for long, I have never forgotten the time that my baby boy spent in my arms. Nor will I forget my mother pulling him from me, and kicking me out into the street. She didn't deserve to live, which is why I had to kill her. I wanted my little boy to have a happy life, which is why I had to get him away from her. I thought that poison was the best way to kill my mother, since I can't use magic. But if I had known that using poison would kill Alfie as well, then I would have found another way to kill Walburga" informed Cassiopeia.

"What happened to you was awful, I'm not denying it. But it wasn't all my fault. Walburga would have just found someone else to rape you, if I had refused. You still would have suffered, with or without me" insisted Lucius.
"I would have, yes. But since you were the one who agreed to do it, it means that you are the one who is responsible for my pain" replied Cassiopeia.
"Walburga is the one you should be angry at, not me. Since the plan was entirely hers" reminded Lucius.
"Don't worry, I still hate her a lot more than I hate you. She is the worst person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. But just because it was her idea, it doesn't mean you are not also at fault".

"Cassie is right. Walburga may have been the mastermind behind the act. But you were the one who went along with it. You raped Cassiopeia" said Narcissa.
"I know! I know what I did. But stop making me out to be the villian of the story, when I only did it because of you!" revealed Lucius.