ACCEPTING 'US'

18.

As days passed Shyam's mind started making ideas and plans on how to deal with the interest amount. He thought of various aspects to return the interest and came up with only an option. It's risky but he knows that if he keeps postponing, interest increases further causing him much trouble.
" Maa I decided what to do about paying interest to zamindar sahab " shyam said to Devamma one evening while plucking vegetables. It was already time for them to go to the market with vegetables to sell so he decided to tell his mother his decision.
His mother helped him in many ways throughout his life and for once he wants to take risks and do as his heart wishes. He is well aware that if anything goes wrong there will be nothing left for them, not even food. But shyam was confident that he will be able to compensate with something or the other. He just wants both women to be supportive of him and help him achieve his goal.
" And how will you do that shyama? " She asked looking confused at him.
" I will pay the interest by giving the money to him " he said.
" And from where will you get such money? " She asked furrowing her brows.
" I decided to pay his money. And that will be the money from the yield we get. I am not going to keep any money with me. The whole profits and capital amount will be given to him as interest " he said to which Devamma gasped.
" How is that possible shyama? If you give the whole amount to him then who will give you money to start your next seed in the field? How will you manage to get such money without anything in hand? " She asked further.
" Nothing ma. We will first clear the interest amount. I know that we will be left with nothing if I do that but I think that is the best solution to stop from increasing the interest. I will think about something till the monsoon ends. You don't worry " he said with tears brimming his eyes. Devamma observed how his son was controlling his tears and her own eyes filled with tears. She never saw him helpless before but this decision of his proved how much he valued for his words. He was always hardworking and kept his words and as promised he is willing to give interest in given time but what he is not understanding is how will he pay the capital amount to zamindar?
" Beta I know what you must be going through but trust me there will be more problems if we do as you wish. We will think of an alternative shyama. Don't take decisions in haste. We will try to talk to zamindar sahab and ask him to give us some more time " she said placing her hand on his shoulder.
" No ma. As I said we will come up with an alternative till monsoon ends but for now let us clear the interest " he said and got up with the basket with vegetables.
Devamma saw his son departing the house. She can see how his son changed over years. His strong ability to not back off is what made them a place in the society. With that determination he managed to finish the debt on house and it belonged to them now. And now the debt must be cleared for their field for which he decided to give the complete yield amount to him. Her heart ached to see her son work so hard to make ends meet. If this debt is also cleared then she will be at peace.
Sudha overheard their conversation and understood why her husband was being so overly distracted for a few days now. She didn't know that this is the situation. She want to help her husband in any way she could but she was not sure how she could confess him about herself. She was upset that her husband decided to not keep any money from the yield.
Shyam went to market and sold the vegetables. When he returned back home he saw his mother talking with sudha about something. When the both women saw him they started to place the food to have dinner. Shyam went to freshen up and came back after few moments. Unlike routine nobody spoke anything and it felt like there was no one in the room who were willing to break the ice and start the conversation.
" Maaji why aren't you eating? " Sudha asked to which she just shook her head and finished her meal.
In bedroom shyam laid with his head on the pillow but his mind was occupied with thousands of feelings and questions.
It was again a rainy day and it was pouring outside. Sudha finished her chores and entered her room to see her husband deep in thoughts. She sat near his feet and started pressing his feet. Shyam immediately got up taking his legs away but she held them.
" Sudha why are you doing this? Did I ask you to? " He asked placing his hands on her shoulders.
" No, but I want to " she said looking at him.
" You don't have to " he said and and was about to take his feet away from her lap.
" I am your wife and I have every right to do. And you don't have right to stop me " she said cutting the tension between the room. Shyam chuckled at her and sudha smiled that she was able to bring smile on his face.
While both were laughing power went off and there was complete darkness. Sudha held his hand and assured him that she was alright.
" Wait I will bring a candle " shyam said.
" No no you sit I will bring " she said and got up. She went to kitchen slowly and took a candle and lightened it. Devamma also took a candle with her to her room. Sudha carefully came back to room with candle and put her left hand around the flame not allowing it to go off due to air blowing.
Shyam looked at her walking slowly towards him. Her walk was not usual because of her condition but she managed to bring the candle with utmost care. The lightness of the candle was bringing a shine in her face which made shyam forget the world around. He slowly approached her and stood in front of her. Both looked at eachother and sudha's heart started beating fast. Shyam took the candle and kept it aside. He held her by shoulders and made her sit in the bed. Sudha was aware of the situation. Her hands became sweaty and the room felt hot suddenly. He sat on her right side and opened her hair. He moved his hand in her tresses until they were open and sudha gasped when he pulled few strands of hair.
He smelled them and a satisfied sigh left his lips. He placed his right hand on her left cheek and made her look towards him. She looked in his eyes and got shy. She looked down. Shyam kissed her eyes, nose and cheeks. He moved his lips towards her and sudha was looking at his lips waiting. Shyam looked at her eyes and the way she was staring at him. He made her place her hands on his chest. She moved her hands towards his neck. She closed her eyes when his lips approached her.
" Sudha look at me " he said when he was about to touch her lips. When she opened her eyes he touched his lips with hers. A jolt of electricity passed between both of them. Sudha looked into his eyes and the intensity they held made her close her legs tight as there was something building up there. Shyam kept kissing her lips by placing his one hand on her neck and other on her waist. He felt his heart explode with the amount of pleasure he was feeling and the speed with which it was beating. He was lost in the kiss and closed his eyes.
Eventually he separated his lips from her and placed his forehead on hers. He was out of breath and kept taking deep breaths to calm down his racing heart. Sudha's condition was no less than a mess. Her heart was thumping hard and her cheeks flushed with blushing. And the sensation between her legs felt foreign but inviting. She was confused and grateful at the same time for experiencing such fantastic moment with her husband.
" Sudha you make me feel things that I don't know existed. You make me feel alive. You make every fibre of my body to wake up. You make me lose my control. You are the one who make me feel so damn hot that... " He was about to say ' that I want to fuck you hard right now ' but resisted himself from saying so.
Sudha on other side was blushing hard trying to remember each word he said. She was sure she will forget if she is too engrossed in the feeling of his lips on hers.
He hugged her tightly not able to control himself and she reciprocated the hug by placing her head on his chest. She could hear how fast his heart beat is.
Both of them slept after a few minutes contended with the special moment. Shyam saw her sleeping peacefully on his chest while he was deeply thinking how he was so lucky to have her.
Next morning the same chores continued and sudha wanted to tell her husband that she could help him financially. When he came in room to kiss her, she was in front of bed thinking about how to tell him about the financial things.
Before she could utter any word he pressed his lips onto hers and she got lost. She held his collar to stop herself from falling. He kissed her passionately and left when she was out of breath.
" See you in afternoon " he said and was about to leave her.
" I need to tell you something " she said holding his hand.
" About what? " He asked holding her both hands and kissing them. Sudha blushed at his act but shook her head to talk to him first.
" I...I heard you talking to maaji about financial disturbances going on " she said.
" So? " He questioned.
" I...I can actually help you " she said pressing her lips together waiting for his answer.
He understood she want to help him. She wanted to help him through his father. He don't want to take help from his father in law in any way. He don't want to show anyone about his problems. He just want to help himself and if that comes from other sources he don't want to take help.
" No sudha we are not going to ask your father for help " he said placing his hand on her shoulder.
" I know you want to help me but I don't want it from your father. I am sorry sudha " he said and exited the room.
Sudha understood that her husband don't want to take help from her father and that is valid. But she wants to help him not through his father, she herself want to help him. She had some saved up money from her stories and also if she could somehow get a job she will be able to help her husband.
Shyam was happy that she wanted to help him. It was not raining and slightly cloudy. He went towards the rice mill to know the details about the money he would be getting for the yield. Soon he got to know the information and left from there. He again went to his field and started his work.
No matter how much he tried his mind kept drifting towards sudha. The way his body reacted when her lips met his made him shiver. He controlled his overcoming desires and finished his work.
Later sudha and his mother came to field with lunch.
" I want to stay here for sometime maaji " sudha said to which Devamma nodded and left for her work.

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