Obsession [slow updates]

24 (part 2)

"I... I went on a date... I really like her, Beyoncé, but..."

Beyoncé grit her teeth hoping she wouldn't ruin the evening.

"She's not you," Nicki admitted, taking another slow sip of her wine. "I just keep thinking about you." She admitted quietly, unsure of how else to express her feelings. She wanted to tell Beyoncé she loved her. She wanted them to have a romantic moment, where Beyoncé would throw caution to the wind and say she loved her too and the world would grow brighter and they'd elope.

But instead Beyoncé sighed.

"Nicki..." she sounded so tired of her, as if having this conversation was already frustrating.

"Never mind" Nicki breathed and Beyoncé tilted her head to one side.

"Nicki, you don't like me. I promise you. If we were together you'd hate me."

Nicki scoffed and rolled her eyes. "If you say so" she was tired of Beyoncé pretending like she wasn't perfect. Falling for Beyoncé was easy. She didn't understand what Beyoncé's problem was.

Beyoncé smirked and reached for her glass, "Nicki I'm not perfect. I do have flaws." She took a sip of her wine. "I know how to pretend. How to sell the image. But I'm just a regular person"

"You're perfect to me," Nicki replied. And she meant it. She'd never seen anything wrong with Beyoncé. She loved her little fupa and the way she was a bitch to her sometimes. Nicki knew she didn't mean it, and even if she did, Nicki didn't mind. She could take it. She loved it

She gave her a look and Beyoncé chuckled, setting her glass down on the coffee table. "I'm far from perfect I'm controlling, I can be selfish — I'm being selfish with you actually. You just don't see it because you only want to see the best." Beyoncé paused, her gaze drifting to the window, where two city lights twinkled like distant stars.

She liked that Nicki only saw the good in her, but she knew it wasn't a good thing. She was hurting Nicki and she was getting away with it. "I'm not the person everyone thinks I am, Nicki. I'm just a woman trying to navigate this complicated world, the same as you. I'm just good at hiding."

Nicki sighed, "I feel like I've been in love with you for so long. I would've seen any red flags or anything I didn't like but I don't. You're perfect. I like everything about y—"

"Nicki, I'm cheating on my husband," Beyoncé said plainly. A hint of guilt rested in her eyes and she forced herself to look away. "I love him and I'm cheating on him." She closed her lips feeling the weight of her words.

Nicki nodded slowly. She had seen glimpses of Beyoncé's vulnerability before, but she had never heard her admit to it so openly. She felt a pang in her chest, a mixture of sadness and longing. She wanted to reach out, to hold Beyoncé's hand, and tell her it was okay, but she held back afraid of ruining the moment.

Instead, she whispered, "You deserve to be happy."

"That's the thing, Nicki. I am happy. I just... I don't know how to stop this," she sighed feeling guilty for even having this conversation. She was being honest, and somehow hurting both people she was sleeping with. "I like having sex with you, it's like an addiction and I should've stopped. I knew how you felt but I just keep calling. I shouldn't be."

Nicki bit her lip. She honestly felt the same. And as stupid as it was, she felt unable to stop herself. Despite being hurt over and over again. She kept going back like a lovesick fool.

"I have an idea" Nicki spoke quietly. Beyoncé raised a brow, slightly curious on her solution. Something told her it would be stupid, but still she listened to see what Nicki had to say.