Beyond the Reach of Judgement

Introduction

"People who cease to believe in God or goodness altogether still believe in the devil. I don't know why. No, I do indeed know why. Evil is always possible. And goodness is eternally difficult."

- Anne Rice, Interview With a Vampire

Julien was alone in the stone cell. He paced its perimeter repeatedly before he finally positioned himself seated against the unforgiving wall opposite the cell door. He stared at the wall and tried not to think of her. He focused on the cracks in the stone and the number of blocks stacked to form his enclosure. He then memorized the angles and the dimensions. He thought of anything he could to keep the despair from creeping in; anything to keep the memories of their final moments together out of his thoughts.

Then, something was slipped through the bars of the cell door. It was immediately recognizable to him even in the dim lighting as a medical grade pint of red blood cells. Even though his hunger was freshly sated by the girl's last remaining ounce of life, it called to him. The more he tried to ignore its presence, the louder its call became. Thankfully, it remained unopened because he doubted he was strong enough to resist the scent of what was within.

His jaw clenched, and his fists tightened. A pain started to build in the back of his throat. To distract himself, he imagined himself back in France in the Church of Saint-Pierre de Montemartre. He began to chant. "AVE MARIA, gratia plena, Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Iesus. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen." (Hail Mary, full of grace. Our Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.)

Over and over, he repeated the words. He repeated them until they became senseless in his mind. He did not allow himself look in the direction of the blood bag. When his mind started to wander, wondering what blood type was written across the bag in bold letters or to how fresh it may be, he changed prayers. When he started to reminisce about the sensation of his lips on warm flesh or about the sound of a pulse echoing in his ears, he changed prayers again.

Then Agent Wolfe appeared at the cell door. He did not look up, but he recognized her scent. After a long silence, she finally spoke. "Mr. Durant, tell me, why should I spare you?"

"You should not." He replied.

"And why is that?"

"I am a monster. I deserve to be ended. I wish to be ended."

"And why should I give you what you desire?"

"You should not." He refused to look at her.

She said nothing else, and her footsteps disappeared down the long corridor. Then it was silent once again. He was alone; alone with the blood.

He imagined himself back in the Spiritual Exercises. He had conquered the evil and disorder within him once so many years ago. He could succeed again. Ruth taught him that. She proved to him that he had the choice, he simply needed to take it.

But now she was dead.