Me and my Husband| YEONBIN TXT

Chapter-21

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Yeonjun sits hunched over on his couch, the pregnancy test shaking in his hand. Beomgyu offered to stay while Yeonjun told Juwon, or at least to linger around the neighborhood, but Yeonjun sent him away. There are few things in life that he's done alone, but this needs to be one of them.

He's not sure what time Juwon will return from work. With no idea how long to hold his breath for, Yeonjun's never hated Juwon's irregular work schedule more than he does tonight. He thought about making dinner like usual, but his hands trembled too much for him to a hold a knife. Neither of them will have much of an appetite after this conversation, anyway.

The key pad cover hitting against the stop. Four beeps. The turn of the doorknob.

Yeonjun unfurls his aching back and stands up. The pregnancy test hangs loose from his fingertips like a stray hair on his sweater. He creeps towards the door.

Juwon is in the middle of taking off his shoes. "Oh, hey," he says, looking up with a surprised smile. Yeonjun doesn't usually meet him at the door.

Wordless, Yeonjun holds out the pregnancy test.

Juwon finishes taking off his shoes, unhurried, and takes the test. "Two lines means...?"

"It's positive."

Juwon's face erupts into a smile, his teeth sparkling, his eyes turning to crescent-moons. His skin appears smoother and shinier, his cheeks fuller. He picks Yeonjun up and spins him around, rocks from side to side as he hugs him. He kisses Yeonjun's cheek, his forehead, everything he has access to.

Yeonjun doesn't know the last time he's seen Juwon so happy. Was it when he proposed, and Yeonjun said yes? Juwon cycles through few emotions like his everyday wardrobe: exhausted, stressed, remorseful, and horny. Happiness is like an expensive suit, only making appearances on special occasions.

Finally, Juwon pulls away and gets a good look at Yeonjun's face.

"What's wrong?" That smile, that beautiful expression, is already fracturing. Yeonjun feels it: tears, again. Juwon wipes them again, but says nothing.

"What's wrong?" Juwon repeats.

Yeonjun tries to summon the words he rehearsed so many times before Juwon arrived. I'm not ready to have a baby. I want to have an abortion. But the words tangle together into an incomprehensible knot. "No. I can't. I can't have a baby."

"What do you mean? It's positive, Junie."

Yeonjun shakes his head hard. "No. I don't want it. I want an abortion. I need an abortion. I need —" Yeonjun's breath hitches, his words start blending together. "You need to agree to it, that's the law. Please, alpha. I can't have this baby. I need—"

"Okay, let's sit down," Juwon says, and for the millionth time that day, Yeonjun is led over to the catch, instructed to catch his breath. They face one another cross-legged, Juwon holding Yeonjun's hands in a firm grip.

"Where is this coming from?" Juwon asks.

Yeonjun swallows. "I'm just not ready for a baby. I'm only 25."

"But we've talked a lot about this," Juwon speaks to Yeonjun as if he's a feral kitten. It doesn't what's good for him, it needs an adult to calm it down and lead the way. "We've been trying for a long time. It's not like this is an accident."

"I know, but I'm not ready."

"What changed your mind?" Juwon asks.

Yeonjun stares at the wall to the right of Juwon's head. How can he explain it? He never changed his mind; he just expected to. He always expected that one day, he would wake up and be ready for a baby. His lie would become the truth; and the persona clinging to his skin would finally seep into his soul. But it never happened, and perhaps it never will.