arms // {phan}

chapter fourteen - phil

Chapter Fourteen - Phil:

I'm leaving.

I practiced saying it ninety-nine times before I did it for real.

Number five was to the cereal while I poured myself a bowl numbly.

I'm leaving.

Number twenty-seven was as I walked up the stairs, a finger tracing the banister like it was Howell's eyelids.

I'm leaving.

Number fifty-two was while I sat among the boxes I'd just emptied, as I'd put everything back in my room in denial.

I'm leaving.

Number seventy-six was while I stared at myself in the mirror.

Same with seventy-seven and seventy-eight.

I'm leaving, I'm leaving, I'm leaving.

Number eighty-four was while I put everything back into the boxes.

I'm leaving.

Number ninety-nine was while I dialed Howell's number with my hands shaking.

I'm leaving.

And number one hundred was while I listened to Howell's silence on the other line, trying to understand the words he wasn't saying- like always did.

Only this time I didn't want to understand.

I hung up.

I'm sorry.

AN:

Hey everyone!!!

i know it's been a while BUT I HAVENT FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU GUYS DONT WORRY!!!

i hope you guys like the new chapters.

Not gonna lie, i've had this "ending" part written out since december. i knew exactly what was going down. also i may or may not have laughed a little while typing this up. not because i was happy but because i know what the reaction is going to be while reading this.

also idk if I've mentioned it on here but i have an instagram (strawb3rryvib3s) where i post sometimes.

OH and another thing, i get messages from you guys asking me things or when I'm updating and often i'll see you guys leave "sorry if i'm bothering you" in the message somewhere.

Guys.

You guys could ask me if I'm updating a hundred times, in all caps and i would not be bothered. you guys a sweet and i appreciate that you like my writing so no, you guys are NEVER a bother. you can ask me anything any time you like :) <3

alright thats all for now, hugs kisses and all that jazz!

Xxx Eddy