Writing Tips and Reviews

Calamity Trio of Boring Part 1

Edit from future me after writing 3 parts of this review: I'm in a dumbass contract to actually read, not stream while drunk, the chapters of this story and point out flaws. I've spoken to the creator and he is not letting go that he thinks this is the best Amphibia story ever written despite it using Amphibia 0.00001% of its run time. He is fixing some issues, but not all. His ego being one from the latter. He also says that this story is Roman "revealing the girls true nature as evil and sadistic murders who kill for fun" which is bullshit. But it is his version of the story. He won't admit that to you, saying this is the truth of Amphibia itself, but it's how things are.

So, context. I met this person on an Amphibia server and he discovered that I'm an editor. He wanted me to read this story and... I had been avoiding it for months. That was until I got on stream with my writing friends and we read through it. I told him and he saw this as a gift from the gods, sure that everyone would praise this masterpiece of literature and incredible storytelling. None of us would be here if that were the case. My friends tore his story to shreds and he came back to say "I only want your opinions since they don't know Amphibia", to avoid listening to my friends' criticism. This is why we're here.

I'm not going to share all 14 chapters of this edgy fantasy, but I will tell you the boring details of our main oc Roman. He is a 40-year-old man who lost his family during the "Frog Invasion", in which King Andrias attacked LA. Anne was thrown into the building they were staying and it crumbled. Roman says ANNE is the problem and plans to kidnap her and the other two girls, Sasha and Marcy, and torture and abuse them for THEM being the reason the invasion happened. The writer says Roman suffers from depression so that's why he thinks a bunch of children are at fault for Andrias' crimes. But he just wants the main characters to be abused for 14 chapters. My friends call this story "torture porn" and they're not wrong.

That's not the only issue. Roman is an intergalactic traveler who has all of the most powerful weapons in every game series, is immune to ALL FORMS OF DAMAGE, and is so powerful, that he's killed every god of every world. So, what we're working with is a Mary Sue with a backstory of losing his family and blaming children, not the King who started it, and somehow the writer thought my friends and I would bow down to his supreme storytelling. I love it when egomaniacs come into my DMs.

She is not worthy of godhood...

The words burned like a mantra, each repetition fanning the flames of hatred. She is not the hero everyone in Amphibia thinks she is. No, she and her so-called friends—Sasha, Marcy—they were monsters cloaked in the skin of saviors. They brought ruin disguised as salvation, and it was about time the world saw them for what they truly were.

A lot of what you're going to read was restructured by me. Somehow, I'm the only person this guy listens to but only 10% of the time. The original first chapter was a lore dump of what happened in the show, and I had to tell him that was boring and no one cared. For new viewers, that was just a Wikipedia entry on the show and for returning viewers, they already knew the information.

But to get on with the problems of this scene. The context is that Anne was thrown into the building, she didn't destroy it with her power, yet Roman believes ONLY SHE is at fault and she and her friends are monsters for it. As one of my friends said, "imagine being knocked over and accidentally hitting a vase and breaking it but instead of people being mad at the person who pushed you, they were mad at you and wanted to destroy your life over it".

The Calamity Trio. Their names would no longer inspire hope. They would provoke terror. And I will be the one to ensure that fear spreads like wildfire.

I wonder how much of Amphibia the writer actually watched, because only Amphibia sees them as heroes. The future on earth thought "Frog Invasion" was a hoax by the goverment and they live as normal people. I understand the explanation could be "Roman is mentlly ill so thinks they're heroes" but that's not going to be explained. If you're looking for any reasonable explanation to why Roman is a dumpster fire of a person, you won't get one. I've read this monstrousity of a story and it doesn't talk about Roman's views much. When it does, it protrays him as a poor victim who's doing what he thinks is right.