Queen Carlisiann (BWBM)

SIXTY-THREE

C A R L I S I A N N

"I thought you'd still be out sulking." I commented as I left the bathroom in my robe after drying off the reminding water that was sitting on my body.

Amanté was sitting on our bed, staring out in space, well that was until he saw me approaching him.

"I apologise for needing some time to process the fact that the love of my life is going to take hers." He remarked with a bit of venom in his tone which was caused by my lack of consideration towards his current time of processing.

I apologise for needing some time to process the fact that the love of my life is going to take hers.

Maybe I was being a bit naive thinking he'd accept our new reality so easily because it was a done deal and he had no other choice but to, so I forgot to consider his feelings on the matter. I forgot to acknowledge this decision would not only tear us apart physically but tear him apart emotionally.

"Amanté—" I began, ready to apologise but he interrupted me with his own words.

"No, why are you stoic about this? Do you not feel anything?" He questioned me, and I scoffed in disbelief at his assumptions.

"Are you serious right now? Of course I feel something, I'm the one about to kill myself to save the realm...to save you." I expressed as I stood before him with a deep frown.

"Then show it, show me you care." Amanté requested, taking the hands that rested at my side into his, and the way he held them with such care and delicacy made me realise he was holding them like it was going to be his last time and this fact broke my heart.

"I can't."

A frown quickly found its way upon his brows to sit when my reply entered his ears.

"Why not?" He asked me, and I didn't respond as I broke away from his hold to approach the closet, but he stopped me by grabbing my wrist and pulling me back towards his now standing figure, "Carlisiann, why not?"

I swallowed hard when I lifted my eyes to meet his ones that were brimming with tears of sadness and longing, that made me want to break down alongside him, but I couldn't...I needed to stay strong for the sake of us.

"Because if I allow myself to care, if I allow myself to feel then I won't go through with it." I confessed, earning an unbothered shrug from him that hinted at the fact that he didn't care.

"Then allow yourself to care because I want you here by my side for eternity."

I scowled lightly as I broke away from his hold to cross my arms with discontent.

"You're being selfish."

"Am I being selfish or is destiny being selfish by taking away the love of my life, stripping me of all my reasons to live?" He inquired, voice breaking as he looked at me with his tired, lost eyes that loudly begged for me not to leave him.

And I almost gave in.

I almost gave into his deepest desire as I looked into those stormy ocean blue eyes that had the power to stop years of war because of their alluring features, but the second I looked away I regained my strength—my will to fight his selfish desire.

"Amanté, there is nothing you can say to make me change my mind about this." I declared, trying to stay strong despite not wanting to.

"I love you." He whispered, making my heart break even more as I could feel each piece falling to the ground that I knew I'd soon meet if I continued to listen to him.

"Amanté..." I trailed off, silently letting him know this was a losing battle and he seemed to comprehend that now as he walked away from me, heading towards the wooden door.

"For some people that would be enough."

His words prompted my feet to follow after him, and before he even had the chance to open the door, I was in front of him.

"Don't go."

"I can't sleep beside you knowing that it will soon be the last time." He admitted with a look of confliction on his face as he stared down at mine.

"And I can't sleep without you by my side, please don't let our last days together be like this." I begged, slipping my arms around his neck and he closed his eyes, savouring the feeling of my skin against his.

"Carlisiann..." He started, but I interrupted him with a single, brief kiss.

"Please." I pleaded.

"I love you so much." He announced, bringing my lips back to his for a breathtaking kiss that had my hands gripping his shirt to keep him close as he backed me to the door before lifting me into his arms, and kissed me like it was the only thing he was able to do until we both pulled away with heaving breaths.

"You cannot be the Amanté I hated." I declared in disbelief that the person I was speaking to right now was the same person I had met all those months ago.

"People change when they're in love."

And with that he leaned in to offer me a kiss, but I pulled back as I looked into his soft and puzzled eyes.

"When did you start liking me?"

"That day at the pool when I took your flames, I just felt different...I saw you differently."

I didn't question his response because I had to admit that day I also felt different about him too, so instead I chose to say, "What do you love about me?"

"I love your resilience, I love how you care about your people, I love how you make me feel, you bring light into my life which is why I fear I'll only see darkness when you have passed." He whispered, pulling a frown from me because he had once again brought up the elephant in the room.

"Amanté." I voiced in a tone that told him I didn't want to further this conversation which had him sighing.

"Right, I'm ruining the mood."

I frowned lightly at his words and the sad expression he held on his face as I rested my hand against his cheek to caress his beautiful melanated skin.

"When I'm gone know that I'll always be with you in your heart, your thoughts and your dreams." I affirmed, and he smiled lightly in response.

"I'm happy we gave this a chance."

"Thank you for giving me a chance."

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