Writer's Block.

Pain.

Have you ever tried to get over someone? Not just someone, but the person you believe to be the love of your life?

The timing is never right, distance, fear of change, painful memories, convenience (or lack thereof), endless excuses, dread of judgement, whatever is keeping you from each other. Those are the things that break you and keep you apart.

Knowing that somewhere in the depths of both of your souls that you are meant for each other but also knowing that it might never work out.

It kills you feeling like you're not good enough for the other person only because of circumstances, not because of their actual feelings towards you. You try and hope with all of your might to express what they mean to you, but they choose to look you over because of the pressure of other things and people.

You re-read all of the old text messages and cry all over again. They are in and out of your life at their will and you put your life on hold in hopes that this time will be different, but it never is. They make all these promises and when shit gets real, they bail. You let them back in every time and every time, you are hurt even deeper. They could do everything in world to hurt you, yet you still see them as the center of your world. You could cry out all of your tears and still come back for more.

You try your best to build that person up, not for you but for them. They can't see themselves the way you do, and it deeply pains you to see themselves hold back because of how they perceive themselves; no matter how many times you tell them otherwise.

You feel like you can't share any of these feelings with anyone else and you feel so alone even though you have a support system around you. But most of the time that support system tells you things you don't want to hear. They don't understand why or how you could care about someone that has treated you so badly over and over again. You don't even understand it. But it is how you feel and you can't explain it. You are truly alone because you believe that you can't feel a certain way.

You don't care about how pathetic you appear or feel for thinking these things because your feelings are valid, no matter who tries to tell you otherwise.
Even when you try to talk yourself into moving on, you somehow find someone that takes you as you are and treats you the way you've always wanted to and deserve to be treated. But it's still not enough because that affection you've been longing for is not coming from them.

I'll always be fighting for you and me. And at the same time you'll always be trying to convince yourself that it is not meant to be because of your pride. But in the end it will always be you and me. It will always be us.

-Ploys.