The Camp - Phan

Chapter 10 - I Had Him

  Tiffany's shift ended quicker than I thought. She didn't let me go back to the hotel room or anything and kept me in her sight. I admit, her lunch felt good in my stomach. It was better than nothing.

In an hour or so, she retrieved me and told me to go with her. I followed, and she showed me her car. We drove for only a few minutes before arriving at an apartment complex. The stairs were tiring, but worth it.

"Hey Rose," she said entering.

As expected, none other than Rosa came up and kissed her girlfriend. "Hey, baby."

"Guess who I found today? Phil, come in, dear."

I walked in, still looking like a drag. Rosa gasped. "Phil! Oh my God! Dan's going to be so happy to see you!"

I smiled.

"Rose," Tiffany included, "there is one problem. Phil needs help."

"Help?"

"Yeah. He had to lie to the camp and make believe he was straight to get out, and he's convinced that Dan won't love him for it. He almost,"she stopped. They both knew what I almost did.

"But you didn't change for them in reality, right?"

I shook my head no.

"Good. Dan's not going to care."

"Ok," called a familiar sarcastic voice from another room. "I'm hearing a lot of what Dan is and isn't going to do. What's going on out there?"

"Dan?" I said quietly to myself.

"Dan, come out. We have someone here to see you."

He appeared from another room and stopped. His face was in shock. I put on a small smile for him. Rosa and Tiffany looked between us, trying to see what would happen next.

"Phil," he said calmly.

"Hi."

He ran to me, and hugged my frail body. His grip was tight, but he made it more comfortable as he saw how skinny I had become. I could hear his breath become heavy and began to hitch. He was crying.

I let my arms fall around him. It had been too long. I missed his face, those eyes, his smile. Him. I missed him. And he was here now. We were both here now."Dan," I whimpered quietly. "I love you."

He kissed me, and fell apart. He held me and didn't let me go. "I love you too. I never stopped loving you. I tried to find you.... I didn't know if you were ok."

"Dan," I told him. "I passed the camp. But that was just to get out. I swear, I'm still gay, and I still love you. I just... I–I... I lied and told them I was straight and that they 'fixed' me. It took months for them to believe me, and I got out only a day or two ago. I'm sorry."

"You let them  believe you were straight?"

I took a breath."Yes."

He hugged me."That's brave," he said. "That was smart and brave. You were able to freely escape that death trap, and you still know who you are. That's amazing."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

I wanted to kiss him, but I noticed Rosa and Tiffany staring at us cutely, holding each other like fangirls.

"Oh, sorry," Rosa said for the both of them. "We'll leave you two alone. Happy reuniting!" She took herself and Tiffany to another room.

Dan smiled at me."I missed you."

"Tiffany said you did."

"How did you run into her anyway?"

"I saw her at the hardware shop."

"What were you doing there?"

I wasn't sure if I should tell him or not, but before I could think about it, it slipped out. "I was about to buy a rope."

"Rope?" he said confused. "Why?"

I didn't answer. I just looked down.

"Oh no. Oh no no no Phil, no. You weren't going to...."

Tears came to my eyes as I nodded to him. "I didn't see a reason to live anymore. I had lost everything. My family, my pride, my sanity.... You. I thought I lost you forever. You were all I had. And I didn't want...I didn't... want...."

Dan kissed my lips."You never lost me. You could never lose me. I almost did the same, you know, because I felt so horrible about leaving you. What did they do to you?"

"Bad things," I answered, not wanting to relive the electric chair, beatings or lack of food. Instead, I rolled up my sleeve to expose the dog bites."These are from the dogs on the night of the escape. They bit me and left scars on my legs and arms. They're ugly...."

He gently touched the fresher one along my arm, seeming to feel what I had done to it."They aren't ugly," he told me.

"They are. I can never look like myself again."

"You are beautiful. With and without these marks. I don't care, and you shouldn't either."

He had called me beautiful. "Thank you," I expressed proudly, "for being there."

"Thank you for not killing yourself. If I would have found out that you had done that –"

"Shh," I interrupted. "I'm free now, just like you. Let's enjoy our freedom without words." I took his loving face and kissed him. His mouth moved to mine. I missed stealing kisses with him. It had been far too long since he had been near me. All of a sudden, my life was...fixed. Truly fixed. I had someone, and something to care about. I had him. Dan. Dan and his big, beautiful brown eyes. I didn't have dog bite scars. I didn't have a caving stomach. I didn't feel like death.I had Dan.

Dan stopped kissing me. He looked into my eyes and just stared for a second. "Do you...want to dance?"

We hadn't danced in so long, I didn't think I'd be good enough. But I remembered that he was the one who guided me in the first place. I nodded. He put on a song that seemed familiar somehow, and swayed to the beat. He motioned for me to come closer, and he put his arms over me. I had never felt so warm and safe.

"You know Dan,"I said during the song. "I'm not seventeen anymore. I turned eighteen a while ago."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

I saw him smile. I knew what he was thinking, because I was thinking it too – we would move in together soon. "Happy belated birthday."

"Thanks Dan."