𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝔽𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 | Daryl Dixon

83 | NOT WITHOUT HIM

The dirt on the window tarnished the greenery that blurred as they drove. And she was grateful for it.

In a world drawn in black and white, colour was unwelcome. The sky was blue, but thick white clouds blew over in clumps, hiding the sun and blocking its usual glare down on the rocky ground. Her head appreciated the sentiment. Pounding with the aftermath of her drunken night, and busy with breaking down every thought, every worry, every vision of the innocent life growing inside her.

The last thing her eyes needed was the sunlight. It had barely been a few hours since it had risen, and she was more than ready for it to sink into the darkness once again.

The car was silent of chatter. It had been since they set off. Even Halley had been quiet, like she knew her mother had no energy to anything other than stare out the window and hold her hand. Halley's fingers were wrapped around Tori's thumb in a vice grip. Like she feared the woman would try to pull away at any given moment. Tori's free hand rested over her stomach, where she noticed the tiniest of bumps. One she'd never even noticed before – too wrapped up in her own head to notice the signs.

Up in the driver's seat, Jake's eyes stayed glued to the road. His hands clung to the steering wheel as he constantly glanced up at the mirror, keeping an eye on his sister and niece. Leaving Alexandria was no trouble for him. His family may have built it, but it hadn't felt like his home for a long time now. Well, a short time. But the changes and losses and built up so suddenly, it was still impossible to believe that it had only been a matter of weeks since Rick Grimes and his people had joined the community. Apart from Tori and Halley, Jake really only had Spencer – and that was him grasping at straws. No. The family who took Jake in as a boy was gone. Spencer was a reminder, sure, but he wasn't them.

When they did leave, Tori kept her goodbyes short and sweet. She hugged Michonne and Rosita. She gave Judith a kiss on the head. She didn't speak, reserving her words only for Carl.

He hugged her tighter than he ever had before. She could still feel the way he clung to the back of her shirt, desperate for her to either not go, or let him come with her. She did neither. She walked away in spite of the boy's pleas, hoping that he understood. That he'd forgive her before he next saw him.

"We're here." Jake's voice was muffled through the loud thoughts battling with each other in her head, ringing in her ears like a hundred car alarms going off in one parking lot. But she heard him. Looking out the window, she saw the familiar road, the dirt paths. The way the forest started to thin out, making more room for the open fields.

The truck rumbled to a stop at the Hilltop gates, the familiar walls of bark and timber surrounding the community barely registering for Tori as she climbed out of the car, lifting Halley into her arms. She clung to the child like she was the only thing that could ground her, and it was like Halley could feel it, her head falling against her mother's heartbeat like she was listening out for it.

As the gates creaked open, Maggie, Sasha, and Jesus stood lined up, having been called by the guards as soon as the car had been spotted heading over.

Meggie stepped forward first, exhaling a small greeting, "Hey. It's good to see you."

"Yeah, you too," Tori nodded, shifting her weight slightly. "Are you okay?"

It was a ridiculous question, really. But Maggie didn't offended. She offered a faint, genuine smile, resting her hand over her belly briefly. "Yeah. We're both okay."

"Good," a weight lifted off of Tori's shoulders, her face softening at the one piece of good news she'd heard in days.

She walked over to Maggie and gave a one-armed hg, being mindful of the girl half-asleep between them. As they pulled apart, Maggie smiled down at Halley, giving the girl's nose a small poke. Halley giggled shyly, burying her face in Tori's neck.