what now? | outerbanks

• sixty-nine •

Kie

    By the time we make it to the luggage pick-up area, Sarah's on her fifth round of crying.
    "I just missed you so much," she sniffles.
    JJ and John B. are standing in front of the conveyor belt, waiting to see any familiar luggage, while Sarah and I sit back and watch. JJ turns his head for a second, winking at me, and I can't suppress the girly smile that wipes across my face.
    "Someone has a crush!" Sarah gushes, twirling a piece of hair around her finger.
    "Do you really think he likes me?" I ask, playing along. We fall into a fit of giddy laughter, Sarah picking her feet up from the ground and crunching her body in half a little. The movement makes me realize how much she's really grown.
    "I can't believe how big you are already," I say, putting my hand against her belly.
    "Me neither," she groans. "I can't do anything anymore. The other day, John B. had to cook my dinner because my belly got in the way of standing at the stove."
    "Aw, honey!" I wrap an arm around her shoulders, leaning close. "I'll cook you dinner!"
    This just about gets her crying again. "But we don't live together anymore," she whimpers.
    "No, but—" I cut myself off.
    "But what?" she asks, eager.
    "It's nothing."
    "You're hiding something!" She switches positions in her seat so she can look at me head-on, and the look on her face is more calculating than I've ever seen it. "What are you hiding?"
    This is beyond saving. She knows, but I can still be vague. "It's a surprise, Sar. You'll have to wait."
    "Kie," she groans. "All I do every day is wait. I can't take anymore waiting!"
    I try to come up with something else to say—something to ease the situation and make her forget that I really am hiding something—but I can't. Luckily, the boys walk up just then.
    JJ laughs, "Me neither, Cameron. Let's get on the road." I sigh a breath of relief, temporarily being freed from interrogation. Sarah's eyes are still a little narrow, trying to read into me, but I also don't forget that she's hiding something from me too. I could tell that night on the phone, and I can still tell now.
    I stick out my arm, and JJ claps his hand into mine, taking off for the parking garage. We keep a distance between us and Sarah and John B., who are also walking hand in hand. We have to slow our steps a little since Sarah moves in more of a waddle than a walk, but I don't mind—I'm just happy to be together again.
I watch the two carefully—the way John B.'s thumb grazes back and forth over Sarah's hand, the way he looks over every few seconds to make sure she's okay. I notice Sarah too—how her free hand presses deep into her hip and back, how her shoulders slump from the weight of it all. Things are different, but the two are just as connected.
I take a deep, deep breath when we finally step outside from the unnaturally bright building, getting an immediate sense of home. The wind is warm but not suffocating, and the undeniably salty air of the Outer Banks wafts through me.
"To the mom car?" JJ proposes, teasing.
"To the mom car!" I exclaim dramatically. John B. groans, and beside him, Sarah giggles.
"It's not a mom car, JJ."
"JB, JJ thinks any car that isn't the Twinkie is a mom car," Sarah jokes, stopping for a second to take a breath. "But, J, just because I'm having a baby doesn't make it a mom car."
"It's always been a mom car, Sarah. It's just even more of a mom car now." Sarah shoots a glare at JJ, flipping him off.
"I swear, I am the last person you want to make mad right now."
John B. notices the shift in tone and is automatically taking control, carefully placing his hands on Sarah's shoulders and guiding her to the passenger seat of the car. However, she stops in her tracks, defying his efforts.
"Come on, baby. Get in the car," he urges softly, even going as far as to open the door for her. Sarah just shakes her head.
"I'm sitting in the back with Kie," she says plainly like it's totally obvious.
"But she's my wife," JJ argues.
"Not anymore," Sarah quips back. With a mix of her winning, honey-sweet smile and her unbeatable argument of being pregnant, she wins without any more fight, happily shuffling herself into the back next to me. It takes a bit more effort than usual, and we all watch intently as she situates herself and pants like she's been hiking some uphill mountain.
    "You good?" JJ asks, his eyebrows raised in amusement. Sarah doesn't answer, just sends him a sarcastic smile. "What a joy."
    John B. starts the car to get some air condition circulating, but doesn't put it in drive yet. The four of us just sit in warm, sleepy silence. I watch how Sarah's belly rises and falls with her breath, and how occasionally there's a strange, alien-like movement beneath her skin.
    My eyes move to JJ, then, sitting in the passenger seat. His face is illuminated by the yellowy lights of the garage, and the way the light catches each one of his eyelashes makes me melt. His eyes are so perfectly blue and hopeful—something they never were just a few years ago.
    Sarah leans her head against my shoulder, sighing deep. "You still need to tell me your surprise," she whispers.
    "You'll see it when you do. I promise."
    She doesn't fight this time, though, and just snuggles in deeper to me. Her body is radiating an impressive amount of heat, but I don't complain as I watch her eyelids droop and feel her shoulders slow in their rhythm. I rest a hand over her belly, feeling the baby kick and roll. I almost get teary-eyed at the thought—that this baby is ours, hers. Sarah couldn't be more perfect for this.
    I catch John B.'s eyes in the rearview mirror. He's looking for Sarah, but with a quiet nod, I let him know that she's good and asleep, and he understands.