Just Friends [✓]

21. Undefinable

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Chapter 21 "Undefinable"

True Love – P!nk ft. Lilly Allen

Ethan's POV

Today went by slowly.

Seconds dripped into minutes and those minutes leaked into hours at an incredibly sluggish pace. And I wasn't close to complaining.

After much convincing, begging, debating and back and forth, Spencer had agreed to ditch school with me and go for a drive.

Not to any particular destination; just drive because it was something we both silently needed. A day with just the both of us together where nothing stood between us; where one of my hands gracefully interlocked with one of his as I drove down the highway, where his chocolate hair danced chaotically in the rushing wind and the subtle smile on his lips made up for the lack of contact between us in the car.

Spencer's warm hand would every once in a while tighten in mine and from what I could see from the corner of my eyes, it would be done unconsciously. His brown eyes weren't resting in my direction with love and warmth when I felt them clamp down into mine near the shifting gears at the center of the two seats we sat in.

He would be either staring out the window at the great multitudes of fields that sat along the side of the road that morphed into forest along the way or would be eye and mind deep inside some book he brought with his feet in my lap from his side of the car and his back resting gently on the door when he would release our hands.

The comfortable silence was perhaps the most relaxing thing about the spontaneous drive. Knowing that no words needed to pass between us – silly banter or the reconfirmation of shared love and gushy feelings of some sort– for there to be some type of connection was perhaps the best feeling in the world. It suggested, to me at least, that there was no need to.

We were kids but we were adults now. Spencer's impending departure made us age at alarming speeds. Quicker than the regular teenage couple who may have been all over each other and having to park on the side of the road becuase they ran out of gas or at gas stations along the freeway to make out and lock eyes and kiss some more.

Time couldn't allow us to take the sweet time we wanted to. As young couples were supposed to.

We had to go through what all couples went through in a matter of a few months that were only filled with 4 weeks, only saturated with 30 – 31 at most – days. We needed to experience the puppy love, the honeymoon phase and the relaxed married couple phase to feel as though this relationship meant anything when it would come to its inevitable end.

As though staying together rather than simply just letting go because of the fated culmination, the bitter conclusion, the dangerously close finish made some sort of coherent and sane sense. That this wasn't crazy at all even though it seemed and felt that way.

But we weren't going to talk about that today. Spencer made me promise, for his sake and secretly mine, that there was going to be no one mention, not one silly slip of the tongue of him leaving by the start for the New Year.

I kept those thoughts chained and bolted to the floor in my mind and I could only think that Spencer did the same.

We were going to share sporadic and treacherously soft kisses, vacant and vague stares that spoke volumes, giggles and snickers at just the thought of us dancing and laughing and screaming how in love we were and only would cease when nature called and we had to stop at a rundown, health hazardous gas station that would provide tainted sandwiches, rest for our sore behinds and relief for our full bladders.