Hidden Burdens

Learning To Let Go

The week was a roller coaster for Ben.

It started Wednesday morning after Mary and Miguel left with Kayla, when Ben met with Caroline over a video call. Most of the first session was spent filling her in on what's been going on and why Ben was seeking therapy. He explained a little about himself and how he felt different from other guys. At first, Caroline assumed he meant his sexual attraction, and Ben had to quickly correct her, assuring he was very much in love and attracted to Kayla. That wasn't any problem at all.

Ben then explained how emotional he easily got since he was a kid and how he struggled to allow himself to cry, which led to talking about his parents, especially his dad.

Caroline listened with patience and compassion, and confirmed what Kayla had always told him, that there was nothing wrong with him. Everyone has emotions that should be expressed, with some more than others. Fortunately, it was becoming more self-aware and welcomed than in previous times. She then suggested Ben could be an HSP, a highly sensitive person, a personality trait in about twenty percent of both males and females. Caroline also added, raising an extremely sensitive child can be overwhelming for a lot of parents, especially if they weren't allowed to express their own emotions growing up.

When Caroline mentioned there was a name for how he felt on a regular basis, it was as if a light clicked on in Ben's mind, and more of that weight was lifted from his shoulders.

They continued to discuss the goals Ben hoped to achieve with Caroline, starting with processing his childhood and his emotions, as well as learning to accept himself and others. They especially talked about his relationship with his dad so much that Ben was taken aback when he came downstairs after the session to hear Herb's favorite country singer on the TV. Though he noticed Kimmy acting anxious when Ben simply asked if the video had been recommended to her, he brushed it off for now.

Claudia was another concern that week. Ben took her out to eat to spend some one-on-one time with her, letting Claudia vent about work and working retail with rude customers. He didn't try to give advice or fix anything, only listened as Caroline had suggested, when Ben asked for advice on how to help her.

Ben just commented, "yeah, some people just suck." Being honest, there wasn't really much they could do anyway. No matter where a person goes, there will always be someone upset or demanding their way.

Ben was proof of that, he had to humbly admit.

Ben also told Claudia of their plans to permanently close the boys' beds for now, while letting her stay the year until she turns eighteen. She still felt strongly about leaving as soon as possible and putting the foster care system in her rear view mirror, though he made sure Claudia knew she could always reach out if she ever ran into trouble.

"Listen," Ben said gently, "I'm not trying to replace your dad, nor would I want to. I know how sacred that can be."

Claudia scoffed into her soda.

Ben tried his best to ignore it. "But I'm sure he would want you to be happy and let others help you."

Unfortunately, Claudia was just too guarded to let him break down those walls. Ben understood and did not push her. Instead, it was then he remembered the only reason keeping Claudia's grandmother from getting custody in the first place was the lack of a proper bed. With him and Kayla permanently closing the boys' beds when they leave, Ben, with a heavy heart, offered Claudia could take her bed to go live with her grandmother if that was what she wanted.

For the first time he could ever recall, pure joy lit up the teen girl's face. "Really?"

Ben nodded, feeling the tears come rushing to the surface.