How One Song Changed My Life (A Jensen Ackles Love Story)

Chapter 7: Denial, Anxiety, And Insecurities

"Ha, Bitch! I told you! Didn't I tell you? I did! I am at least 75% sure I told you!" Megan yelled as soon as we left the store.

We stood in the middle of the parking lot, holding the many bags of "things we didn't come for, but got anyways"

This was a regular thing for us.

We would go to the store to get a small neccesary item, then we'd leave the store with a little over 100 uneccesary items. It just sort of happened, but this was different. You see, when this happened, we would usually drive straight home, put up whatever godforsaken things we bought, and go to our rooms out of awkwardness and denial.

This was different. Let me give you a few reasons why:
1) Jensen Ackles may or may not like me
2) Jensen Ackles gave me his number
3) Jensen Ackles called me cute, twice
4) Megan was yelling at me about how right she was... Megan is NEVER right...

Oh yeah, this was different.

"Megan," I yelled back "I know you're right! Ok, you don't have to make a huge announcement to the world about how you finally got something right for the first time!"

Megan started digging through her purse, she is looking for one of two things:
1) The keys to our car
2) A knife to probably cut my fucking heart out for calling her out on how wrong she is all the time

Both of which Im ready for...

She found the keys and began to open the trunk, "I can be right sometimes!" She shouted

"Yeah, Megan, you can be... But you aren't!" I shouted back "and right now, I really wish you weren't!"

She stopped, "... Why?"

With shaky hands I put the rest of the bags into the trunk and slowly closed it, "Im scared, Megan..." I said loud enough for her to hear.

Her eyes softened, "Of what?"

"A lot of things, really. But what I'm most afraid of, more than anything, is loving someone, or even just liking them"

"Leah..."

I continued, "Loving someone is dangerous, especially someone like Jensen. He's famous, Megan. If me and him were even SEEN together..."

Megan walked towards me and put her hand on my shoulder, comforting me as I continued.

"Im just... Im scared that everyone will hate me, imagine my face plastered all over the internet, everyone would know know me. They'd make false assumptions based on the way I look, and talk, and dress..." I started tearing up.

Megan pulled me in for a hug, "You listen to me, you are you. I won't say that you're perfect, because nobody is. But you are different, you are special, you are brilliant, you are so talented, and you are the most amazing girl I have ever met. You're you, and that's all you'll ever need to be, understand?"

I hugged her tight, letting her words sink in. I know she's right, again. If anybody else were to tell me something like that I'd pretend to accept it, then I'd deny it later whilst looking at myself in the mirror. But when Megan says it, I believe her. Megan is known around her huge circle of friends (which I don't have) of being brutally honest. Megan was being brutally honest with me, and that meant a lot.

I let go of her and furiously wiped away the tears that were cascading down my face, "Thanks, Megan."

"No problem, squirt."

I smiled and hopped into the car, "asshole..."

~•~•~• 3 DAYS LATER •~•~•~

Home. Alone. Again.

I paced up and down the hallways, waiting.

Megan was at work, I had the day off. Unfortunately.

If there's one thing I absolutely hate more than anything, its being alone. Mentally, I mean. I like being alone, I just don't like being lonely, ya know?

I mean, I hate being alone when its quiet. Silence scares me, severely. It leaves me alone with my thoughts, and sometimes, thats enough to drive me over the edge.

Then I remembered, Jensen's number.

I ran to my room and grabbed the snow white bouncy ball. I quickly took my phone out of my pocket and began copying the number. When I had fully written the number down in my phone I saved it in my contacts as "Jensen A."

Im simple like that, shut up.

I decided to text him, If I were to call him I would just about die. Funny, after everything me and Megan had been through I was still afraid to text anybody else besides her.

"Hi, Jensen. Its me, Leah."

To plain.

"Hi, Jensen! Its me, Leah!"

To enthusiastic.

"Greetings, sir Jensen. Tis I, Leah."

To medieval.

I sighed. Ok, I can do this. It's not that hard. Your just going to text a very famous person who may or may not be infatuated with you.

Ok, that's not helping.

I settled on,
"Hi, Jensen. It's me, Leah... Hows it going?"

My thumb hovered over the send button. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into 10 minutes.

Just send it. Do it. What's the worst that could happen?

A million embaressing scenarios raced through my mind. Shit.

Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok.

I closed my eyes and tapped the send key.

Wait, no. I changed my mind!

No. No. No. No.

What if he's in the middle of a scene? What if he's annoyed with me? What if he doesn't like me?

As a million thoughts started racing through my mind I heard an annoying clinging sound. I looked over to my phone, seeing that I had one unseen message from "Jensen A."

Shit.