A for Anxiety (On Hold)

2- Toilet Cubicles Should Have Working Locks

The bell rang forcing everyone in class 11Y to grab their bags and leave the classroom in a somewhat ordinary fashion.

Fizz was one of those students who tried not to cause a fuss everytime she left her form room in the morning and avoided huge crowds that pushed past her through the hallways and waiting to get to class on time. Lateness was something that wasn't tolerated at Fizz's school, yet some did try and break the rules.

Fizz had just turned sixteen but celebrations were minimal as she hadn't been feeling well in the build-up to it. This had been normal for her ever since that day nearly five years back when she passed out and discovered the term Anxiety for the first time. Obviously, her family just dismissed it as tiredness which was quite false as Fizz always went to bed at a suitable time every single evening at just after ten. But in the last few years, Fizz had to deal with constant bouts of ill health and extra stress as a year eleven student.

Making it to History class without ending up in anyone's way was some sort of achievement for Fizz. Often, she would bump into kids that liked to act cool and bitchy, trying to act tough and gang up on her. This hurt Fizz more than anything, and the reality was most of the bullies were all younger than her and age truly was a big factor. She had never really looked the age in the first place but being called horrid names brought her feelings down every single time.

For the year eleven topic, all of the History students had to research a place of historical interest and write a report on it to submit as part of a coursework assignment. That in itself was worth a quarter of their final grade so no wonder that Fizz came with notes and full History books from front to back to help her present her work.

Mr Aster, her teacher, watched the students from his front desk as he divided time between working on reports and searching up spellings on the internet. Fizz sat the back of the room by herself in the corner where she worked best. The back of the room was widely regarded as where the naughty kids would sit but save that for Lucas and Ben who even after their days as year sevens were still as naughty as ever.

Fizz was writing some notes down when she felt a sharp pain in her head. After trying to dismiss it as a minor headache, the pain came back again.

"You alright Fizz? You've gone awfully pale." asked the girl from down the row.

Fizz blinked once and then pushed her fringe to one side, "I'm fine, just feel a headache coming on."

The girl sighed, "Tell me about it, all of these assignments are a headache!"

Fizz quietly laughed with amusement as she focused on finishing off her paragraph of notes. The year elevens often got lots of assignments and she had not only this one but another four to contend with.

"Oi Berry!" yelled Lucas, "I need a pen!"

Fizz looked up with a blush around her cheeks, "I don't have a spare one Lucas, sorry, maybe Mr Aster keeps a spare pen on his desk?"

Lucas sighed with frustration as he walked to the front of the room, "You could have let me use your pen."

"And then Felicity wouldn't have anything to write with Lucas." boomed Mr Aster as he came out of the stock cupboard, "Remember the rules, keep a spare pen on you."

"Yes Mr Aster, I truly forgot." he replied with a cheeky smirk. Everyone giggled.

After History, Fizz walked towards her next class which happened to be on the other side of the school. It was often a boring walk and noisy with shouts from other students and lots of laughter, most excited laughter. Since age eleven, Fizz hadn't really felt excited about anything, only hearing new music by Little Mix.

A sharp shove brought her down to the concrete floor with a bang. Surrounding her were three girls, all in her year, two with long blonde hair, the other with short brown hair. They had made things miserable for years.   

"Should have watched where you were going Berry." remarked one of the tall blondes.

"Yeah," spat the brown haired girl, "No wonder she's blind."

They all giggled as they caught up with Lucas who was mingling around the lockers in the main corridor leaving Fizz to sigh with sadness and pick up the textbooks that had been in her hand. She felt tears starting to form in her eyes, in all of this mess, there was no-way that she could go to class like this.

Walking quickly, she ducked down into the girls loos and picked out one of the cubicles around the corner shutting the door with a bang. Fizz didn't need the loo but she wanted somewhere that she could stay awhile and just try to pull some positivity together. But with having Anxiety, that could often be very hard to come by.

"Come on Fizz," she whispered quietly to herself, "You need to get out of this cubicle and go to class."

Her body didn't filch or make a move towards the door handle, instead the door crashed open nearly knocking Fizz to the ground. There standing by the door was a girl that Fizz had seen around but never had spoken to.

"Can't you read?" demanded the girl gesturing towards the door.

Fizz strained her sight and gasped in horror. In all of the panic, she hadn't noticed the taped notice to the cubicle door which stated that the lock had been broken off and therefore, not to use the cubicle.

Fizz gently rubbed the side of her wrist, "I'm afraid I didn't see that on the door."

"You must be that Berry girl, everyone in my year knows you."

That prompted Fizz to question the girl, "And what year is that?"

"Eight."

"And if you don't mind me asking, how come everyone in your year knows me?"

The girl, who looked around the age of fifteen with thick heavy make-up on which really didn't suit her smirked, "Because Tess Golding is my sister and she talks about you all the time."

That really did hit home for Fizz, Tess was one of the three mean girls that tried to make things uncomfortable for her, "I didn't know Tess had a younger sister."

"Well, she does and that just so happens to be me. Oh and by the way, she was right about the fact that you can't read because obviously, you're just too pathetic to even try and read." stated Tess's sister as she waltzed out of the loos and slammed the door so that the whole room shook.

Fizz let out another emotional sigh as she tried to pull herself together. Just staring back at her reflection in one of the mirrors in the loos wasn't going to make things disappear and never return, proper actions needed to be taken.

"I do wish that the caretakers do come and fix that lock soon," spoke Fizz aloud, "Because if they don't, I'm honestly going to keep forgetting about that sign and just walk in and shut the door like normal."   

From the loos, Fizz could hear laughter as a group of students walked up the staircase that lead towards more classrooms and the library.

"I just wish I could be one of those girls laughing but when will that ever happen?" questioned Fizz, "Most likely never."

On leaving the loos, Fizz ducked into the library to read a Jacqueline Wilson book. After all, this was a shaky move but easily achievable. There was nothing that reading couldn't do to upset her or force bad things to happen, getting caught was one thing, getting caught by fellow students was another.

"Thanks to books, I can leave the real world and step into a different world, where nothing bad ever happens," thought Fizz as she flicked through the pages of the book, "But for how long will I be in there for?"

That was simply a question that Fizz didn't know the answer too.