Feelings

Feelings 8/3/15

I had to go to the hospital again. That will make it three times This week. My gallbladder keeps acting up. They just need to hurry up and cut me open so they can get the freaking thing out. I'm tired of being in pain. I can only take so much. It's bad enough that I'm hurt mentally. Cause of broken promises and lies. Why does life Just have to be so cruel?

When I got to the hospital, it's like they were ready For me. I'm famous in that damn place and thats not good.

They had the lady into draw my blood and the nurse with the pain shot and the nausea pill. I hate living this way. I sometimes Just want to give up!

And it doesn't help that the surgeon thats supposed to take out my gallbladder keeps putting the surgery to the side. Cause my liver imzimes are really high. To be here I Could possibly die. My liver imzimes are only through the roof because of my gallbladder.

I bet that if they just hurry up and take it out my liver imzimes would come down significantly.

To be completely honest, unwashed never afraid to die. But with this health problem, I could possibly die. And now I'm afraid. I realize that there's so much I want to do in life still.

I want to be a singer and have a family.

I want to travel the world.

I want to have a normal life.

But knowing that, that might not happen, it's really scary. It's gets you worried.

I'm hoping to have surgery sometime this week. I have an appointment tomorrow with the surgeon and something's telling me that she's just gonna put it off like she's been doing.