Transformers love

Breakdown/Knockout-Scared

I stare out the window to the midnight sky of Cybertron, the moons and stars letting me know that it was around 3 in the morning. I shifted around for what felt like the 20th time that night and ended up starting at Breakdowns face. I carefully angled myself into a slightly more comfortable position, first curling my left leg, then shifting my left arm so it was underneath my pillow then straightening my right leg and putting my right servo around my middle. After settling myself I looked up back to my mate's face, his features soft and smooth with sleep's grip on them. Sometimes I wonder how I made it those few years without him. Sure we were close to ending the war, and with so many drones being injured and flowing into my med bay without stop, it was pretty easy to forget for a while. But there were always the quiet nights in my personal quarters to remind me of all my grief. Always alone in a cold berth with nothing to warm my aching spark but a sad excuse for a mesh blanket. Some nights if I was lucky I would be so busy with injured drones that I wouldn't have time to sleep. but of coarse wars come to an end as do pass time that keep the processor busy, and all my grief came tumbling back to me full force. I was a wreck and I felt no point in living any longer. But when prime sacraficed himself, and made the well open up with all the sparks of recently deceased, my Breakdown came back to me. Looking over to him again as he sleeps, I am again amazed that survived without him.  But before I can reflect more, large arms warped themselves around my frame. Bringing my face to his warm chassis, being able to feel his spark beat and breathing had almost spa like effects on me. "You've been thinking to hard again." His gruff voice said sending warm vibrations down my spine and into my stomach. "How do you know that?" I ask playfully. "
  " your face says it all, as well as your spark." his answer is serious. I make a small sound that should of been a laugh but sounded more like a nervous sob. "How long have you been up?" I ask
" I was up as soon as your spark made small flickers of grief and pain." He then moves his palms up and down my side in a soothing manner. "What were you thinking about, love?" Oh if only it were so easy to put into words, If only feelings could be described by simple letters. How do you describe the pain of loosing half of your life, half of your emotions, half of everything you are?! I start trembling and coolant tears fill my optics. I wrap my arms around as much of him as i can, holding him close to me as if bringing him closer to me will stop him from being torn from me again. While i'm sobbing into his chassis, I feel him wrap himself around my frame, and his helm comes to rest against my own. " I'm here, It's ok." He whispers softly. I know i'm being selfish though. It's so late, and we both need to work in a few more hours, plus i'm not even the one who was offlined! But i want him, I need him. After being apart so long, It feels like my spark will give up if I don't take this time to feel him so close to me. My entire being wants to be close to him. I start Trembling even more now, sobbing, and making  the most embarrassing noises. But never once did Breakdown stop comforting me. Even though he could so easily tell me that I am overreacting and to go to sleep, he doesn't, he takes time to make me feel better. "I'm sorry" I say after a while, it's not the right thing to say, but I don't think I could ever bring myself to admit how destroyed I feel when he isn't here. We have talked about this though, several times in fact. I cry and cling to him like a small sparkling, and he holds me. Sometimes he cries to, other times he stays strong for the both of us. "Knockout," his strong voice brings me back to reality, "relax, I've got you." he thrums his engine as he says this, enveloping  me in his warmth. "Lets take the day off," I whisper "We could just stay in bed and take a slow day."Breakdown hums his approval. He then takes my right servo that still has his waist in a death grip and intertwines our servos. He then moves his body so it's no longer curled around me but instead cradling me. "I think that of we are going to have a slow day we should probably sleep, don't you you think?" Breakdown asks me in an amused tone. I just nuzzle into his neck before humming "mmhmm." I might be scared that the past will repeat it self. But for now, with breakdown holding me in his sleep, everything seems calm.
Authors note:
Hey guys haven't been on in a while but I'm making a come back. Anyway another chapter for this lovely book. And it's my OTP!!!! This was actually very difficult for me to write, because I really wanted it to be almost perfect. So ya comment, vote or (for you people who don't like to do either) stalk on my chapter. Thanks guys!