The Lost Roses

Chapter Six

When I wake up I find myself oddly comfortable and warm. And I feel a weight holding me down. When I look I see I'm back in bed and Lucas is wrapped around me snoring softly. I wiggle around until I'm facing him and watch him sleep. He seems so peaceful and innocent when he's sleeping. I contemplate climbing on him and shoving a pillow over his face and finally ridding myself of the bastard. Of course I don't. I know it wouldn't be worth it. He's stronger than me. He'd just end up killing me. It doesn't matter how much he says he loves me. I turn on my back and lay there staring at the ceiling, drawing patterns on Lucas's bare arm laying on my waist. After some time he starts to move around and I turn to look at him and see he's watching me. I immediately remove my hand from him. I don't think he really likes being touched. Then again I've never really willingly touched him.
"Why were you touching me?" He asks.
"I..I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. I wasn't really thinking. I'm sorry." I start moving to the edge of the bed and away from him. He pulls me right back up to him.
"I want to know why."
"It's just habit I guess. Either finger drawing patterns to myself or someone else. Or someone else doing it to me. It's comforting." I stop there before I tell him any more about my past life than I need to.
"Well you don't have to stop. I like it." I hesitantly move my hand to hover over his and start making the random patterns all over it. After a couple of minutes he makes a noise between a sigh and groan. My hand pauses and I look at him questioningly. His eyes are closed and he's biting his lip. When he notices I've stopped he nods his head for me to keep going. He turns onto his back so I have full access to his chest. He is a fairly attractive guy. He has quite a nice body. And a face that has potential. Still not my type. But not bad looking. He needs a haircut. Maybe if he hadn't of kidnapped me things could be different. I think he could be someone I could actually like. Now...I'm too terrified to do or say anything around him. "What's wrong?" He says holding my hand to pause its movement.
"Nothing. Why?"
"Well you're crying."
"Oh. I hadn't even noticed. It seems to be such a normal thing. I guess..I guess because I was thinking that before, when we were in the pottery shop, you were someone I could fall for. Maybe not exactly my type. But I definitely thought you were cute. Now...I'm terrified of you. The only reason I don't fight you anymore and I've been so well behaved and let you have sex with me is because I know I can't fight back and win. I will always be here. I will be here until I die. I seriously just can't handle it anymore. I'm really close to attempting to kill myself again. I hate these scars from the first time. They're just a constant reminder that things will never be okay again. Hell even if you did let me go, I would never be okay again. Not with other men or with ever letting anyone see my scars. And I'm scared. So, so, so, scared. Not just of you, but because of how I feel about you. Sometimes I think that I could love you. And other times I wish you would just die. The only reason I'm still talking is because I know when I stop you're going to beat me again. So I might as well say everything I wanted to say before. I want those other girls gone. And the baby. I don't like them being here. I don't want to be alone either. But I can't handle the stress of them being here. They need to go home and be happy. Sometimes I feel like we can all have a happily ever after and other times I know there is no possible way. That it wouldn't happen in a million years. And I just want to know why? Why do you have us? Why do you want us? I get it. You're a sadist. Well at one point I could've been your perfect submissive. Without you having to truly break me. And you probably would've been allowed to do a lot more. Honestly..I just don't know anymore. I know I've changed beyond recognition. There are things I can't remember anymore. Things I used to be able to do and now I'm not sure. You know I used to dance? I don't know if I can now. A lot of the time I'm just too tired to move. I just wish I could melt away into nothing. Like when I died. It was just this sweet peaceful floating blackness. Well... I don't really have anything else to say. So...go ahead and beat me." At first he doesn't do anything. He just stares at me. Then he rolls on top of me, kisses me, and goes back to his side.
"You should never be scared to speak to  me."
I laugh hysterically in his face. "Right. I shouldn't be scared of the man who beat me yesterday for telling him how I feel?"
"I like it when you're sarcastic. Feistiness looks well on you.  And I kidnapped you all to fulfill my needs. You specifically, because when I saw you outside that shop I knew I had to have you. I fully intended to stop at seven girls."
"One for each day of the week." I mumble.
"Potentially, yes. To give them each time to heal. Now...I don't know why I have all of you. I really only need or want you. I guess the rest are a 'just in case'. I don't want to lose you. I will get rid of them all. And I will try to change. We can go out on dates and do normal couple stuff. Maybe I'll even let you get a job after a while. When I know I can trust you. Because I do love you Zoey. And because I love you, I have to say this, you would never make a good submissive. I do apologize for breaking you so badly. I hope you can eventually learn to at least tolerate me." The thought of being able to leave this house makes me so happy I leap onto him and kiss him. More deeply than I ever have. And far longer than I'm sure he ever dreamed. When we break apart he looks completely shocked. "Well if I had have known letting you out of the house would have gotten me that I definitely would have let you out sooner." I kiss him again to shut him up. When we break apart for the second time I lay back down in my place on the bed.
"What's your favorite color?" I ask.
"You." I blush at his response. "That color. The color of your cheeks when I embarrass you."
"Well you get to see it frequently.."
"What's yours?"
"Green. Kind of like your eyes. I've actually always had a thing for green eyed guys. Especially if they were tall. Did you mean to get Ashley pregnant?"
"No. That was an accident. She was prostituting herself. She was up for anything. I liked that. No one noticed she was gone. She was kind of in your place before you came along. Was I your first?"
"That's an odd question. But no. I was 17 and he was older and it was a bad idea. I should've waited."
"Thank god. I don't know what I would have done knowing I took that from you too."
"Speaking of taking things...Why did you kill my parents?"
"Kill them? I didn't kill them. They killed themselves. They thought I killed and raped you that night you tried getting away. Although they are both true. They didn't happen the same night. I found out which hotel you were staying at and put their bodies in the hotel room. No one knows about you. I took any trace of you and your things. They're actually here if you want them." He gestures towards the closet. I shake my head. He sees I'm no longer in the talking mood but keeps going anyway. "Whats your favorite movie?"
"Hmmm. I dunno. My favorite genre is horror. That small amount of time of being scared out of your wits but knowing you are safe was always entertaining. I don't think I'll like them anymore. Living a horror movie does that. Comedies are okay. But I'm not in a laughing mood. And romances are always nice. But again..I don't think I'll ever like those again. Coraline or Little monsters. Or the Never Ending Story. I love those three. Coraline is a very good book too. What about you?"
"I like real life more. I've never seen any of those movies. I have however read Coraline and it is a very good book. It's in my library."
"You have a library?"
"In the main house. This is only the guest house. Of course I never have any guests. And when I do I usually give them the big house anyway. I like privacy."
"What? There's a whole different house?"
"Yes. Maybe I'll take you there today. Come and take a shower and then I'll make you breakfast in bed. What would you like?"
"I dunno...let me think about it. I'm not all that hungry right now." Of course at that moment my stomach decides to betray me and growl. We both laugh at that.
"You have a really cute laugh. You should laugh more often. Now come on." He says. I grab his hand and follow him to the bathroom. He turns on the faucet inside and lets the water run and heat up. When he goes to turn on the shower head I put my hand over it and put down the stopper.
"I'd much rather have a bath."
"Well I just thought a shower would hurt less. I'm sorry I hurt you so badly. I guess the thought of letting you go was a bit too much."
"It's fine. Lets just get in." I walk closer to him and untie his pants. I pull them and his boxers down to his ankles. Then I pull off my t-shirt and slip out of my panties. "You kinda have to get in first ya know." I say gesturing to our massive tub. I am so happy this thing has jets in it like a hot tub. It has definitely been a life saver after a beating. He climbs in and I go in after him relaxing against him. I used to be scared to be in the bathroom around him. He did try to drown me once.
"Whats wrong? You just got really tense."
"Sorry. I was just thinking."
"I'm not going to hurt you again." He says holding my chin so I'm looking at him. He leans down and kisses me. He licks my lip asking for entrance and I allow it. Our tongues battle for dominance, and his wins. I turns to face him completely in the tub and straddle his waist. He grabs my hips and lifts me up a bit entering me fully and all at once. I moaned at the feeling. Before we could get too far the bathroom door burst open. And in came a guy similar looking to Lucas. We both freeze and Lucas moves me behind him hiding myself. "Michael! What the fuck! You don't know how to knock? Or maybe even call?"
"Sorry bro. I had no idea. I was just in the area and thought I'd drop by. I..um..I'll be in the living room." He awkwardly shuts the door and I can hear his retreating footsteps.
"Fuck!" He gets up and gets out grabbing a towel and wrapping it around himself. Then he helps me out and hands me one.
"I didn't know you have a brother." I say wrapping my towel around me and stepping out of the bedroom.
"I tend to forget I have one too. He only comes around when he needs something."
"Ummm... Lucas... Won't he think it's a bit odd if I go downstairs without pants. I think I've embarrassed myself enough..."
"Trust me, he was lucky to be able to see you naked. Because it will never happen again."
"Yes sir."
"Like I said you have your clothes here in the closet. Get dressed." He walks out in baggy cargo shorts and a tee. I can't even remember what I packed in my suitcase. Or if anything will fit. I dig around and settle on a flowy blue summer dress. It's kinda short. But it's not as tight around the boobs and waist as it used to be. Wearing a bra feels weird so I take it back off. Hopefully Lucas won't mind too much. I wander down the hall until I find them in the kitchen. Automatically going to Lucas's side. He kind of half steps in front of me as if his brother might attack. Of course I don't mind. I don't like being stared at. And his brother is staring.
"Where did you get all those bruises?" I look at him confused and then remember the beating I received only the night before.
"I fell. Down the stairs. Twice. I don't pay attention enough and I was reading and slipped."
"I already know my brother has a problem with picking fights. He hit you." Before I can deny it any further Lucas speaks up. Glaring at his brother.
"It's none of your business what me or my fiancée do." We both look at him shocked.
"I don't see a ring on her finger." Shit, I don't see one either. But instead of saying that I say,
"I forgot it in the bedroom. You kinda walked in at a surprising moment."
"Well then go get it. I wanna see this ring." I look at Lucas and he gives me no hints as to what I should do. So I walk away and to the bedroom. I search through things in hopes of finding something that could pass as an engagement ring. Of course I come up empty handed. After about ten minutes Lucas comes back to the bedroom and searches through something in the closet. He comes out with a sweater and a black box.
"What did I tell you about not using your head!" He says handing me the sweater. He then kneels in front of me and opens the box. Its a simple golden band with an opal in the center and three small diamonds surrounding the two sides.
"It's gorgeous. Oh my gosh. I don't know yet about marrying you. I hardly know you. But I will accept the ring." He slips the ring onto my finger and it's a perfect fit. He stands up and I jump onto him. He lifts me up into a hug. Then I realize what I'm doing. I've fallen for my captor. The man that has beaten me and raped me and other girls. What was once a way to survive has turned into something completely different.
"Whats wrong?"
"Nothing. Lets go before he thinks we're finishing our festivities from earlier."
"You'll tell me later." I nod and keep walking pulling the sweater that must be his, over me.
"Took you all long enough. What were you doing? Making the ring?"
"Lucas moved it. I hadn't the slightest clue as to where it was."
"Riiight. Whatever. How about we all go to breakfast. I doubt you guys have eaten anything this morning besides each other." In response to that Lucas hurls a shoes at his brother's head and I blush furiously.
"That is not an okay comment."
"Gotcha. Jeeze. Didn't have to whip out your old football skills."
"Football?" I say laughing. Lucas glares at me and I immediately stop laughing.
"Yes, football." He says grabbing me around the waist and kissing me on the head.
"You know it's kinda odd, he never really mentioned you. How long have you guys been together?" Michael asks me when Lucas goes to get my shoes.
"Two years. And I kind of wanted him to keep quiet. I'm not completely sure of how I feel and I'm not sure he is either. I mean I think I love him. And other times I just want to run away."
"I know what you mean. Try growing up with the guy. He can be a real pain sometimes." I nod wishing he knew the half of it.
"Here are you sandals." Lucas says popping back into the room. I jump at the sound of his voice then stand to walk over and grab my shoes. He grabs my arm when I turn to walk away and he pulls me close speaking into my ear. "If you give any hint you aren't happy and keep talking the way you are to my brother, you will not be happy with the consequences. Understood?"
"Yes sir." I mumble. He lets me go and I slip my shoes on.
"You know it's too hot outside for that sweater. You'll burn up." Michael says holding the door open.
"Well I don't want people seeing me like this and thinking I have two big abusive boyfriends. So I'll just have to deal with it."
"No he's right. You should take it off."
"I can't."
"Then stay home." Lucas snaps. My eyes widen in fear at the thought.
"I don't want to. I don't want to be alone." I start having a panic attack and the next thing I know I'm laying on the floor.
"Zoey. Shit. She's not breathing.. Zoey? Can you hear me? I'm not going anywhere. Michael is going to get the food. You don't have to leave and I'll stay here with you." Knowing I'll be okay I start breathing again. Big uneven light headed breathes, and then calmer normal ones. I sit up and get dizzy instantly. I stand up completely and run to the bathroom in our bedroom to puke. Of course running and standing up so quickly only make me more nauseous. Lucas follows me holding my hair behind me so I don't throw up all over it. When I'm finished he hands me a rag to wipe my mouth. Then I get up and brush my teeth. I push Lucas away when he tries hugging me and crawl into bed instead. He lays next to me.
"What's wrong? This morning everything was okay?"
"This morning I was also delirious with the thought that I'd be able to be outside again. God I don't know what I'm doing. I can't love you. You kidnapped me and my parents and all those girls. You've beaten us and raped me. I just... can't." I start crying. And instead of getting upset he just pulls me closer and lets me cry myself to sleep on his chest. His heart beat is what eventually drifts me off. That and his warmth. I always seem to be cold now.

~~~~What do you think will happen next? Tell me what you're thinking! If it sucks, tell me. Anywho. That man there is Lucas's lovely brother.~~~~