In The Dark

1

What if the world and everything around you was a figment of your imagination? Who would you trust? What questions would you ask yourself once everything went wrong in your perfect little world? More importantly, who would you blame?
It isn't obvious to say the least. But it's not exactly my fault either.
No one really cares enough to help anyway. Aside from my closest friend, Gerard. To be honest, my family thinks he's not real. But seeing as he's the only one I have to talk to, I don't really seem to care. What made reality so normal anyway?
What's the point in caring about anything, if it will all be taken away eventually? Sanity included.
The golden words of a high school dropout. Who fucking cares?
"Isn't that your third cigarette today?" Gerard asks, once again popping up out of nowhere. He does that a lot, no matter how many times I tell him it's annoying. That sneaky fucker.
"No. My second. But a third one sounds like a good idea." I humorlessly laugh as I let out a puff of smoke through my lips. It feels good to sense the self destructive smoke in my lungs. Heavy like an anchor, but not enough to keep me grounded.
"I don't even know how you managed to live this long, with how much you smoke." He crosses his arms over his chest, standing over me while I lay on my bed. "It should be a miracle you got to 17."
"Vegetarians, Gee. We live like less disgusting roaches." I laugh again, this time I felt a smirk at the corner of my lips.
"I think you're talking about vegans."
I'm about halfway through the cigarette when I sit up, and run a hand through my hair. It made me realize I desperately needed a shower. "Same thing, doesn't matter."
"Yeah whatever." He sits down next to me, looking pensive with a slight slouch as he always had. "Have you called Mikey? I'm pretty sure you haven't seen him once in the 7 months since you dropped out."
"No." Truth is, I had completely forgotten to call him. Seems like time flies when you're a complete loser. "I'll go see him today." Mikey was my childhood best friend until ninth grade. I knew him before Gerard ever came into the picture. I don't even know what happened. Seems like that tends to happen to me alot. Maybe that's why Gerard exists. He's basically a carbon copy of Mikey, aside from the physical aspects of him. If you really think about it, Gerard could basically be his brother. Though seeing as Mikey never met Gerard, it would be difficult to tell him that. It would have been interesting to see Mikey actually have a brother. That tall bastard was more deserving of one than anyone I know. I understand more than anyone what it's like to be an only child. It's lonely as fuck, I can tell you that much.
"Or just go now? It's not like you've lost both of your legs."
"What's with you and seeing Mikey today? It's not like he's dying or something." Last time I heard he might have overdosed on some heavy drug. No one knows what, but I actually miss him.
"Just get your angsty rotten lung piece of ass ready and go see him. I'm not your mom." He shoves my shoulder. Though it hardly does anything, I get up anyway, and walk over to my closet as I placed the cigarette back into my mouth. So much for doing what I want today.
"Maybe while I'm out, you'll get a damn haircut. You haven't changed your hair in three years." I chuckle. His greasy black hair was getting ridiculously long. It seems like every time I tell him about it, it goes over his head and he ignores it.

"I'll do what I want with it. Shut up." And just like that, he disappears again. What an ass.

By the time I finish getting ready and make my way towards mom's car, I see Gerard again, sitting in the passenger seat. He was smiling while he waited for me to get in. For some unknown reason, he was happy. Which is usually a good thing, because he gets unbearable in a car ride when he's in anything short of a good mood.
We played smashing pumpkins the whole way there, and for awhile it felt good to be out again. Staying in for months on end doesn't exactly help when it comes to mentally keeping track of a social life. Or what's left of it.
I'm pulling into Mikey's drive way when I hear music blasting from his second story window. He was never one to be discreet with his music taste. Either that or his parents aren't home.
Assuming I am right about his parents not being home, and remembering his reckless habit of accidently leaving the front door unlocked, I let myself in. He'll definitely shit his pants when I walk into his room. Which is always an interesting sight to see.
My assumption was right, about his parents being gone to say the least. Mikey is dancing and head banging to an Anthrax record when I walk into his room. He doesn't even notice me standing in his doorway until the song ends, enjoying how much he's made a fool of himself. Though I can't say the same, but at least I have a guitar in my hands while doing so.
"Frank? What are you doing here?" He asks, breathlessly confused while stopping the next song from playing.
"Haven't seen you in months. I thought maybe it would be cool to hang out again." I give him my best lopsided smile and sit on the edge of his bed. "Or has Anthrax replaced me?"
"No. I just..." He trails off, and fixes up his hair. The new blonde look suit him better than I expected.

"I thought you forgot about me. You're the one who stopped talking to me after dropping out. I figured you moved out of the state or something."
He wasn't wrong about how I stopped talking to him. To be honest, ever since ninth grade, nothing ever seemed to be the same between us. We drifted apart for some reason. Though we didn't stop being friends. We just... stopped being best friends. I quickly realized that after seeing him hang out more with two other guys named Ray and Bob. It's not like I'm upset over it, considering we're not conjoined twins. Of course he has his own life and I... Well, I don't. But he doesn't know that. At least he has graduation to think about aside from me.
"I can't afford to move out of Jersey. Maybe someday, but not yet. Anyways, you and I need to seriously start hanging out again. Being at my mom's all the time is driving me insane."
"I don't think that's what's causing it." Gerard suddenly appears again, this time he's sitting on Mikey's bed, reading another comic. He's smirking at his seemingly amusing comment as he flips to another page in the book.
I ignore him, trying to continue my not half bad conversation with Mikey.
"Remind me why you dropped out of school again?" Mikey laughs as he looked through a small CD shelf on top of his desk.
"Because fuck private school. That's why."