In The Dark

2

Am I humble or self pitying, if I admit how much of a piece of shit I am? I've lost count of how many people shut the metaphorical door of friendship on me. Even more when it comes to relationships. Don't even get me started with that. Everyone, except Mikey. I can't tell if he's more fucked up than I am to even still consider me a friend. Or if he's just being nice. At this point, I don't even want to know. "You look like shit." Mikey states as he took the cigarette from my hand and breathed in as much as he could. I couldn't tell if he was more stressed out or tired. He hid alot of things pretty well, but never behind a smile. When he said that with a half smile, I knew he wasn't in much better shape than I was.
"You too, Mikes." I chuckle, it seems like forever ago since the last time I called him that. To be honest, it felt awkward to be around him again. He seemed to become a completely different person.
"Insults as compliments... that's a new one." Gerard appears again. "What's next? Are you two going to start trading each other's bra secrets?" Did I mention how unbearable he sometimes gets?
"You're a bitch, you know that?" I say to him, hoping it would make him leave again. But it doesn't, Gerard just rolls his eyes. It only slightly pisses me off.
"Why? You're the one who ditched me." Mikey states at me confused and clearly offended. It should have been obvious that I didn't mean for him to take offense. Gerard was just in his moods again.
"I wasn't really talking about you. Just an asshole I know." And I say that without glancing at Gerard, but I expect him to get that I meant him.
"Right.. Who?" Mikey stares at me with an eyebrow raised.
"No one important." I don't really feel like explaining how my friendship with Gerard worked. Sometimes he is an ass and sometimes he's... tolerable.
"Hm, okay."
"No one important? Pfft. As if you have anyone else left to deal with you." Gerard is clearly upset, but I ignore him. It's moments like these were I wonder why I'm even friends with him at all.
"There's this girl who asked about you the other day." Mikey says as he took the last drag of the cigarette. "I think her name was Jamie or something like that."
Someone asking about me was off to say the least, but I never let myself get intrigued by those things. They ever only led to disappointment. At least in some form, I'm not sure which will be in this case. "Doesn't ring a bell."
"No wait. Jamia. That's what it was. She's the girl who always hung out with Ray and Lindsey." He laughs for a short moment. "You used to get mad when she called you Frankenweenie."
It's at this moment when Gerard bursts out laughing, and I can't hate Mikey more than in this moment. I know Gerard wouldn't let me hear the end of it.
"Oh right.. As if she couldn't pick a more humiliating name." I said in a slightly amused tone as I realized who he was talking about. To be honest, it doesn't really bother me now. It was just stupid banter. Why it bothered me soo much back then is a mystery.
"She was just joking around. Probably trying to get at you." He winks at me and laughs.

In all honesty, I couldn't think of her in that way. Nor anyone for that matter. I mean, I won't deny that she was pretty but not my type. If I had one. Do I?

"Homo." Gerard whispers, and yet again he's mocking me. Doesn't he have anything better to do?

"Probably. But she's not my type." The cigarette was finished and all we had left to do was stare at the nothingness of our neighborhood street. The sun was still at it's peak but the small breeze kept us from feeling most of the heat. 

The thought of her asking about me left me wondering though. If someone in my life as insignificant as her was wondering about me, what did that say about the ones that held more importance? Did they ask too? Or did they just shrug things off like they did with most things that usually lost their interest. 
"Funny, how she said the same thing." Mikey chuckles for a moment. "Right after asking a few questions about you."
"That's enough about her." I manage to give him a small grin before standing up from the concrete porch. 
"Right, well, she invited me to her party this weekend, maybe you should come." 
Gerard laughs again, I don't know why this time. Something in me wanted to go but at the same time, a party didn't seem to fit me. I mean, come on! I didn't drop out just to be that lame guy who still goes to the high school parties... years after leaving school. Even though I'm not 18 yet, I don't want to start now. 
"You know what? Nevermind. I'm not even going to ask." Mikey stands up too, fixing his hair and dusting off his pants. "You owe me for ditching before the end of the year. You're going."
Did I mention how much of a pain in the ass my friends are?