What Are You, Exactly? (BXB) [ON HOLD]

Chapter 1

Exan's POV

"We're here, Exan." My mother said, interrupting my negative thoughts that were clouding my mind. I nodded, not really giving a damn.

I feel like a souless corpse, wandering around the crowded streets of New York. Even my family members felt like stranger. Why are we even here in New York? It would be so much better if we lived there, I'd be able to die at least. Exan thought again. It's not like I could stop the negative thoughts.. They come naturally if you've been having low self-esteem since.. I guess, forever?

"Exan. Get the luggages." I nodded blankly, wanting to just get this over and done with. I took the luggages out of the trunk, it would be heavy to normal people. But not to me. To me, it just felt like temporary burden that would soon be out of my grasp. After laying the luggages on the wooden floor of our new house with a thump, I began truly looking around.

Well now, this place seems.. Nice? It gives off the homey image, not exactly to my preferred tastes but whatever. I can't be picky.

I see my mother smiling warmly at me. Did she think I'd like it? I give off a small smile of politeness and my mother seemed to be happier after that. I will never get parents' ways of thinking. Are they just like everybody else's? But then why'd they accept me being gay?

I decide not to think of these thoughts anymore, they're giving me a headache.

"Come, Exan. I'll lead you to your room!" My mother giggled as she practically skipped down the hallway. I nodded, following her like a lost puppy. She eventually led me to a room that had blue painted walls and a black and white bed. There was also a desk that was blue and white. I don't like this room. It feels too much like heaven.

"I'll leave you on your own now honey, remember, lunch is at two. So, you have three hours from now." She giggled whenever she finished a word. I nodded blankly. Which I always do as my response whenever my parents asked me something or for something. My mom trotted out of my room, probably eager to make lunch. She loved cooking and baking.

I took my luggage to my room, immediately taking out my laptop and setting it on my desk. I wonder if this house has wifi? I switch on my laptop and stare at the desktop. I look over to my wifi icon. I see a wifi called 'The Morelns' so I guess there's wifi? I call my father for the wifi's password and get it after a quick explanation of why I wanted it. My dad didn't seem to trust me too much. He's the kind who hated dramatic people yet my mother is dramatic. Extremely dramatic, I mean. I don't know why he married her but whatever, that's their love story, not mine. I won't have a love story anyway. Who'd want a souless corpse walking around their house staring into space?

I type in the password and immediately get the wifi icon plastered on the bottom right of my laptop's desktop. I played a bit of AVA before realising it was one thirty. I'm not a gamer, I just play them casually to pass my life's time. I don't really have any meaning for my life afterall.

Logging off AVA, I went down to get a Monster drink before realising that I was in a new house. That had no Monster drinks. Shouting a quick goodbye and explanation as to why I was heading out, I grabbed my wallet and put on my converse. It was autumn, not exactly too cold nor too hot? It was perfect for my hoodie. I liked my hoodie, it hid who I was. Well, that is, physically I mean.

I head to the nearest convenience store, meaning I walked the same direction until I reached a convenience store. Which wasn't too long, only about 10 minutes.

I grab a carton of Monster drinks and pay for it. The cashier's eyes widened and stared at me suspiciously. That's alright, they always do that. "Thirty-two dollars." She sneered at me. I handed her the money and went home with my carton of Monster.

"Exan, it's lunch in 5!" I nodded and put my Monster drinks in the fridge, settling into my seat at the dining table. Soon the table was full of food. Food to me - it's just a needed energy for life. I don't even want life, but it feels like Earth is always pushing you to eat food. There are restaurants and cafes everywhere afterall.

I took a bit of everything and set it on my plate, proceeding to my room after that. My parents heeded no mind to me, chatting lively with each other and their eyes shining with life. Unlike me. They looked like a lovely newly wed couple.. I shouldn't be here, disturbing them.

Eating my food quietly in my room wasn't actually too much effort. The food tasted void, it always does. Going back down to put the plate in the sink, I went back to my room immediately after doing so.

Reading some stories on Wattpad, I stumble upon 'Please Don't Reject Me'. It was interesting, but held too much drama between Eric and Colin. Eric should just man up, he's being absolutely ridiculous. I scoffed and turned off my laptop, refusing to see anymore of Eric's stupidity.

I looked at my digital alarm clock placed on my desk, it was showing 5:40. I told my mother to leave me out of dinner tonight and went to sleep. It'll do me good tomorrow when they utterly destroy me.

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Are you liking Exan so far? I'm sorry if he seems too dark, that's just how he is... ^^; There's Exan on the image by the way! But a little younger looking. Jusstttt a little. :)
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