Avengers: Behind the Uniform

Tony and Clint "Help" Out

"Hey Tony, could you grab me that file?" Steve said without turning from what he was doing.

Tony Stark sauntered over, coffee in hand and no file in sight. Steve sighed and got up to go get the file. Tony sat down in his seat and, when he raised his cup to drink, spilled the coffee all over Steve's work because he was so surprised at what he saw. Steve still had his back turned because he was looking for the file so he didn't know why Tony's voice was filled with so much mischief when he said, "Oh Stevie. What are you doing this weekend?"

Steve frowned, his hands still searching for the file. "What do you mean?"

Tony smirked, "Just be at the Italian restaurant at 8 o'clock tonight, okay?"

Steve turned around, confusion scrawled across his face. "And why would I do that?"

But the chair was empty, Tony was gone and the coffee was dripping from the table onto the ground.

"God dammit, Stark, you spilt your pumpkin spice latte everywhere."

"For gosh sake, watch your language, Rogers." Stark's voice came from downstairs where he was standing at his foaming machine, making another 'pumpkin spice latte'.

***

Clint rapped on the door of Natasha's room. One. Two. Three.

"Alright, alright. I'm coming."

She opened the door, already decked out in her usual jeans and tank top. She took one look at his face and said, "No."

Clint's smile faltered. "But you don't even know what I'm going to say yet."

She sighed and turned away, closing the door. "Whatever it is, I've got better things to do."

"Yeah, like what?" He caught the door with his foot.

"Like stealing Thor's pop tarts and watching reruns of Friends."

His brow furrowed in sadness for her. Ever since Bruce had left, no one had been the same, but Natasha most of all. He put a hand out to open the door further and the other to grab Natasha's shoulder. She didn't move but that, Clint thought to himself, was a good thing as it meant she wasn't leaving. He walked in and faced her.

"Look. I know you're having a hard time but you still have us, alright? And besides, I have something tonight that will cheer you up."

Her eyebrow arched up, as if to say Oh really? and he knew he had her.

***

Tony walked in to Steve's room at exactly seven-forty-eight pm and tutted at what he saw. The Captain was in jeans, a shirt and a leather jacket. Perfect for the worst first date ever. He huffed in disgust and immediately told JARVIS to send over something more formal. Steve glanced at him in confusion before going back to scratching his pencil over his notebook drawing god knows what. The clothes zipped into Cap's wardrobe and Tony took it off the rack, shoved the clothes into Steve's face and then told him to get changed. Steve being the gracious, refined gentlemen he was did so but another part of the reason may have been because he didn't want Stark to look at what he was drawing.

"Remind me, again, why I'm wearing your Armani suit?" Steve said drily as he shrugged on the black silk shirt. Yeah, he thought, black is more Tony's colour.

Tony positively giggled at the word 'Armani' and fussed over how Steve was 'coming along fine' with his knowledge of 'the modern age'. Steve just rolled his eyes and continued doing up the buttons. After much conundrum (most of which was Tony walking around Steve and pulling the suit around, tucking and untucking the collar, trying on different coloured ties and combing his hair), Steve finally came to the conclusion that Tony Stark was crazy. And not just in the kind of crazy you call a genius or the affectionate crazy you call you're slightly weird friend. No, Tony Stark was plain, old-fashioned, locked-up-in-an-asylum, crazy.

Finally, Steve couldn't take it anymore so he turned to Tony, who was gelling his hair, and said, "What the hell are you doing here?!"

Tony looked shocked. He put his hand over his heart and said, "My, my, Steve Rogers, do you kiss you're mother with that mouth?"

Steve groaned and put his head in his hands. That's never going away, is it.

***

At exactly 8:11 pm, Natasha Romanoff walked through the back door and towards the private booth which either Clint or Tony had reserved. Probably Tony considering his credit details had more commas than Clint's. As she approached, she saw the back of a golden head, broad, muscular shoulders and an air around the person which she knew well. Her spine stiffened, her shoulders straightened further and her mouth set into a wry quirk of the lips. She did not like being set up. As her heels clicked towards the booth, the golden head turned. The blue eyes widened.

"Hello Steve. Fancy seeing you here the exact same time as I am," she said as she slid into her seat opposite.

"Oh god," he sighed not-so-good-naturedly. "I am going to kill Stark."

She allowed herself a little smile at that. "Don't worry, I'll take care of Barton too."

He seemed a little uncomfortable and wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Would you like it if I called Sharon down instead?" her voice carried no feeling other than playful teasing but inside, she secretly hoped he would say -

"Uh no, that's fine. I'm sorry, um, you look amazing. As always."

She smiled, a real smile, or the closest she's ever gotten to one. "You don't look too bad yourself, Captain."

Steve blushed and looked back towards the menu. "So, while we're here, do you want to just order something?"

"Sure," she said, "But this isn't a date." He looked up and opened his mouth to say something along the lines of I never thought it was a date but she interrupted. "Don't get your hopes up, Rogers."

***

Tony and Clint listened in to their conversation from back at the Avengers Tower. Tony had planted a bug on the suit that Cap was wearing so they could hear everything.

"Oh this is soooooo good," Tony chuckled.

Clint grinned mischievously back, "Yeah, it's worth the death threat from both of them, isn't it?"

Tony hesitated. His fingers hovered over his keyboard hesitantly. Just as he was turning to assure Barton that he had nothing to worry about, Romanoff's voice interrupted him.

"Hello Stark. I know you planted a bug on Rogers and I want you to turn it off now before I get mad. And Clint, you too. You either turn it off or I come up there right now."

Tony turned it off.

After an awkward pause, Clint said, "That was weak, man."