The Motions

12 - selfish me

Jackie December 6, 1963

Hand in hand Bobby and I make our way to jacks bedside, his face tinted with the slightest bit of color, his eyes closed lightly.
"Jack?" I ask in a shaky voice releasing my grip from Bobby.
His eyes open lightly and scan the room landing on me, I crack an uneasy smile and he returns with a weak smile- the kind where you don't show your teeth.
"I'll leave you two," Bobby said exiting the room leaving Jack and I.
"Jackie?" He started in a scratchy voice "How long have I been-"
"Fourteen days." I cut him off
He nodded, this encounter is much more awkward than expected.
"Jack what are you doing?" I ask as he struggles to get up.
"I h-have a j-Job to do j-Jackie" he says struggling to talk.
I put my hands on his shoulders and help lay him down
"You need to rest besides you're not--" I stop myself
He looks up at me puzzled
"I'm not what Jackie?"
I nervously tuck my hair behind me ears
"Well you're not ah president anymore Jack they um took your power away...." I said trying not meet his glance
"Y-you're joking?"
"Well they didn't know how long you would be asleep for and the doctor said it was dangerous to wake you up...but you can run again!" I chocked out looking at his disappointed face he'd worked his whole life for this.
"Well w-who didn't let them w-wake me up?" He ask with rage in his eyes
"Well....me."
He looked out the window for a few minutes
"So this is your fault? That I'm not president?" He asked looking at me
"Waking you....you could have died Jack I--"
"T-this job was m-my l-life."
I looked down at my lace clad hands
"Oh..."
He rubbed his forehead
"Oh is right, h-how could you be so selfish?"
I looked back at him
"Selfish?"
"Y-yeah you may have ruined my political c-career."
I bit my lip and tried to find some twisted way we're this would be my fault.
"Selfish?" I asked again shocked
"Jackie don't y-you understand A-America needs me not L-Lyndon."
"Jack I don't think you understand the danger of waking you up would have caused."
"It's a chance I would be willing to take."
I paced the room
"So Caroline, John, and I? We're just the pieces to the political puzzle? Are we nothing to you?" I spit at him getting more and more furious with every word
"But America--"
"But us Jack! America needs you? Your children need you! If you died were would that leave us?"
He bit the inside of his check and looked up at me
"What do you want me to say Jackie?"
I opened my mouth astonished
"You know what I cannot do this anymore." I said picking up my coat off the chair
"Do what?" He asked annoyed
"This marriage." His eyes opened widely
"Say it again."
"I cannot do this marriage anymore."
He struggled to sit up again
"Whys t-that?"
"Because I don't know the self centered unfaithful excuse of a man sitting in front of me."
I said shutting the door and leaving. As I left I expected to feel pain or regret but I felt better, I felt like I could breathe again. I slipped my glove off and and starred at the jewel that has been the cause of every heart break and slide it off my finger. I hold my wedding ring in the palm of my hand before opening my hand and letting it fall to the ground.
I get in one of the cars parked outside of the White House
"Where too Mrs. Kennedy?"
"It's Mrs. Bouvier and Vegas."
The car started away as I flicked on the radio I came about the opposite type of music a First Lady should be listening to, so I cranked it higher.

You know I'm a dreamer
But my heart's of gold
I had to run away high
So I wouldn't come home low
Just when things went right
It doesn't mean they were always wrong
Just take this song, and you'll never feel left all alone
Take me to your heart
Feel me in your bones
Just one more night
And I'm comin' off this
Long & winding road
I'm on my way
I'm on my way
Home sweet home

I smile to myself and twirl my hair
I'm on MY way
I'm on MY way to happiness I thought as the guitar ripped through the speakers. And there is no way I'm going back.

A/N
Hopefully unpredictable chapter. The song is Home Sweet Home by Mötley Crüe and I know it came out in 1985 but I was planning on using the lyrics to tie together the next part so I just decided to have it play on the radio it's a good song you should listen to it I put the video above.....
Ill try to update soon