INFLICT "28 KISSES" Book Two

XXV.AS YOU ARE

It had been a almost a month since I'v last seen Abel he had been on his tour. I would be lying if I said i trusted him because I didn't, I don't. There was still a part of me that felt like I was forcing him into this monogamist relationship shit even this damn marriage. So, how could I really trust him if this wasn't what he really wanted in the beginning. I mean yeah true enough he loves me but I'm sure a kid and a wife was no where in the plans. But we were here and there was still alot of damage that had been inflicted on both of our parts. I've hurt him and he's hurt me numerous times but I still stayed I still felt that he was mines and I knew for sure I was his and he made sure to leave his mark to remind me.

I sat daydreaming as I unpacked the boys clothes and toys. We had finally moved everything in the house and this was the last of the boxes. Inside I smiled but I was missing something, I was missing real happiness. I felt empty I felt abandoned by everything and everyone I've ever known. Abel was supposed to fill that void but yet he only made it bigger. Don't get me wrong I know that I allowed whatever it was that he douched out to me but he did the same. I felt as if I was sacrificing my own happiness for his. I had nothing left for myself because I gave it all away when I feel in love with him and took the dark unsetlling road instead of the bright road with fulfilment. My solitude had been ripped right from up under me and I didn't put up a fight I watched as he took it. I guess you can say I took the pleasure and took it with the pain. I knew when we first became acquainted that he was a man of his own and the women trailed behind them and if you fell in love he tend to leave you behind. At this moment I wish he had done that to me because my sanity and my womanhood were stripped down to nothing.

A tear rolled down my cheeks as I stared blankly into space wondering what my life would be like if he had just fled. I was to frail and greedy to let him go when I had the chance before the baby before my heart fell. I had made my bed and it was a bitch laying in it.

After getting the kids settled in and giving baths I ironed Samuels clothes he had started the 4th grade and was adjusting very well. I had put him in a private school and he was in the gifted program for Science, technology and business. I didn't want him to lose his intellect being in a public school that didn't offer him any stimulation. I was proud of him and was glad he got the genes of the Trotters although I don't know Sam's IQ. I needed something to shred my thoughts of Abel anything to get him out of my mind.

I sat in the oversized master bedroom on the settee that I had bought since the bed looked like a spec in the middle of the room. Aioki helped me decorate it in a moraccan theme. The canopy bed was covered with plum and fushia curtains. Huge turquoise and ocean blue pillows with gold trimming. I had a full body mirror in the nook corner, a small rack for my many books by the window seat.

I sunk down into the jaccuzi that accented the middle of the bathroom floor the smell of lavender and mint gave me some relaxation. The sound of his voice softly escaping the newly installed Beats pill speakers made my heart race. All thoughts came flooding back as his words stung me. Why could'nt I've been there to love him before they all loved him? They only wanted him for his potential while I gave him the potential to feel real love. He had been different too different and whatever he was before I'm not sure if he really changed all that much.

The door creeked open behind me and I sat up hoping it was him. I had been plagued by his absence that him being here would lay them to rest.

Her hands gently touched my shoulders as she massaged them my body went limp under her submission. She continued while I marveled at her hands they moved around with such elegance that I yearned to be touched without being felt because when they felt me they wouldn't let me go. Her lips lightly brushed against my neck line as her breath tickled the nap of my neck. A moan escaped my mouth.