Broken

Chapter Four

michael's POV

Blake was supposed to come over after school today to work on our project and I was slightly nervous. I spent the night before lying awake until the early hours of the morning feeling a mix of anxiety and nervousness. I wasn't sure if those feelings were basically the same or not, but that's how I would describe it. I liked to put up this tough guy exterior, but it was usually easier when I kept to myself. I haven't really laughed or smiled much in a long ass time, but hanging out with Blake yesterday I actually did and it felt really fucking good. Mostly though, I was worried whether she was going to judge my living condition. I didn't want to go to her house because I wasn't prepared to see some fancy ass house that she probably has, she looked like the kind of kind hearted person that should should have a house like that because they deserve that shit. I just had this image in my mind of the type of girl Blake was and all her belongings and I was intimidated by it. I woke up this morning with a slightly brighter attitude than usual and it was strange. I got out of bed feeling oddly refreshed for the little amount of sleep I got and immediately went over to my closet and got dressed, for the first time since I can remember taking longer than five seconds to pick out what I wanted to wear because I actually cared about how I was going to look. I took out the nicest clothes I owned, which in reality were just a pair of black skinny jeans and a band shirt that weren't ripped and completely worn out, and quickly changed into them. I laced up my black converse and looked at myself in the mirror. Something about me looked different, but I couldn't quite figure out what it was. I left my house and went to school, ready to start the day. The first two periods went by pretty normally and quickly, with my usual quiet self finishing all my work, and then it got to be third period English. I anxiously made my way to class, pushing the heavy door labeled C8 open and making my way over to my desk, setting my backpack up by my feet and taking out a pencil from the little side compartment. I folded my hands in my lap and waited for class to begin. When the final bell rang I watched Blake rush in through the door, looking disheveled and basically a mess. She flopped down into her desk and threw her backpack on the ground, attempting to fix her hair for a second before giving up and looking up at the teacher who had barely noticed her dramatic arrival. We spent the class period writing an essay based on a prompt my teacher had up on the board. The topic was fairly simple, so I took my head phones out and plugged them in, zoning out shortly while I wrote. When the final bell rang I gathered all my things together and tentatively made my way over to Blake's desk. She looked up at me and her expression softened. 

"So," I began shakily, coughing to clear my throat, "are you still coming over today?" She kind of half smiled at me and nodded.

"Of course." She replied. She threw her bag over her shoulder and stood up. We both made our way to the door and stopped outside glancing at each other.

"I'll see you after school?" She asked. I nodded and she turned around, heading off to her next class. Before she was completely gone she looked back one last time and called over her shoulder, "I'll meet you at the student parking lot!" And with that she disappeared into the crowd of rushing teenagers. I started off in the opposite direction where my class was and shoved my hands into my pockets, trying my best to avoid running into annoying ass slow people in the hallways. The rest of the day I was kind of different, in a way. I don't know what had gotten into me, but I was actually answering questions the teacher asked and shit like that. I wasn't necessarily interacting with my fellow classmates, because lets face it about 90% of them were just bound to be complete assholes I really didn't want to associate with, but this kind of thing was definitely not normal for me. Every teacher whose question I answered corrected shot me an impressed and moderately shocked look. I guess I was just feeling a little more self confident today and it was actually a great feeling. As the day went on I felt myself getting less and less nervous to hang out with Blake. I don't normally let people in, but maybe I should. Maybe it won't be as bad as I've thought all these years. If there was one thing I new, from a mixture of social media and conversations I hear on a daily basis in the halls of the hell I call my school, is to definitely not suggest watching Netflix at any point while we're hanging out. Netflix n chill typically doesn't have a good ending.

a lil short, but a good cut off point so study date or whatever you want to call it will be next chapter  :-)))