Chasing the Stars

Shooting Stars

Looking up at the stars gave me this sense of wonder, maybe you're stressed or tired or lonely or confused and there they are shining down at you. There are so many, just like there are so many people on earth, but some of the stars are a part of something bigger, they join together to form constellations or far off galaxies, some are planets in themselves. Humanity is very similar most of us insignificant but the few that build into groups and achieve miracles, leave an eternal mark. Then there are people with so much power or wisdom or kindness that although they are alone they achieve such greatness. I want to be one of those people, I think everybody does, but it's normally the people that don't strive for power or to be remembered, that go down as the hero.

So much had happened over the past few days. I'd made friends, I saw three people die, I travelled half of Germany, I experienced two bombings, and had to see the crushing pain in someone's eyes when their worst nightmare turns into glaring reality. I hated what had happened over the last few days, but I would never take it back, it has taught me the truth about the world, and I have finally made friends. Nevertheless I still felt this crushing fear that something horrific were to come my way, it was so strong that it weighed down on my shoulders and was choking me. Why was I still human in the truck?

"Thank you." I heard a voice mutter from behind me. I spun my head around, nearly falling off the steep ledge I was sitting on. I was welcomed by dark black hair, hung other loose black dress, as Carmilla gracefully thudded to the ground. We sat in silence for a while, rocking back and forth to the hypnotic sound of the wind.

"I can't believe we're in Switzerland. We've made it so far." I said, trying to stay optimistic.

"I know." Carmilla murmured, looking down at the floor. I felt a tinge pass through me seeing her like this.

"What's the problem?" I questioned.

"It's just I'll... m.. It's nothing." She replied, forcing a smile.

There was silence again. We both watched the stars. I wanted to chase the stars and not follow the streetlights, but I didn't know which was what. Was staying the streetlights because I didn't have the possibility to end up with no one? Was staying the stars because I had to forget about my family and constantly be on the run? Who would always be there for me? I don't know.

My hands started shaking and I kept being crushed by this fear that something horrific was going to happen, that I wasn't going to find my family, and I'm questioning if I want to, because I finally have friends, I'm finally free, but whatever my brain told me, my heart needed my family.

I felt warm hands grasp mine. "Are you okay? You're shaking." Carmilla asked.

"I don't know. I've started to feel like what I'm trying to achieve is like chasing the stars. Romanticised, yet horrifically saddening. What happens if I don't find them? What do I do then? No leads, nothing." I stammered.

"You won't be alone. You'll have us. You'll have me. I'll come with you right to the front door." She encouraged, squeezing my hands.

"I know. But I have this crushing fear that something horrible is going to happen."

"My grandmother used to tell me; "don't be scared of the dark, because in the dark, you will find the brightest light." And I don't know what it meant to her but to me it means not to be afraid of fear or sadness or troubled times, because in that darkness you will find the people who will always be there for you."

"Did you used to be scared of the dark?"

"Petrified." She laughed, "But now I've grown too fond of the stars to be fearful of the night."