Broken Rules - Phan

Part 4

It was a difficult night for me. I was exhausted, but terrified of the day that was to follow. I guess, maybe, I thought that not sleeping would put it off. But that was stupid, all it was going to do was make me even more distressed. However that seldom seemed to matter as whenever I closed my eyes, I felt sick and scared. Not scared of the rising bile in my throat, I closed my eyes and let the night take me.

I woke in the morning to the sound of my alarm yelling at me. It was five in the morning and I pulled myself out of bed to be met with a deep and painful pang in my head. Head rush.

I moved towards the mirror, adjusting my light grey hoodie over my black Muse t-shirt. Pulling my black skinny jeans over my converses, I sighed and ruffled my hair. I'd always been told I was a very pretty boy, I had wavy brown hair, that I would usually straighten, brown eyes, I was tall and lanky and I was very well proportioned. However, back when I was that age I was very aware of how I looked and I didn't like it much at all.

The sky outside my window was a pastel orange colour and the clouds seeped a pink glow. The colours poured through the window and I sat on my bed. I wondered about Phil. He was making me feel ill and I didn't even know him. My stomach was turning inside me, however I tried to push it all back to bask in the colours. This hardly felt like something a seventeen year old boy should be worried about. PJ was probably worried about his next art project and Chris was probably worried about what his next punishment would be and if it was worth sex; it probably was.

The fountain dripped water as it had been turned off and the benches looked darker in the morning glow. My hands were sweating and I could feel my shirt clinging to my tummy. I took a long intake of breath and fumbled with my fingers, I breathed out and tried to channel serenity through my veins.

But it was hard. I'd been told so much about reformers I couldn't think of anything good. What if he hurt me? Stabbed me or something? What if he made me come into his room and he forced me to breathe in the dank, musty air? Carrie had a reformer and now she has a scar sliced across her face and counselling. What if that was me? I started to lose my composure, not that I had much in the first place. And my breaths were more jagged than a row of sharks teeth.

I walked towards the gate, my hands trembling and my stomach churning. My mouth felt dry and my anxiety was running higher than ever. I saw the black car outside the thick black gate. My hands were gaining moisture as I was losing composure. I waited and the car door opened, I looked at my feet, the feeling in me was all wrong and I heard the gate clunk open.

I looked up to be met with a tall lanky boy who stared at me, straight into my eyes. It took me a second to realise that I was staring too. We were both staring as the gates opened. His eyes were blue, probably the bluest I've ever seen. He had an air of intelligence about him, one that I couldn't quite place. His fingers were long and slim, just like his body.

It's strange to remember this was the first time I'd seen him. The first time I'd taken him all in. Because now, it feels like I'd known him forever, it feels like there was never a time that we were apart. It feels like we are a circle, no end or beginning. But I guess, when something that big impacts you, something that strong, it's hard to ignore it.

He had the most amount of piercings I'd ever seen, a sleeve of tattoos, a gengar t-shirt, dark black hair that littered his forehead gracefully and tight fitting jeans. For some reason my eyes drifted downwards and after I'd realised what I'd done, my cheeks flushed red and my mouth was gaping. My eyes locked on his again, his tongue wiped his bottom lip and he bit it as it transformed into a smirk,
"I'm- I'm- I'm so so-" I splutterd, the red simply pouring from my cheeks,
"Well, this is going to be fun," he smiled as he traced me with his eyes, "Daniel Howell."

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Punk Phil is punk
Hot Phil is hot
Nervous and slightly homo Dan is nervous and slightly homo
Wow this was fun to write
Gbyee \(￣< ￣)>