Brand New Eyes

She Lives In A Fairytale

Once she was out of sight, Zac moved to the other side of the table and we started our well-needed discussion. "Oh my gosh, what is going on between you three?" Taylor asked, looking at me. "T, if I knew, I would tell you. But, it seems to be that even though I'm in the middle of this, I should know what going on. But, T, I really, really don't." "No, actually, Josh is in the middle of this. It's like a catfight between two girls." Zac said, trying to put humor in it, per usual. "There is no fight, Zac. She thinks we're fighting for the same reasons. I'm only fighting for you guys back." "What do you mean 'fighting for you guys back'?" I sighed and said, "You guys, let's face it. We aren't that close anymore and it's because of everything that happened last year." They nodded and looked down. "I mean, you guys don't have to say anything, but I do... I mean, I really, really do miss you guys. Josh and I can't agree on anything and I just don't know what's gonna come of this. The only person who I still connect with is Jerm and he's not really around anymore." "Hayles, that's not gonna happen again." Taylor said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Taylor, let's be real, okay?" I replied, looking at him. "We're in a band crisis and I'm scared." Taylor was looking over at me and I could just feel the sense of sympathy he had for me. But, this wasn't a game of 'I'm sorry and we make up'. This is real life and it's haunting me. Haunting me.

That's when a group message text came in, so we all checked it, expecting it to be Josh. But, it was Jeremy. Jeremy said: Can I play catch-up and find out what the hell is going on? I'm completely lost.

Zac: Long story bro

Jeremy: Well, I'm up for it.

Hayley: I'll talk to you about it later, if I'm not busy.

Jeremy: K. But, my phone is ringing off the hook guys. I'll just have to mute it.

Hayley: Alright ttyl

Jeremy: Bye.

I looked back up and Zac looked like he was about to say something, so I waited. "Hayley, Josh still loves and cares about you. It's just hard, I guess. I don't know why the rest of us have separated, but we're sorry. Well, I speak for myself. So, I'm sorry. But, it's not that simple. We have to actually try to fix this." "I know, bud. I know and I'm all ears for you, if you have something you want to say." "We're growing up and we're just different now." "Yeah, I mean, that's normal, right?" Taylor spoke up. "Yup. It's definitely normal, but normal is not something I wanna accept right now. If splitting a band of best friends up is normal, then I want weird. I want crazy. This is the worst time of my life ever. Like, I never thought having an ex in the same band with you would be so damn hard. And I never thought that a new relationship could tear apart old ones so easily. But, I... I don't honestly this all on her." "Then, who do you blame it on? Cos don't you dare say yourself. This is not all your fault." Taylor said with certainty. "Everything that happened back on the UK RIOT! Tour is what tore us apart and we all that." "Yeah, but we're over that. We had time away and now we're gonna okay. Hayles, don't be such a pessimist. We are in no predicament to be pessimistic. We can't afford to not be optimistic." "Taylor, how do you expect me to feel? Huh?" I replied, then looking over at him. "Taylor, I have felt so, so lonely for the past year and no one can tell me how I'm supposed to feel. I don't know where to begin with a new start; a new chapter." "I mean, Hayles, I'm not trying to tell you to feel anything. I just want you to be happy." "I know, T. I know what you're saying. You're right, though. We're in no predicament to be like this. So, why do continue this?" "We just need Josh in on this, Hayles," Zac said. "It won't be hard. Once he's away from the stress of dealing with a new relationship and an old one. There won't be your boyfriend for him to worry about and his girlfriend for you to worry about. It will be two best friends re-unite, because let's face it, you guys are fine without any drama. And everything will be a piece of cake." I just nodded, looking down. "Hayles, look at me." Taylor said. I looked up at him. "We'll be just fine." He said. I nodded and he wrapped his arms around me, embracing me in a warm hug. I don't even remember the last time I'd hugged Taylor or had a good time with him, but it comforted me, knowing that there was hope on my side, with these two idiots ;-).

Our phones vibrated again and we checked it. It was Josh. Josh said: Well, look what we have here, guys. She's crying now. What am I supposed to do?

Hayles: Well, for starters, get off your phone while your girlfriend's crying. And just comfort her. But, just because she's crying doesn't mean that you've changed your mind. Remember that. Unless you have...

He didn't text back, me guessing that he took my advice and listened. I, then, felt the urge to go to the bathroom, but I didn't want to seem like I was ruining their moment of truth. So, I decided to look for another bathroom. I told T and Zac that I'd be back soon, to find another bathroom and then left.

On my way to the bathroom, I had to pass by the bathroom that Josh and Jenna were outside of. I walked past and I was going to ignore them, until I heard my name. It was coming from a female voice, so I knew it was Jenna.

I heard her say, "Hayley? Is she what this is about, Josh? Because if she is, then I'm out of here." Then, I heard Josh say, "Jenna, calm down. I just want you to know that I don't have feelings for her and that she doesn't have feelings for me. Like you said in the store, it is hard for her with Chad gone. See? She loves him and she misses him. She's not worried about me." Yeah, whatever. He is lying straight to her face and she knows it. He's digging himself a hole. Now, I'm just realizing how much worse this is going to make everything. "Oh, really?" "Yes. I promise." "You promise?" "Babe, yes." "Then, show me what you guys were texting about." "What?" "Show me." "Jenna, that's not necessary." "Why can't you show me?" "Well, because..." "They already told me back at the table, so if you're story is any different than theirs, I'm so done with everything today." He sighed and said, "Jenna, what are we doing if you can't trust me?" "No, Josh. How about we switch this thing around? Shall we? What are we doing if I can't trust you?" "She's my ex girlfriend and you need to get over it." He said, putting some bass in his voice. "What were the texts about, Josh?" she replied, avoiding his statements. He hesitated and I could just feel the need to jump in there and help him, but I couldn't. Well, technically, I can. But, I'm not supposed to. I'm not even supposed to be eavesdropping. But, I had every right to listen. This was about me, for Christ's sake. But, I couldn't let him die in there, so I turned the corner and stopped the conversation.

"Listen, Jenna..."