Brand New Eyes

I Scraped My Knees While I Was Praying...

A/N: Jerm is so cute in that picture.

“Listen, Jenna. I've heard you go on and on about how much of a reason that I am for your relationship insecurities. I get it- I'm his ex, he’s my ex, we’re in a band together, we’re around each other when you're not there, we’ll be across the country for weeks at a time, there’s turmoil in the band, our fans want us back together. But, let me get one thing straight- I will not be the constant blame for your insecurities. I don't have feelings for anybody but my boyfriend, Chad, who you seem to know so well, since you like to bring him up so casually in conversations. Stop making me seem like a bitch. You're not innocent. You’ve been trying to make me feel uncomfortable ever since we stepped foot in that store. You weren’t even supposed to come, but Josh just had to tag you along for the fun. Do you know what the purpose of us being here was for? No? Well, I’ll tell you.” “Hayley, stop.” He said, sounding incredibly serious. “No, Josh. She needs to hear this.” He just huffed out a sigh and let me continue. “The reason we’re here is because we need to get back down to the basics of how our friendships started and it was all because we wanted to have fun making music. But, you are here just ruining every last bit of it. I'm trying to be the glue that holds this band together, but I feel like you're making this really hard for me. I want my boys back and that includes Josh. Don't make me make your life as much of a living hell that you're making it for me.” “Hayley, stop it!” Josh shouted. “Oh, Josh, I was already done when I walked in here. I just thought that maybe she needed my piece of mind maybe.” “Hayley, please…” “Just a little, tiny piece of my mind.” I replied, edging him on. “Stop.” “Okay. Your wish is my command. Just one thing, JOSHY. Don't let THIS ONE ruin our night. Not again, Josh. Not again.”

I walked away from them, walking past Jenna to get to the bathroom. looking up at him. He shook his head at me and walked away. I shrugged my shoulders and walked into the bathroom. I honestly did give not one fuck. Jenna deserved everything that came to her. She is a constant annoyance and a consistent blockage from building a healthy friendship with my friend. Josh and I were great friends before we broke up. But, when your friendship is already on the rocks, it makes it harder to fix when there’s somebody creating more problems than one too many can handle. I'm the one who has to suffer when she makes issues between people. I am. But, the thing is that whenever Josh and I have conflict, it somehow affects the band in the long run, too. And it makes me feel really bad because Zac, Jeremy, and Taylor are all innocent to every situation between Josh and I. I'm just really hoping that my speech to Jenna gets through to her head and makes an impact on how she feels about me and Josh’s relationship because I honestly have no feelings whatsoever for that boy. But, on the other hand, I can't say the same for him. He still asks me about my feelings towards him and that’s obviously because he’s not over his own feelings towards me. I do not feel the same way and that’s the only reason that I was upset that she blamed me, when it was her own boyfriend who wanted me. If she rightfully upset with Josh, then I wouldn’t have been defending. Well, I wasn’t really even defending anyone but myself. But, honestly, I was more worried that Josh was upset with me. He doesn’t even really have any room to be upset with me because I saved him. To Josh, Jenna’s like a princess who gets whatever she wants, so he’s easily persuaded and manipulated by her to do anything she says. So, I jumped in so that he didn’t feel pressured enough to tell what we were talking about in our group conversation. It wasn’t what she might’ve thought it was about. She, most likely, thought it was a text between just Josh and I, and that it was so secretive to the point that he would be ashamed to show her. But, that’s mainly why I had to jump into the conversation. He’s stuck in between two opposing sides and he seems to not know which one is the “right one” to choose. My side would be the “right one” because I don't want to hurt her, but I want for her to let go of her insecurities, especially if their based off of me. I don't even do anything to make her jealous. But, her side would be the “right one” for Josh because that’s his girlfriend and it'd be a lot easier to deal with everything if he just agreed with anything she said.