in the end ⇔ halsey

nine

[APRIL]

kissing ashley is indescribable. 

 i won't even attempt to describe it, it is just incredible. 

i'm not sure what tempted me to go for her. i didn't even realize that i liked her in that way until my lips met hers. 

but now my mind is racing. ashton knocked on the door just a few minutes ago, and now ashley is back with him. probably kissing him in the same way she just kissed me. 

i feel a little strange about the whole thing, since we didn't really discuss it, we were just interrupted and she left without saying anything.

i'm pacing frantically around the room, my lips somewhat swollen, when ashley bursts in again. 

"we need to talk." we both spit at the same time.

before i can speak, she's already halfway through her sentence.

"seriously what was that? why did you kiss me, and why did i enjoy it so much?" 

she seems angry.

i scoff. "you didn't do anything to stop it, don't blame this all on me." 

"keep your voice down!"

lowering to a whisper, i speak again. "i don't know what came over me, and if i overstepped my limits, i can be out in a few hours." 

the blue haired girl takes a deep breath and sighs. "that would probably be best-"

standing up, i go to leave, sucking in a sharp breath and feeling a lump grow in the back of my throat. 

"-but when have we ever done what's best?" 

my heart stops, and i spin around on my heels and walk back over to her. 

"what are you proposing, ashley?" 

warm hands slide into mine and squeeze. "have sex with me, as a friend thing."

"friends with benefits? i don't think that's a good idea, ash, i mean, you have ashton, and he-" i break away from her grasp and step back. she steps towards me again. she has a pretty good sense of the things around her, for a blind girl.

"ashton's horrible in bed, he's never been good. and from what you just displayed, you're really good with your hands, and your tongue, so if you put two and two together.." she smirks. 

how have i never realized how sexy she is?

maybe i have, i'm just good at hiding it.

"but if you think about the outcome, i mean in the end, why would you-"

she cuts me off yet again. "because, april, in the end, it's not like it matters."

it takes a few seconds before i make a decision. 

"oh, what the hell." i mutter before attaching onto her lips again. we move back over to the bed, and she's underneath me. 

"ashton's not in the house, so be as loud as you want to be, april."

the kiss is messy, and very greedy. 

my virginity isn't even on my mind when i start tearing the pretty girl's clothes off.

-=-

"are you fucking kidding me, you had never gone down on a girl before until just now?" ashley laughs, lying naked next to me, tied up in white sheets and heavy breaths. "you're a natural."

blushing, i lean over and kiss her. it turns into another make out when we hear a door slam. 

"damn." she mutters, pulling away. 

i jump up and throw my clothes on quickly, running out of the room and ducking into the bathroom as to avoid ashton, who's coming up the stairs quickly. 

i'm here, so i might as well shower. 

i get in and let the water run down my back, thinking about ashley.

the sounds she made, the way she tasted, the way i could surprise her and make goosebumps appear all over her. just the way i made her feel in general.

i have officially decided that i love eating girls out. 

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A/N: whats up! this is sexual as hell! sorry it took me so long to update i just started school lol!

also BADLANDS HOLY FUCCCKKKKK!!!! 

what's your favorite song(s) off of it??

mine are colors (duh,) gasoline, strange love, control, and castle lol but im a slut for ALL OF THEM

also if youre a fan of panic! at the disco, COMMENT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT DEATH OF A BACHELOR BECAUSE GOD DAMN!!!!!!!!

evie if youre reading this i love you 

and i love all of you who read this okay peace out