Dear God

thirty four ◇ moments

"Dear God, 

"There is a moment when I realize I still believe in you. 

"The one person I call out to every time I'm afraid, or upset, or happy. With you, I feel extraordinary. It's breathtaking, knowing that no matter whoever pushes me down, there will always be one person out there to pick me back up. And even though I never witness this entity by flesh and blood, I know for a fact that you're real. You reside inside of me and it is your enlightening aura that makes me get up no matter what.

"And I hope you forgive me for letting you go these past two years.

"Because you've saved me a million times even when I asked for no help.   

"In the washroom, when I cried so much my shoulders shook so wild and my breath kept hitching in my throat.

"At school, when the children and schoolwork all got too much.

"At home, when I was too afraid to walk out.

"In my head, when I was too lazy to get up and do my work.

"In my thoughts, when I was laying on my bed thinking about my future and how the reality of it all scared me so bad: I'd go off to college, leave my parents and everything I'd known behind, I'd start a life and continue to live while time continued ticking by faster and faster, nothing brave enough to hurl it to a stop.

"And now thanks to you, I know wishes do come true. I now know where you are.

"You changed my life.

"Whether it was cold, hard or just plain unexplainable.

"Oh my, God, you're one unpredictable power. You help people when they least expect you to listen. Some times, I've come to realize, you appear in ways I never thought possible. Helpful strangers who had no need to stop by, but did. 

"It had to be the God in them speaking.

"Only the believers will understand.
Faith is a funny thing. It isn't visible until you choose to see it.

"But I know you're there for me and everyone else, whether they choose to believe it or not. 

"And that will make me go on no matter what."

____________________